biochemistry and other random updates:)

Beautiful started Basketball for a home school team. Her first game was snowed out last night:( She spends a lot of time on my itouch texting friends, listening to music on her ipod, and in general being a teenager:)

Buddy is LOVING the snow. He takes Superman out for snowball fights and we went sledding last weekend. We are also enjoying playing board games:) He discovered Larry the Cable Guy on netflix. I had heard something negative about him in the past so never allowed it to be watched. However, watching a grown man with a voice like "Mater" is irresistibly hilarious lol!!

Superman is enjoying the snow too. He and Buddy spend hours and hours together building huge lego "bases" and making totally creative things.

Grace just had her second retest. Her numbers continue to improve and she was able to be taken off of 6 of the supplements. We have added one more to see if we can get increased focus and decreased hyperactivity. We have added back all foods (except meat) and for the most part are having good success. The foods like peanut butter and cheese that she is not supposed to have we are allowing in small quantities without any known adverse effects. We have always reduced sugar with the kids like juices due to cost and the adverse affects of sugar. However, I am now discovering that this practice has been bad. All of the kids have had low sugars (including myself!) and we are seeing improvement with adding juices and more fruits into the diet.

Faith's congestion is still present but not to the degree that it was. Her biochemistry numbers were significantly improved on her retest as well and one supplement was stopped. We are hopeful for increased healing of her body and for the breathing problems to be gone. She originally had high blood sugars, but once we properly hydrated her they are low too.

JJ has had the most improved symptoms and the least improved biochemistry on the retest - go figure! He slept through the night 5 nights in 1 week, then went 2 weeks very grumpy and not sleeping through the night again. In talking with a friend we figured out it was probably due to weaning him. So, I stopped that and...his is back to his cheerful self AND sleeping through the night! However...he is sick again. With the congestion he is still eating and has not spiked a high fever. So, despite being sick he does appear to be on a better trajectory than he went on all summer when the congestion would start. He is just the sweetest little kid!!! He drags out all of my lids, bowls, containers, food out of the cupboards and stacks them, or carries them around the house, or puts them in a box and pushes them around the house. Since starting the supplements and his appetite increasing his weight has gone up almost 2 lbs and he has grown almost 2 inches! That means that he can drag things out of high drawers, things closer to the center of the table, and can get his leg up to climb on things that are higher than he could 2 months ago lol!

I, too, have had low blood sugar. I am realizing now all of the long lasting implications of this. First, it makes me have headaches. When I have headaches I am grumpy (sadly true) and I eat more. I now weigh more than I ever have except when pregnant:( I have enjoyed a week of being headache free now that I am understanding the correlation between when and what I need to eat (increased juices and fruits) to stave off the headaches. Apparently once those blood sugars level off I should be able to lose some weight too as my metabolism will increase. Bonus! I keep getting told that my "numbers" indicate that I need more rest. Go figure...

I am mostly done with Christmas shopping. Beautiful is a little harder to shop for but she has kindly given us a list of wants:) Now to finish end of year tax preparation, paying bills, menu planning with all of the foods we can and cannot eat, home school, cleaning, work, projects, cleaning, Christmas program, basketball stuff, and have I mentioned cleaning? At the end of the day I mostly feel like I cleaned up messes all day.

I am considering a "good to have done" but not "urgent" task to complete this weekend. We'll see if I can make some progress on it or not:)

Thanksgiving Traditions

Our family enjoy tradition, like most families do. Thanksgiving really marks the beginning of the Christmas season in our family. I am bummed that blogger is not uploading my pictures to show you some of the adorable pics that we got of the kids this year. We made lefse yesterday and Beautiful had lots of fun being the "Flour Queen." This, of course, means that there is a huge mess for me to clean up afterwards...but the kids have a blast:) Today we set up the Christmas Tree. I have been pondering lately how well I know my children. It is amazing how long you can live in close proximity with people and not really know them. I have been trying to "study" my children lately and really know their personalities. I watched them put up the tree and had fun learning more about them.

Beautiful - she really didn't care about putting up the tree at all. She just wanted to have Christmas music on to sing and dance around. Yep, 14 year old girl:)

Buddy - he really wanted the tree up. I was in the middle of trying to get paperwork caught up and he had that tree up before I got done. He was all about getting the lefse going too. He is all about "this is how it is supposed to be so get it checked off the list." I worry sometimes that he doesn't enjoy process, just completion. But, alas, he is just like his mother...sigh...

Superman - he loved watching the ornaments go on the tree. He is very sentimental about the things that have been given to him and they are dear to his heart. I'm sure that has something to do with having nothing from the first 3 years of his life - and being able to remember that he has nothing to remember those years by. All day he couldn't wait to put the ornament on the tree that made last year in preschool.

Grace - she was totally taken in by the excitement and the sparkling lights, tinsel, and ornaments. She was insistent about "helping." Of course, she was singing and dancing with her big sister!

Faith - she was more willing to watch the process and be a part of it. Singing and dancing is also a big part of how she experiences life and she belted out Christmas songs with the rest of us.

JJ - He just could not (and can not) get enough of the ornaments. He wants to be right there in the tree touching and exploring this new sight! He is very, very curious:)

I was thinking last night as I was playing the piano with my family gathered around singing Christmas Carols about the many things of which I am thankful. I am so glad that my Grandparents paid for me to take piano lessons, for my parents making me keep taking piano lessons, for my wonderful piano teacher, and for the gift of a piano as a wedding gift from a dear friend. I am so thankful that all of my family WANTS to stand around the piano and sing. I am blessed by a cohesive family unit that, despite time constraints, varied personalities, and plenty of us to go around, we actually want to spend time together:) I love our family:)

His Grace is Enough

I have been contemplating grace lately - I am thinking about how I am feeling a lack of grace from people coming my way...and how I have been less than gracious to others.

Lately I have felt misunderstood. Our choices, as expected, look different on the outside to people who do not understand, or take the time to understand, our family. This has felt lonely. I have felt very few people pressing in to really "know" our family (nor have I had the time to cultivate relationships at this season of life). However, God has gently reminded me that many, many times my husband and I have not shown others grace either. Most poignantly I recall our dear friends whom we misunderstood both in their Faith and in their family size. They, I know, felt misunderstood by us. Yet, they were our biggest cheerleaders when we came to faith and have always been supportive of our family being larger than "2.2 children." They handled our lack of grace towards them maturely, and now it is my turn to handle this well.
I've had this blog post rolling around in my head for some months now, and decided to finally take the time to share it.

When people don't understand why we would have SIX! children...His grace is enough
When people don't understand why "only six???"...His grace is enough
When I think "what was I thinking?!?!?!?!...His grace is enough

When people don't understand what parenting children with prenatal "stuff" is like...His grace is enough.
When I am heartbroken and at my wits end about how to parent/teach children who have prenatal "stuff"...His grace is enough.

When people don't understand what parenting children who have seen terrible things is like...His grace is enough.
When I have no idea what the best parenting intervention is for kids who have deeper wounds than I can comprehend...His grace is enough

When people think we need to be more strict in our parenting...His grace is enough
When people think we need to be less strict in our parenting...His grace is enough

When people don't understand what parenting our teen/preteen is like...His grace is enough
When I don't understand our teen/preteen...His grace is enough

When people think we need to be in a certain Christian "box" that we are not maintaining...His grace is enough
When I feel inferior because I can no longer maintain my previous beliefs about the "Christian Box"...His grace is enough

When people look disapprovingly at us because we don't put the baby in the nursery at church because every time he goes he gets sick...and he never wants to be away from us...His grace is enough
During long nights when he doesn't want to be away from us and sleep by himself...His grace is enough

When people think "Oh no..."they" are coming with all those kids this is going to be hard"...His grace is enough
When I think "Oh no...we can't possibly do that because of the children's misbehaviors"...His grace is enough

When I have said "don't do _____________!!!!" for the 5987th time and it happens again 2 minutes later...His grace is enough
When God has told me "Don't do that" for the 5987th time and I do it again...His grace is enough

When others "talk" about how I need to be doing "more" in ministry, etc...His grace is enough
When I feel like there is not enough time to do well all of the things I want to do well...His grace is enough
When I am overwhelmed and climb into my hole and am totally unproductive except for replenishing my brain...His grace is enough

When I think about the trajectory that each of my children are on and worry...His grace is enough
When I think about the trajectory of this culture/world and the logical conclusions...His grace is enough

When other accuse me of the good I should have done and didn't...His grace is enough
When I know the good I ought to do and don't do it...His grace is enough

When I contemplate the endless array of decisions that need to be made: keep foster care license of not, go on a family vacation or not, to do housework or to just "be" with the kids, to cook something healthy for supper or to eat left overs, put money toward retirement...or college fund, read a book or take a nap, go on a date with my husband and regroup or save the headache of coming home to chaos, spend time with a friend to get a bit of replenishing or with a child and pour out more of myself I am in need of being reminded that His grace is enough.

Because His grace is enough... "I" am enough for I am a child of God, created in His image for His glory. While I am a pathetic vessel riddled with pain, insecurities, selfishness, and sin I am enough for Him. I am loveable...I am loved. Not because of who "I" am but because of who "He" is...because...His grace is enough!

JJ's Funniest Temper Tantrum...to date

In hindsight this was the funniest temper tantrum story our family has experienced - proving that even the 6th child can do something new lol!! However, at the moment we were kind of in shock as to what was going on. Our bathroom is kind of triangularly shaped. JJ has a preference for items in each corner...my husband and I can only cover 2 corners at a time! JJ really, really likes the toilet brush. Do you have a kid like that? Beautiful was our only other kid who liked the toilet brush. I remember once we left her with my mother and strongly suggested she watch her closely but, "if you can't find her...look in the bathroom." Sure enough, mom lost her...and she was in the bathroom.

But I digress. At 11:30 last night we are getting ready for bed and JJ was as energetic as he always is at that time of night. I sat JJ down in the bedroom and he made a BEE LINE for the toilet brush in the adjoined bathroom. My husband anticipated this and got to JJ at the time he had lifted the toilet brush above his head. Well, Beautiful had just cleaned the bathrooms yesterday so we had a wet mess. My husband grabbed the toilet brush and said "no." He then proceeded to grab a towel to clean up. This all took about 2 seconds and I was coming around the corner to help.

At that time JJ was in the "inhale deeply so you can let out a really loud scream to make absolutely sure that the whole house knows how you have been wronged by having your favorite toy taken away from you" phase. He was doing this while running across the bathroom. I came around the corner with the odd thought "why isn't he screaming - he always screams when he is mad?" in time to see him run into the wall and fall flat on his face on the rug. My husband and I are pretty sure that he essentially held his breath so long that he fainted. We picked him up and he didn't even have the loud, long scream. He looked a little dazed so I just sat and held him. Today he has a bit of a scratch on his forehead where he ran into the wall.

So, while I know it must have been a bit traumatic for him, having his favorite toy taking away and being utterly misunderstood about the fun one can have with a wet toilet brush and all, in hindsight it was pretty funny!!

Grace's new journey: week 6/7

It has been over 2 weeks since my last update. It is hard to fit blogging in with everything else. Essentially we continue to have progress.

Grace: The good news: Her digestive issues have improved to the point that we have introduced dairy products again...with no symptoms! For the first time in her life having sour cream, ice cream, cream cheese, etc does not result in her running for the bathroom. It is exciting:) Her hyperactive behaviors are improving. She still requires much behavior management but she is essentially off of the Ritalin. We are noticing for the first time now, because of the lessening in her hyperactivity/impulsivity, how much her concentration/focus is affected. We always knew that she was unable to focus well, but now it is more apparent. It seems that now when we are attempting to discipline her behaviors she is less angry and more...possibly remorseful.

Faith: We are 2 weeks into the supplements with her. We have not noticed any improvement with her. We also stopped her allergy shots at the same time so that is compounding her issues right now. She is congested, coughing, and has a runny nose all of the time. We are waiting for the retest to see how she is doing. She has some other foundational issues to get cleared up so hopefully once those are better we will see some improvement in the congestion.

JJ: Along with Faith and Grace having head colds and coughs (Faith's is by far worse, it always is), JJ had a cough and congestion. Usually that is followed by a fever, refusing to eat, and weeks later we finally end up putting him on an antibiotic. However, this time within a few days his cough cleared up and while he is still congested in his head it is his "normal" rattle when breathing (he has never breathed totally quietly all the time). He only had one day that he decided to eat minimal foods. He is drinking and eating 2x as much as usual and has gained 1 lb in the past month! So, we are considering that he is significantly improving as well. And, as a bonus...he is sleeping better! He has slept 12 hours for the past 3 nights - 1 straight through and 2 only getting up once for a bottle then back to sleep. His appetite has probably tripled - and that is likely a factor in his sleeping better - since he is eating more at a meal:)

Myself: I have been waiting around "something" to feel different. I have wondered since my symptoms were less specific what/if I would notice anything. I was looking at a specific symptom set and didn't really think I noticed anything (like more energy, etc). I have had some improvement specific to my issues, but am probably the most surprised that I have less pain in my back. That, of course, is a very pleasant surprise as I have learned to just live with the chronic pain as it is MUCH better than it used to be but there is not a minute that goes by that I am not experiencing some level of discomfort.

Our menu has change dramatically. There is a lot of food we don't eat anymore and a LOT of foods we have added that we never considered before. Millet, grits, green drinks, almond milk, etc. I am learning to hid veggies in soups. Since the kids are on vegetarian diets we are more creative about meals - being a farmer's daughter and my husband is a hunter we have always been all about meat. But...we are learning. Yesterday I made fruit leather and today I made homemade yogurt. Yep...times are changing at our house lol! I am thankful for a friend's blog www.heavenlyhomemakers.com. When in doubt...I check it out!
.....

Buddy

Yes, as long as the other kids are all needing changes in their diets/lives...why should we leave out Buddy lol! The long of it in short story form: When we went to the dentist last time we found out that Buddy has "tongue thrust" problem. We were recommended to put him in Myofunctional Therapy. After pondering that for 2 months we have decided to get him started on that today. We had a 1 hour initial assessment. Wow, I had no idea about speech/language issues or swallowing issues, etc. Buddy met the classic symptoms for "tongue thrust" problems. Since I had no idea about these things and am finding they are pretty common, I thought I would attempt to share this with you, without embarrassing my son in the mean time.

Before you read on, swallow. Notice where your tongue goes. It is supposed to press against the top of your mouth and not against your teeth. Well, Buddy's tongue doesn't even TOUCH the top of his mouth when he swallows, it only pushes forward against his teeth. That is leading to spaces between his teeth and a deformity with the roof of his mouth that is affecting his breathing and will only increase if not corrected. When a person swallows the food is supposed to go over the tongue, the soft palate at the back of the roof of the mouth is supposed to raise up and the uvala (whatever that sticky down thing is at the back of your throat ) is supposed to move backwards to close off the nasal passage while eating/drinking. Buddy's doesn't even move. That makes is much harder to swallow. In fact, he just puts food in and it goes right down his throat - especially liquids.

Here is the kicker...Buddy is an EXTREMELY picky eater. We found out today that kids with this problem are picky eaters because they simply cannot swallow many textures of food due to the way their mouth is not working properly. We had decided early on that the battle to get him to eat was not worth it. I am now VERY glad that we did not make that a battle because it was far more than a strong will...it is actually a structural problem with swallowing. He has taken a lot of grief over this for the years (and won't even go to camp in the summer due to food issues). We (and amazingly he is too) are very excited that he supposedly will be able to eat more foods soon!

Finally, when one's tongue and mouth is not working properly one does not enunciate as well as one should. We have always complained to Buddy that he is a mumbler. Soon, he should not be mumbling:)

So, for the next 14 - 18 weeks we get to drive to the next down over every week and have him do 30 minutes of swallowing (and other things) therapy. After that will be every 3 weeks, 6 weeks, etc until at the end of a year he will hopefully be cured.

Because life ALWAYS throws us curve balls and every time we think we are treading water something else happens to dunk us again:) It is all good, and it makes me trust and totally rely on God because I certainly can't do any of this in my own power.

JJ, Faith, and I join the ranks...

Since we are seeing such promising progress with Grace, we decided that we would have JJ, Faith, and I tested as well to try to get us on track.

Faith has a lot of congestion issues and we have had to have her on the nebulizer a lot due to wheezing and lung issues. She was on allergy shots which we have decided to discontinue at this time. There were some labs of hers that were much worse than Grace's. For example, her sugars are very high as well as her salts. The biochemist said that if she were a 50 y/o woman she may be concerned about heart attack. So, we are now working to minimize sugars and salts and significantly increase fluids. She is also have supplements that are to help her allergy congestion. We'll see how it goes!

JJ also needs many more fluids. We already knew that since he does not like to eat or drink. We are going to need to be creative about how to get the couple of supplements into him, in particular because he is low in several minerals. Overall we are attempting to help him with some digestive enzymes and similar things to want to eat more, digest his food better, and hopefully gain wait and be less congested. The biochemist said that many times people think they are lactose intolerant due to congestion from dairy products, but it is really a calcium deficiency. So, we are adding liquid calcium to his diet and switching him from goat's milk to raw milk.

And, myself. I initially felt quite guilty about spending the money to get tested before the rest of the kids were tested and maintaining. But in talking about it with my husband we decided that I need the energy and mental focus to be able to parent and implement these changes well so I should go ahead now and do it. I was surprised that the labs showed things that I thought I just needed to live with, such as peri menopausal symptoms I've dealt with for 11 years. So, in addition to the fact that I have low blood sugar just like JJ and Grace, labs about my concentration/focus were also poor (I knew that too lol!) I also have toxic levels of Magnesium - probably due to the multivitamin that I take (she does not agree with multi-vitamins anyway). So - I am off of my multi-vitamin. She also had some options for my chronic pain issues and to help the inflammation/pain from my herniated disk. We'll see how that progresses.

So, all of us get to do some changes together. Other than that we all have different needs and need different foods/supplements. I'll get a daily calendar together to make sure everyone is getting what they need when they need it, figure out how to make the teas and other drinks to help get in the minerals/vitamins that we need, and look forward to our re-tests in a month to see our progress! I, in particular, am looking forward to less pain and more energy and focus:) It is much less overwhelming this time around even though we are adding 3 diet changes compared to 1. Hopefully in a month or 2 we will get the other 4 in the family tested and...then be super healthy lol!

Grace's new journey: week 4

Yes, I skipped week 3...for any of you that were wondering:) We just got labs back from a retest on Grace. Many of the labs are significantly improved and the biochemist said that we are doing a great job to move her lab results that quickly. There are two areas that are moving more slowly but they are areas that tend to move slowly. We are still having problems getting...are you ready for this??? enough sugar into her. She is hypoglycemic. Apparently if blood sugars are too low then oxygen doesn't get to the brain properly and it affects concentration/thinking/etc. Who would have thought that a child with ADHD needs more sugar lol! So, we will be adding more juice to her diet. We are already able to back off one of the supplements. Her behavior is probably over all an 8 if we started at a 10, but we did have days where she was a 6. When we have a lot of excitement, fast paced routine, people, going places then she does much more poorly. We have opted that for now we will still do the Ritalin in those situations (I had to take her out of church on Sunday because she was not doing well - I haven't had to do that in a LONG time). We will make sure we give her Ritalin before church for awhile! She is still ornery especially when she doesn't think she is being watched...but part of that is being a strong willed 5 year old:) Overall, in the grand scheme of things, we are pleased with her progress thus far and believe it will only get better.

Grace's new journey: week 2

We continue the movement forward eating healthier food and hoping that Grace continues to do well. In the past 10 days we have only given her Ritalin once. We have learned that the supplements and the diet change have improved her behavior to the same place that the Ritalin had. Does that mean that she is optimally where we want her? No. But she wasn't optimal on the medicine either. We believe that she will continue to improve week by week. She is using her words more, pausing before acting more, concentrating on school work better, etc.

But then today happened. Last night her digestion problems came back. Today...back to the "old" behavior. Either we fed her something we should not have or there was a die off of something that needed to die off or...something. I had been wondering if she really was getting better or if I was imagining it as I wanted her to be better so badly...nope...I wasn't imagining it. Today was bad lol! That means she really IS getting better!

This tells us that her diet and digestion process really is the main culprit behind her behavior so we will forge ahead!! The next two days are big for us with picking up very special friends from the airport one day and the rest of the family shopping/playing while I attend a one day conference the other day. I hope this set-back is just for today...and I have faith that it is:)

Grace's new journey: week 1

Grace has now been on her new diet and supplements for 10 days. She takes 14 pills a day ranging from B6 to liver and kidney cleanses. She takes 2 different "drinks" 2 times a day each. She is absolutely a trooper about it. She drinks the "green drink" which is celery, spinach, asparagus, etc "juiced" up along with pineapple. She thinks that tastes fine. It is the Kidney Tea that she had a hard time with. I tried to give it to her warm with honey to flavor it but it was tough on her (I drank it too...nasty!). I tried it cold with pineapple juice and it is going great. I just want to add here that a dear friend blessed us with a juicer...it has made all the difference in making her drinks:) Thank you!!

So, how is her ADHD behavior? Well, after only 10 days I am surprised to say...noticeably improved! In fact, we are only giving her the ritalin about 1/2 of the time. Things we are noticing:
1) for the first time in her life she is not having diarrhea/loose stools. This may seem a bit gross but for a kid who apparently has never properly digested her food this is a "real" sign that her food is finally getting digested - and thereby actually used by her body! Yay!!

2) This morning she actually ASKED to play with something rather than just get it out and make a huge mess. For her to actually think far enough into the future to ask permission is big. This is happening several times a day.

3) While she used to get disregulated emotionally when upset about something spiraling into a major "incident," she will now actually use her words and say "that makes me feel left out" and allow herself to be comforted/redirected. She will come to us and ask for hugs and love rather than disregulate. This also means noticeably less bullying behavior. I almost can't believe she is the same kid!

4) She is not as famished as she used to be. She still eats plenty of food and we try to feed her at least 6 times a day. However, sometimes she says she is not hungry or won't eat as much. Again, this seems to mean that her body is finally using the food properly and is satiating her hunger.

5) She is much calmer than usual. She can still get worked up in certain situations, but overall if her energy level used to be a "10" she is averaging around an "8" in most situations.

6) I have found her playing for long periods of time, by herself...without wrecking anything! Her concentration and focus are clearly improved.

We hope to have her off of the ritalin completely within a month. We hope this trend continues and her body heals from the inside out rather than just a band aid approach. While I'm sure she will never be as calm as the other kids, we want to be everything that God has intended her to be. After all, if she were sedate she wouldn't be able to change the world...and we are sure God intends for her to be a world changer lol!

Sudanese meeting:)

Our first formal family picture of all 8 of us:)The kids:)

We had a very action packed day! We attended a special church service that we do not usually attend. It was very thought provoking...the best kind of church service!!

Then we headed to our capitol city to get family pictures taken. Since it is a 1 1/2 hour drive we don't make this trip often...especially now with all of the kids. We have not had formal family pictures taken since before Grace came to live with us. By the time that Grace was "ours" Superman and Faith had joined the family - so what should the "family" picture look like? Besides...life was so incredibly crazy that first year (has it really stopped???) that dressing up toddlers and driving 1 1/2 hours for formal pictures was totally not in my radar screen lol! Anyway, by the time they were "ours" we talked about getting pictures done but didn't. Then the church directory was getting done so we got a family picture done there...and 2 weeks later we got the call on JJ! God has a sense of humor lol! Anyway, we had fun getting pictures taken and got individual poses of each child too:)

The most significant part of the day was having a meeting with a Sudanese pastor. God ordained a meeting a couple of months ago with a woman who has a ministry to South Sudan with her husband and some members of the Christian Sudanese community. We set up this meeting today to meet him and ask him if he will help us connect the children to the Sudanese culture...yet keep them safe. We have walked a tentative line of knowing the children must be kept safe with us but also wanting them to know their culture. The African American culture is not the same as the Sudanese culture. Their history is not the same. We want them to be able to look in the mirror and be proud of who they are. We want them to look in the mirror and not be afraid. When I asked Superman what he wanted to talk to the pastors about today he answered, "I want them to help me not be afraid when I remember XXXX." This is an important part of their healing.

The pastor was wonderful (the other pastor is currently in South Sudan). He assured us that he would help us keep the kids safe while teaching us about their culture. He recommended a book to help understand the culture. He is also from the same tribe as the children!! We are trusting the God has ordained this meeting and that His will will be done through these connections.

To walk a path not in fear...but to be aware of the danger lurking in the shadows. To know that God is sovereign...but also that evil still permeates this earth.

Grace's new journey: Part 1

Our one-of-a-kind Grace has always had her own unique way of doing life. We have tried every traditional and non-traditional approach that we have known of to try to help her "feel more comfortable in her own skin." In June, you may recall, we discovered she has many food allergies. Since that time we have puzzled over "food allergies" and what is the cause of them thinking there has to be a fix beyond just eliminating the food. Furthermore, the conference I attended last week talked about the neurochemistry of placing a child on a stimulant and the permanent damage it can cause by pre-teen/teenhood. As we obviously want what is best for Grace, but also want the family to be able to feel safe and comfortable, we have remained open minded to options other than Ritalin.

In chatting with a good friend about this dilemma, she shared an interesting story. Her son has struggled with extreme eczema since birth. He is now 6 and she has tried every traditional and non-traditional approach she has known. In the process she has become quite the expert in food issues, digestion, how food affects eczema, etc. She recently had enlisted the assistance of a Biochemist who ran labs on her son and suggested some specific supplements based on the results of his specific biochemistry.

My husband and I were excited that after 6 weeks her son's eczema had completely cleared up for weeks - for the first time in his life! We wondered if this woman could also help Grace. I completed the 1 hour free phone consultation and we decided to move forward. We figured that even if it didn't work we needed to know that we have not left any stone unturned in our quest to help Grace.

We were dismayed and saddened (even more so than when we got the "allergy" results) to find out what the labs revealed about Grace's body. Grace apparently has significant issues with her kidney's and liver not processing toxins (which explains her frenzied behavior if she is toxic) , she is not digesting any food adequately (which explains her not gaining ANY weight in 18 months and ALWAYS being hungry and having chronic diarrhea), and several other issues such as her losing calcium, her potassium and Vit C being very low (she is always the first to get sick in our home), etc.

This information was consistent with what I learned about at the conference on how early stress and prenatal "stuff" affects the organs functioning, etc. To have this confirmed by someone totally not related to the conference via these labs seemed like confirmation that we are headed in the right direction to getting her some foundational help. However, we are very aware that this falls outside of "traditional" medicine and are moving forward skeptically optimistic.

The Biochemist suggested interventions of dietary changes and supplements. We are learning about food that I have not heard of before. I had to call my friend to ask her what Hominy is - since Grace is supposed to eat that 2 times a week. We have lots and lots of green leafy veggies in our house now - expanding our traditional 5 veggies that we normally eat lol! I learned how to make a "green drink" from spinach, celery, and pineapple juice. Sounds appetizing for a 5 year old, right ?!?!?! She has never liked meat and is now on a vegetarian diet - so she likes that a lot:) I am in the process of figuring out the "must eat every day, must eat 3x a week, etc" menu to make sure she is getting the balance of everything she needs.

The Biochemist is very skeptical about "food allergies" and suggests that once her body is able to digest/break down food properly that she will probably not have any negative reactions to food anymore. In fact, we have already reintroduced tomatoes with no adverse effects. The things that her body reacted to in the food allergy test were directly related to the things the Biochemist found were not working right in her body. We are still to keep her off of dairy (although she tolerates raw milk great!) until she is doing better though.

All in all, if nothing gets better with her behavior, we have introduced more healthy food into the house and I will grow my culinary skills:) Hominy, cooking with millet and a variety of grains other than just grinding whole wheat, making green drinks and home made almond milk will diversify our family:) At the moment I am trying to figure out how to get her to eat Asparagus 2x a week. And, if Grace could finally feel comfortable in her own skin...well...my husband and I are trying to wrap our minds around what that could look like...just imagine!!!!

Oh, and if anyone has a Juicer, or knows of someone who wants to sell a juicer, or knows of where to get one reasonably priced - we need one!

Texas Trip: family fun!

We enjoyed our trip to Texas! The kids got to do fun things every day and my husband so was wonderful with keeping them moving and playing while I sat in class day day every day:) They attended the zoo, a museum, Lego Land, a long horn steer stampede, the Botanical Gardens, a Mustang Makeover horse event, and plenty of swimming:)

Food: We had a big breakfast provided by the hotel every morning. It was a great start to the day! Supper was provided 3 nights - we really liked the Texan tacos:) I ate like a queen at the conference. The top restaurant in Fort Worth catered the food. We had all kinds of unique food like Tamales, delicious hot chocolate bread pudding served in a corn husk, cheddar grits with jalapenos, and then basic delicious food like grilled chicken and pork chops. Of course everything had plenty of peppers and spice to made it very tasty!

Sleep: Not much for anyone...moving on:)

The conference was amazing! I will be posted on what I learned in various posts. There was so much information I need to integrate it in my own brain and try to articulate it here in smaller chunks:) I have begun implementing it already here at home with good results so far:) Kids who come from hard places process and learn and react so incredibly different than kids without early trauma. I will admit that I did not always understand that and have some trepidation about sharing what I have learned with others who will dismiss this information...to the detriment of the children...

I am so passionate about adoption and about parenting. I am brain storming and praying about how God wants me to share this information with others and be a more active part of Orphan Ministry.

For some reason my pictures of the trip are not uploading so they will be on facebook if anyone wants to see them;)

JJ Update

JJ on his 1st birthday playing with his $50 present we got for $10 for being at the right place at the right time!!!!JJ loves to play with his big sister (and drag out all of my bowls) lol!

I thought this was such a cute birthday picture of him!!

It has been an interesting couple of months with JJ. He has been fever free for almost a month now. We started liquid Vitamin C around that time (continuing the daily Claritin) and are pleased that this is the longest since May that he has been fever free while not on an antibiotic.

Eating...JJ just does not have a big appetite. He may drink 4-5 oz once in awhile, but usually he will drink a couple of oz and then want to play. He is highly distractable at this age (of course!!) so noise and activity gets him off task. That means that we spend a lot of time "reminding" him that he needs to finish the bottle or the meal. At his 12 month checkup he was almost 25% under the growth chart. The physician gave us 3 months to get his weight up or we will need to do blood work, etc to see what might be going on. When he gets sick he loses his appetite completely and loses a lb in a week - making the battle longer. His mom and full bio sister are also tiny so I suspect genetics are a lot to play in it.

On 9/9 we had a 4 week weight - he has gained 1 lb! He also grew 2 inches...WOW! We suspected he was getting taller since he hits his head on the table when he tried to walk under it now:)

But, aside from those things, JJ is the most adorable, precious, amazing, charming, silly, funny, sweet, curious, smart;) , , , , My vocabulary cannot even begin to think of the appropriate adjectives to describe who he is and how much we totally delight in him. He is such a gift from God and he always makes me smile. I could not possibly be more in love with him than I am.

State Fair!

State Fair highlights!!!! Superman and Faith entered a cinnamon roll eating contest...Superman WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was so excited and won some neat prizes:) He has always liked to eat fast and we usually have to slow him down...it came in handy today lol!
I just hope Miss Grace continues to like being in the FRONT seat of the police car lol!
We enjoyed the Jeremy Camp concert. JJ and I stood in the back and he walked around charming all of the people walking by:)
Buddy enjoyed the John Deere booth the best...boys and their toys!!

We enjoyed our time at the State Fair yesterday and getting to know some new friends better whom Beautiful will play Basketball with this year on a home school team. There were only two downsides...
1) We had not put tennis shoes on the kids since May - yep - they have grown! Faith was so uncomfortable 1/2 way through the day:( We need to buy new shoes lol!

2) The kids loved the "walking tree" last year. This year were "walking vines." The girls have talked about it for weeks and all day yesterday they asked and asked where they were. Beautiful saw them as she was walking around with her friends but despite our best efforts the rest of us couldn't find them.

Oh...and...Buddy got a PURPLE on his shoulder mount white tail deer mount:)

Good family memories:)

Beginning our 8th year of homeschool:)

The short story: We have had a wonderful week of school. The kids are all eager to learn (yes, I am wondering where my children from last year went...Hmmmm:) We have developed a schedule (now just to stick with it!). We also had dentist appointments this week (no cavities!!) and eye appointments (no glasses either...yay!!!)

The LOOOOONG story:)
This year we started a high schooler, middle schooler, and 3 kindergartners. I fretted a lot this summer and talked over my plan with friends as I was so nervous about starting the 3 little ones when they have such varying skill levels. I think we have a plan and, just for fun, I thought I'd share our curriculum and plan with you! (of course, if you don't want to read you don't have to;)

Beautiful: She is a Freshman! First, I am having to get over the shock of her being so old already (meaning that I am getting old!!) We are working on her being more independent in her coursework and she is really rising to the occasion. I have informed her what she needs to have done between 9 a.m. and 12 p.m. (and what the consequence would be for not finishing;)

Buddy: He is a 6th grader. We are working on some specific skills with him that I will discuss below.

Superman: Kindergarten! He has made huge strides over the summer in learning and we have decided to not have him attend any classes at the public school. We will trust our understanding of his issues based on the testing we have had done (I did learning disability testing in graduate school and worked on IEP's with high schoolers) and focus on attachment issues and the things I am learning from the TCU training. We will reassess at the end of the year where his needs are. For now, he finally knows his alphabet (if he doesn't know the name of the letter he does know the sound) and is even reading short vowel 3 letter words!!!

Grace: Spitfire that she is she LOVES to sit down and work on school. She asked all summer "when can we do school mom!?" She is very artsy and loves to sit and create. She is developing about where I would expect...given that she doesn't attend to one thing very long lol!

Faith: She is doing great. Loves kindergarten. She was reading at age 4 and is very bright.

Coursework:
Apologetics (all 5 kids in school) - most important class! We are doing Creation or Evolution by Mike Snavely. We also bought the DVD's that go with it as they were highly recommended by friends and we look forward to what we will learn this year:)

Devotions (all 5 kids) - Character Building For Families vol 1 and 2 by Lee Ann Rubsam. We believe that home school has as much or more to do with teaching character development as academics.

Math U See (all 5 kids) - obviously they are at different levels but we have LOVED Math U See! It is great to have the DVD teach the lesson and then the kids work in the workbook until the skill is mastered. No endless workbook pages "just because." Once it is learned, move on to the next lesson.

English: Obviously with the little ones I am doing phonics. I have/will continue to use the computer program for "How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons." However, with some learning issues present we are also using Dianne Craft's material for teaching spelling/reading to the right brained learner. This is going well.

For Buddy I started using Shurley English. I had a friend recommend it to me 2 years ago. I decided against it last year as I was intimidated by the book. This year I bit the bullet and just decided to start it as opposed to using Bob Jones English as I have done for the past 5 years. Let me tell you just how sad that I am that I did not start to use this curriculum earlier!!!! It is wonderful! It explains things SOO much better! It is much more user friendly that I had thought (now that I am actually diving into the lessons). I will certainly start the little ones in this curriculum next year!

Beautiful has the fun experience of taking 2 English classes this year!! She is doing the Queen Secondary English program for her grammar needs. I am so excited about Home Scholar books. The author of this curriculum uses a popular book series like the Little House in the Prairie books (we are using the Lord of the Rings curriculum) to teach literary skills. Beautiful has to read a chapter, answer workbook pages on content of what she read, learn 10 "old English" vocabulary words from each chapter, and answer comprehension questions. There are sections learning about J.R.R. Tolkien, all kinds of literary terms, and some excerpts from Beowolf and other "old" stories and poems. The best part is that she gets to learn all of these important things while reading books she actually likes!

Spelling: For Beautiful we used several curriculums and settled on Sequential Spelling. For Buddy we have tried lots of options. Right now we are using Andrew Pudewa's Spelling Zoo combined with Dianne Craft's tips to improve spelling by focusing on the visual part of it (you know, trying to learn to spell based on "rules" doesn't work well in the English language lol!). So when there is a word he struggles with we turn the word into a picture somehow to help him "see" it when he is trying to spell it. He also does the "phonics tutor" on CD-ROM.

Spanish: Rosetta Stone - the newest version is a great improvement over the older one!!!!

For Science we are using the Answers in Genesis recommended "God's Design for Science." This year we are doing Biology, last year we did Chemistry (that was tough I'll tell you!!) I love, love, love this curriculum! I also really love the elementary versions of Apologia and we have used 4 of them in the past.

For History we love the approach by My Father's World. We are studying ancient history this year - from Creation until the time of the Greeks. When we started home schooling we used all My Father's World and then adapted based on each child's needs - that is part of the beauty of home schooling!!!

For Art we are in a home school co-op. I really, really, (REALLY) am not artsy so this is so great for our kids!

Beautiful will be on a home school Basketball league this year for PE. Otherwise she helps to teach a PE class for younger kids in our co-op.

We are also learning Greek/Latin root words - very helpful for vocabulary in the English language!

Reading - I require that the kids read age appropriate books daily but let them choose what they are interested in from the hundreds of books on our bookshelves.

We like Quarter Mile Math on the computer to solidify math skills in a fun way:)

I think that covers it. I may be forgetting something.

Structure:
We start the day with Dianne Craft's Brain Integration training. Her book is filled with exercises to help people "cross the midline" and have information become what she calls "unblocked." I have several of her DVD's and CD's (including 1 on biological needs (such as supplements) for kids who struggle with learning) and have gone to 6 of her seminars. The information/exercises that she talks about is also discussed in the TCU training that I am taking on helping kids with attachment/fear issues. I have seen significant improvement in my kids who participate in this.

In the morning I have the big kids work at their pace from 9 - 12 in self-study. I am available if they need help with anything like correcting a lesson or giving a spelling test. However, by this stage they are mostly self-studying. I have the little ones do 30 minute "stations" during this time. Superman and Faith each have 2 30 minutes stations during this time to play with Jonathan since he is absolutely and totally unwilling to ever be alone (in fact, he is on my lap right now!) Superman and Faith LOVE to have this time alone with their brother. Where is Grace you ask? She is kept at the table with me and the older kids doing art projects, practicing her reading, numbers, etc. I keep her in my sights at all times lol! When Superman or Faith are not with Jonathan they are engaged in other quiet activities that they enjoy but are "learning" tasks. I keep the 3 in separate rooms all morning and, wow, it sure is quieter and no one is hurting anyone else lol! Seriously though, they do have trouble occupying themselves since they are used to our "little CEO" constantly telling them what to do and them always needing to be on guard for her. This time allows them to have the freedom to look through books or whatever they choose and have self-directed time.

Once the big kids finish their subjects we all do science and history together. (we do eat in here... I promise!!) Then it is time for kindergarten. I am using the word lists and concepts from the Dianne Craft right brain learner book to teach letter identification, letter sounds, and reading. I am using My Father's World with the rest of what I am teaching them. Since MFW is not "workbook" heavy I also am using the Answers in Genesis Preschool curriculum workbooks to solidify concepts as a review (and some new material) from what I taught them in preschool last year. I find that with 3 of them I have to find something for 2 to do while I do 1:1 work with another one. They LOVE the workbooks - go figure:)

I'm sure I have forgotten something. I hope that if you are considering home school you have been encouraged about how many options there are and how it is very doable...even with several kids! If you are a home school parent and have any suggestions for me, please let me know!! If you have read this far...wow!!!

small breakthrough??

Sport has a hard time with time out. He has a hard time all the time feeling "left out." He has such far reaching hurts from the life he had before us... When we put him in time out he used to scream like we are cutting off a limb, now he "just" whines. He really hates time out. He will whine for hours if we would let him stay in there that long.

Today, he was throwing rocks...again. So he went to time out...again... When I went to talk it over with him hoping he had calmed down he was still whining.

I said, "why are you whining?"
Sport said, "because there isn't anything fun to do in time out."

There you have it...we have apparently met our goal of time out (not getting to have fun). Now we need to work on him actually trying to avoid time out by obeying lol! Understanding that disobedience has a consequence is so important - but they need to learn to do right...not just try to not get caught!

I am so frustrated by the premise that I am the cause of his pain. When I worked in prisons for 9 years I learned that the primary thought of criminals is "THEY are the problem" (the judge, the cops, the person who told). So, I may be a bit hypersensitive to my children thinking they they don't have the problem. Isn't that the core problem with sin and Satan's deception? The world is unfair. THEY are the problem. THEY don't understand. "I" am the victim.

But...how does one deal with that with a child who has been deeply hurt? They have learned that "the world IS unfair," "THEY did cause the problem,"" I WAS the innocent victim." Satan is so deceptive and evil. He twists and makes everything confused.

Thankfully we have the LIGHT and TRUTH of Christ. We have the Holy Spirit to help us discern and to give us wisdom. We have God who works ALL things of the good of those who love Him.

Reading...

I have been reading several books lately that I wanted to share my thoughts on. As I've shared before I am currently taking a class from Texas Christian University on TBRI (Trust Based Relational Intervention) as a means of working with children who have come from hard places. I'll share more about what I have been learning in that class in another post. But, I have had to read 2 books as part of that class that I would like to share here. The first one is The Connected Child - for parents who have welcomed children from other countries/cultures, from troubled backgrounds, with special behavioral or emotional needs. It is written by Karyn Purvis Ph.D. and David Cross, Ph.D. I think that all parents who have adopted kids from hard places should read this book. It has taught me more than any of the other sources on adopting combined. In part it teaching about looking at the brain chemistry changes that occur with early trauma and the long term ramifications of that helps to understand why a child engages in behaviors that as parents we sit back and scratch our heads over...or get very frustrated about. The book offers many ways for us to see our children's behaviors differently so that we can more accurately see the heart of our hurting/fearful child rather than assume "this child is willfully rebellious and will never change." They give many specific strategies for intervention and give much hope to the parents who don't know what to do next. What I appreciate the most about the book is that Dr's Purvis and Cross are Christians who do not rely solely on modern psychology but rather incorporate the truths of Christian parenting - including as part of our parenting to instill in our children their identity as a loved child of God.

The second book I read as part of this class is The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder by Carol Kranowitz, M.A. Sensory Processing Disorder (or, as seen in various locations SI or SPD) is a relatively newly categorized disorder on the Autism spectrum. The spectrum goes from Autism to Asperger's Syndrome, to SPD. The book is very readable and helps to explain the causes and behaviors of those children who are highly sensitive to sounds, smells, sights, etc. Those kids who we buffer from out of the box (for them) experiences knowing those experiences will result in triggering a behavioral outburst. It also does a great job of explaining how SPD sometimes looks like ADHD - but delineates clearly how they are two different disorders.


The next group of books I am reading are parenting books (not that the above books aren't helping me parent my kids who have a wide range of "issues"). I believe strongly that parents need to be intentionally parenting their children and not just "getting through the day" by clothing, feeding, and keeping their children alive. We need to get to the heart of our children, teach them how they are loved by their Creator and the need for them to live for their Creator.

I was very, very impressed with Voddie Baucham Jr.'s book Family Driven Faith: Doing what it takes to raise sons and daughters who walk with God. He clearly goes through the reasons why we need to be parenting more intentionally, and wonderful suggestions on how that would look. Many of the precepts his discusses I already agreed with, but he had more practical suggestions and laid out the Biblical foundation well. I highly, highly, highly recommend this book.

And, because we have a teenager who is...well...a teenager...I also read What He Must Be...if he wants to marry my daughter - also by Voddie Baucham Jr. My husband and I were not raised in Biblical homes and this world of parenting...and parenting a teenager... has made us really examine our Worldview. We desire to have a Biblical Worldview and I am so thankful for such great leaders such as Voddie Baucham Jr who write such excellent books on this topic. This book takes a look at what Biblical Manhood should look like and how our daughters should settle for nothing less than a solidly Biblical Man - and how it is the father's responsibility to be actively involved in that process. It was very convicting about the goals we need to have for our own sons as well...

Finally, I read Boy Meets Girl - say hello to courtship by Joshua Harris. It the follow up to his "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." It is a great book that clearly defines what "courtship" means, has excellent practical ideas on what courtship looks like, and explains why courtship is the Biblical model.

My hope is that if any of you are looking for help or helpful ideas in parenting your children that you would check out these resources. I am always learning such great ideas from other blogger friends that I want to pass along what I have found helpful too:)

JJ Update

JJ had hard nights Sat. and Sun. Sunday night he even had inconsolable crying which he has never had before. He had a fever of over 104 again. He also stopped taking in solids (he doesn't eat many of those anyway) and taking bottles - only nursing. Monday morning I took him to the physician. He has bad head congestion again but without drainage - odd. His throat was very raw and his lungs were congested again. I had taken 2 other kids in for Kindergarten physicals on Friday so weighed JJ then - he was 17 lbs 12 oz (I was so proud that he broke 17 lbs lol!) Monday we found that he had lost 4 oz since Friday. So, he got a shot of an anti-inflammatory, started on Zithromax, started back on the nebulizer treatments, and we had to go back on Tuesday. His fever broke Monday night:) The antibiotics always work well when he is on them, but his symptoms come back right away when he gets off the it.

Tuesday he had lost another several oz, but with the fever gone and he energy level up we did not have to hospitalize him as we had feared. We go back the end of this week to see if all is well. He is finally back to eating solids and drinking bottles again. One day he drooled so bad - his throat hurt him so much that he would not swallow his spit. Thankfully once his fever broke and the antibiotic kicked in he was not drooling anymore lol!

Once again, I am so thankful that we made the decision to nurse him. Each time that he gets sick he refuses bottles but will still nurse. I'm sure that he would have been hospitalized more often (and longer the time he was hospitalized with RSV) had he not nursed. I hope that more adoptive parents learn about this option and choose it:)

JJ is feeling great at the moment. He is walking all over the place staying vertical for 3 - 25 steps at a time. In a few weeks he won't fall hardly at all and we'll have a "toddler" instead of a baby... He loves to open all of my drawers and cupboards, pulling out my bowls, lids, etc. He is such a delightful and wonderful son. We are blessed:)

Trying to maintain perspective

When irritated at the company that does my billing being VERY slow over the past month I'm trying to be thankful that I have a job that pays the bills at all. When overwhelmed with the idea of starting home school with 3 kindergartners in 3 weeks with special needs I'm trying to be thankful for the blessings of a full quiver. When frustrated that I can't figure out how to get wireless internet hooked up to the kids' school computer that I have been installing their school work on for 2 days I'm trying to be thankful that I can even have a "school" computer aside from "my" computer-and that I can even have internet at all (or get to home school them, or have a house to do it in, or have health to be able to teach, etc). When I look at my house that looks like tornado hit it and I don't even know where to start to organize it I'm trying to be thankful that a tornado did not, in fact, hit it. When I try to figure out what to feed Grace to make her gain weight since she is getting taller but has not even gained 1 lb in 1 year I'm trying to be thankful that we are even in America and have many, many food options or even a diagnosis! When my back hurts every day and I think of how long it has been since it has not hurt (over 2 years) and 'm trying to be thankful that I'm not in a wheelchair and can realistically still live life even if it is less productive (in my opinion). Monday My husband and I rejoiced that after 3 months of kids on antibiotics and nebulizers we were med free...and after 5 days off of the antibiotics Jonathan has been getting increasingly congested again and today spiked a 104 fever...again...I am feeling like the last straw has landed... I know it could be worse. I'm thankful to be in America and have medicine to help him. I am thankful that he doesn't (to our knowledge) have some chronic illness like Grace's aunt who struggles every day with Cystic Fibrosis. He is not struggling just to live and therefore it should not be so frustrating. I'm SOOOOO thankful to just have him and he is such a blessing to our lives. But today...I'm having a hard time keeping perspective in front of me. So, today I'm just clinging to the Cross and trusting in the depth of His love, that He has a plan, and reminding myself that one day when I see Him face to face.. all will be perfect:)

vacation...and a new direction

We went on vacation to my parents home last week. We happened to be there for our 16th wedding anniversary. Here we are (along with my parents) sitting on the steps where we got married...our family has changed lol!

On our anniversary my husband and I went out to eat. My mother got us this cake to celebrate after she watched all of the kids for us!!!
My brother came over. Buddy always as a blast with his uncle!!
On the way to a family wedding we stopped at my Dad's house and got to ride his 4-wheeler and visit a bit:)
The weather was very, very hot and humid so we only got to go to the park one day while we were there. We had lots of fun playing in their game room though...we greatly appreciate their big house:)

We have been undergoing several opportunities to learn and grow and be stretched lately. Having children with "history" is a daunting task and one that requires being on our knees and being very intentional about parenting. I am saddened by a recent statistic that I heard that people spend more time grooming than with their children. Sad...

I am learning a lot about parenting children with "history" from my class from Texas Christian University. I have taken 2 of the 5 required modules/tests and then have the 40 hour class in September. Our parenting is being transformed by this information...while at the same time we are sad that we did not know this information 4 years ago. God is putting on my heart to share about what I am learning in the hopes that other parents who want to adopt or have adopted will know that there are resources out there to help when "history" plays out in the present. I will attempt to blog more often and I will be more intentional about the blog topics. If any of you want to view the DVD's of the lectures please let me know!

So, enjoy our vacation pictures...and I'll post soon about what I'm learning on this journey:)

Treading Water

The kids at the park:)
Beautiful pitching in her softball tournament - they won. She hit 2 home runs!
JJ was crawling around on the grass for the first time. He pulled the bottles out of the diaper bag and then picked one up and stood up! it was the first time he stood up without pulling himself up! I can't believe I was sitting there with a camera when he did it lol! The other cute thing about this picture is that he is 10 1/2 months old wearing the 0-3 month outfit that we bought him in UT as his coming home from the hospital outfit - he finally fits in it!!!! He hasn't gained even an oz in 2 weeks, coming in at 16 lbs 14 oz at the moment.


We had a fun day at the park with a picnic and playtime. JJ loved being wore (well, he always loves being worn!) He is quite the snuggler:)

We have found foods that Grace can eat. There aren't many - pretty much meat and veggies. Since she doesn't like those much she is limiting herself. We've got 3 veggies she'll eat and about 6 meats. I found an oatmeal/applesauce cookie recipe so made her a batch that she gets one a day. We found out she is not gluten intolerant! That was good news:)

JJ had a sinus infection from all of the allergies resulting in congestion. He got 80% better on the first antibiotic but it came back again along with 5 days of fever. So, we are on the 2nd one. Unfortunately that one gave him diarrhea so we had to stop it yesterday. Already by today he is more congested and is running a fever again:( Tomorrow I'll have to call the Doc and get another one:( I am giving him lots of probiotics to counteract negative effects...or we'll end up with a situation like we have with Grace again...

I even got sick with a fever and terrible body aches and chills for about 24 hours. I couldn't understand why the house was cooling so well. I kept turning up the temp in the house and yet I was freezing. The rest of the family, including the baby, was sweating. Finally I realized it was me. The ibuprofen did nothing to help so finally I took an Aleve Cold and Sinus as I thought maybe the sore throat was due to allergies. It made it much better. 12 hours later though when it wore off I was in the same boat. Thankfully 12 hours after that I was better (except for the sore throat so I am gargling Colodial Silver). I was hunkered down in flannel pj's with 2 down comforters and 2 denim quilts - my family thought I was crazy lol!

Hope you are all staying cool! It sure is hot!!

The short and the very long of allergy test results...

We had allergy testing done today on the 4 youngest children. We got a lot of information. The short of it is that Superman is essentially allergy free, JJ needs to be older before more formal testing but we need to keep him away from proteins for as long as possible (eggs, milk, meat) and keep him on Claritin daily, Faith will be on allergy shots for the next several years at least, and Grace...well...Grace is allergic to lots and lots of food....

The long of it (if you care to keep reading)... I hesitate to write this but in my love for reading others' blogs I have learned that when people share information about unusual things I usually benefit from learning something I did not know before. So, in the hopes to help someone else out there in "e" land, I'll share (because I'm sure you don't really want to know this much about my family lol!!!)

We chose to go see Dr. William Sandy in Holdredge, NE. He is an Internist who is in a Family Practice there who specializes in allergies. He is a Christian and we, after asking many people about him, believed that he would hear us and not just brush away our concerns as being crazy parents:) He was excellent - we spent FOUR HOURS in consultation and testing.

I'll start with the easy one. We had Superman tested in hopes to rule out (or in) something that may be causing his difficulty with learning. What we learned is that he is very allergic to chocolate. So, a food that he gets maybe once a month is off the menu. Chocolate, however, is pretty easy to eliminate from a diet.

JJ was a bit harder. Dr. Sandy did not believe that he was old enough at this point to test for inhalant allergens. His thought was if we find out he is allergic to them he is too young for the allergy shots so why put him through it at this point. As for the food allergies, he thought that since I am nursing Jonathan and he is not being exposed to many foods yet he is would likely test non-allergic to the foods and it would not give us an accurate reading. So, we can test him in about a year. In the mean time, we are to keep him away from proteins (given his bio family history) so no eggs, dairy milk, or meat - and keep him on the Claritin or Zrtec for the congestion.

Faith was yet harder but easy to treat. She is allergic to all of the common inhalant allergens and will be on weekly shots for 16 weeks and retested for a blood level of something or another. She'll likely be on allergy shots for years. We have to check the house for mold (any idea how to do this???) and possibly, if there is water damage in her bedroom, have to recarpet and re-drywall her room. But, that is much easier than....

Grace. When Graces's food allergy results came in I was overwhelmed. I had anticipated she was allergic to milk. MILK! I thought, how will I eliminate all milk?? But then...Whew... The first thing I wondered is, "what CAN this child eat???!!!???" The second thing I thought was, "I have been feeding this child food that is causing her discomfort and most likely many of her ADHD behaviors." The third thought I had was, I'll admit, one of a bit of vengeance. I thought, "well, there you go all of you people who think that her behavior was just bad parenting!!!!!" But, I digress...

Grace is VERY allergic to...

Bananas

Soy

Oranges

Peanuts

Peaches

Strawberries

Tomatoes

and Yeast

Then we add corn, milk, eggs, pork, oats, wheat, tuna, and beef.

Dairy, Soy and Yeast - Dairy, Soy and Yeast - Dairy, Soy and Yeast --- that encompasses about everything!

In fact, the only food that did not react with her at all was white potatoes and pears. I have read the research that ADHD is often coupled with yeast overgrowth and dairy allergy - which is what precipitated us wanting to get her food allergy tested in the first place. So, the citrus fruits and the yeast did not surprise me once my brain stopped spinning (the citrus fruits because that is what we always had to look for in inmate's rooms - hot fruit and bread ferments to make hooch -- YUCK!!!).

So, I think that plain meat and plain vegetables are about what is safe. She hates meat and most vegetables. JJ CAN'T have meat. Buddy WON'T eat most of anything. My husband has a family history of diabetes and shouldn't have carbs. Yeah...just a bit overwhelmed here.

She also had a blood draw to see if she has a gluten problem - I'm not sure what to do if she can't have gluten on top of everything else.

But, I do know that God is big. He knew this from the foundations of the earth. He is Grace's creator and loves her very much. He is not surprised about this. He will faithfully show us the path. And in the mean time, maybe He will use Grace's situation to help someone else's life.

So, there you have it. The short and the very long of the latest adventure of the Elgin family:) If you have any suggestions on foods - PLEASE help me:) And if you just feel led to pray, we covet that too:)

If any of you have read this far - WOW lol!!!!!

Indecision

This week I have been second guessing so many decisions and assumptions. I am so unsure in most areas of parenting each child what the right direction is. We finally decided to have the 4 youngest children all allergy tested. I am not excited about the process but feel that we need to have some answers so we can try to eliminate those allergens from their bodies. Each of our children are so unique. They have their own strengths and their own areas where we plead with God to heal and grow them. Parenting is hard. Adoptive parenting is harder. Parenting adopted children with biological and emotional baggage is...very, very hard. We finally put JJ on an antibiotic thinking that possibly it is a sinus infection...we'll see if he shows improvement. So many questions, so little time to get things done, so very, very little sleep to help give my brain clarity...and a BIG God who has is all sorted:)

We got new carpet!!! Our orange 30 year old dirty nasty stuff is gone and the new carpet is installed. I have enjoyed organizing and getting rid of a lot of things - especially since the two oldest kids' bedrooms were involved lol! JJ loves his siblings and they love being loved on:)
Beautiful completed her 9 months of Bible Instruction Class with a "final" of being asked questions for 40 minutes in front of the church of all that they learned (along with her 9 classmates). She did very well and we are praying that God will solidify what she learned in her heart and grow much fruit. She is so precious to us!


And finally, Beautiful is playing softball again:) She is pitcher and first baseman. We LOVE watching her play and she has a passion for it. Friday she hit a home run! Besides, I'm really not athletic and if I ever tried anything like her sliding here I'd be in a wheelchair lol!

JJ and RSV

JJ has RSV. He has been sick since last Thursday with a fever and difficulty breathing. Monday he had lost 8.5 oz (since Friday) so he was hospitalized for 7 hours for IV fluids as he was refusing bottles, solids, and nursing. It is now Thursday and he has lost another 4 oz. He is nursing OK, not great. He is not eating solids or taking bottles. He is breathing better from the nebulizer treatments - so for that we are very thankful. We are praying and praying that he will get an appetite and eat. I am so glad that we went the route of nursing him since that is the only nutrition that he is getting that this point. Nursing was a tough decision (and not easy to accomplish), but was one for which we have received much blessing. With that said, it is not a topic that one usually openly discusses. I have been surprised at the numbers of people I have been able to encourage or educate about the topic...so I guess sharing "TMI" isn't always a bad thing:)

Thanks for your prayers that JJ would start to eat and gain weight:) God is good...all the time:)

pics!

We love that it is warm enough to eat on the deck again!
We sat JJ on the grass while we planted the garden and he just sat the whole time - Grace and the other kids entertained him:)

The night before Mother's Day was so calm and beautiful. We had a bonfire out by our trampoline. The kids had so much fun:)
JJ is sitting so big now! He started crawling the day before his adoption finalization:)
And...we went to my parents house for Easter. We played and laughed and had fun...in the house due to the rainy and cold weather. But...Easter Day was beautiful and the kids had fun blowing bubbles:)

ADHD

I have written this post in my head many times over the past several months. It is hard to admit when things are hard. I also desire to not embarrass my children. However, I have decided to write about living with a child with ADHD to encourage others who have children with ADHD. For those of you who have followed my blog for a time, you will probably recall comments that I make about our "wild child." We went through screaming for hours, not sleeping, bullying, energy through the roof, utter disobedience, head spinning impulsiveness, and total exhaustion. We really wanted to help her without having to resort to medication. We her her adjusted by a chiropractor monthly for 3 years. We tried lots of supplements, etc. We prayed. We disciplined. We "tomato stake" her (I read a mom's blog on this once about keeping your "difficult" children close to you at all times like one needs to constantly keep a tomato staked to help it grow to it's best potential."

We still do all of these things. But...we also added.........medication. Yes. We did it. We did the unthinkable and give our child Ritalin every day. I had such trepidation. I felt like such a failure as a mom. She was making everyone's life incredibly difficult and was bullying (physically and emotionally) her age mates that have significant abuse histories. They were regressing and beginning to act out themselves. It was time. It was necessary. I felt like I was "sacrificing" her for the sake of the family. During this a wise person told me that it probably was not very comfortable for her to be bouncing off of walls either and perhaps the medication would help her feel better about her...

He was right...

She is a totally different child on the medication. She sits for 30 - 45 minutes at a time now. She LOVES to color!!!! In the past of she sat to color she would be coloring on everyone else's pages, flipping through her book all of the time not finishing a page. Of course getting up all of the time and running around. She doesn't hit the other children as often now. She is more "motherly" and gentle. We have discovered that art is an area of giftedness for her. She draws things that actually look like what she is trying to draw lol! She colors beautifully. She is clearly calmer and feels better about herself (not to mention she isn't being disciplined every 5 minutes - that must help lol!!) I will admit that she continues to be the child we have to keep our eye on the most lol!

For those of you wondering what we have done...here you go.
1) We maintain chiropractor visits every 1 - 2 months. This helps.
2) We have her on many supplements:
Ambrotose, Phyte Aloe, Acidophilus, Multi-vitamin, Vitamin C, an anti-fungal to kill fungal/yeast overgrowth in her gut (grapefruit seed extract), and the most important...DHA. We have her on 1100 mg of DHA a day. When she first started the DHA we noticed that if we said "smile for the picture" she actually smiled long enough to get the picture taken instead of getting distracted and running off right away or fighting us. And, while we are waiting for these things to work on her biology for long term improvement...
3) she is on Ritalin. We have her on a low dose and do it 2x a day. We tried the suspended release at the same dose but she was far more agitated on it, bedtimes included temper tantrums again, and we didn't see the calmness we saw on the immediate release. We could have upped the dose but decided to just go back to the twice daily dose and see how the summer goes.
4) I read a book from Focus on the Family called something like "ADHD doesn't have to mean Disaster." It was a very good book who helped me to see her outside of my box:)
5) we had her formally evaluated and diagnosed with ADHD...she scored out at the 95 - 99 percentile of behaviors (we knew that lol!!!)

One of the biggest lessons for me was: ADHD is REAL. I had secretly believed in the past that ADHD behaviors could be curbed with good, consistent, and thorough parenting. While I still believe that some ADHD behaviors can be fixed with that...not our child. That was very humbling...

The other big lesson for me: ADHD medication can curb impulsiveness, distractibility, and agitation...but it does not effect the strong willed personality that defines our child:) It is just that now the discipline to help her learn to submit to God's will and our will hopefully sinks in and is considered before it flies out her other ear lol!

Is life perfect now? No:) Do we still need to remind her to look at us and hear what we are saying? Yes:) Do we still need to talk extra loud to get her attention? Yes:) Do we still "tomato stake"? Absolutely yes!!!!! Do we trust her outside of our sight? A little bit more:) Does she still bully? Yes. Does she still insist on doing life her way? Of course:) But...considering what the past 3 years have looked like...this is bearable!!!

Finally, we also have been constantly reminded that God made her. He gifted her. He loves her. He has a plan for her. She is such a precious child. She has amazing gifts of art and motherliness ( in fact, it is usually her desire to "mother" the other children that results in her "making" them obey her lol!!!). We will wait on the Lord, trusting Him for each step...and being thankful that for now the medication is giving us an appreciated reprieve:)