When you want to know how a man will treat his wife, look at how he treats his mother.
My husband's mother passed away 8 days ago. That has led me to reflect on his relationship with his mother, and the excellent man he is. He always had a special bond with his mother. He felt himself to be her protector of sorts. When I have asked him if he has any regrets about the past 6 years as her caretaker, he says that he does not, that he just simply loved her where she was at and that was enough. He strongly felt that God called him to so attentively care for her, and feels glad that he got to do what he was called to do.
My husband and I met when he was 20 and I was 19. I always remember him getting his mom special gifts on her birthday/Christmas/Valentines Day, etc. She loved unicorns so a gift usually involved one of those, some flowers, and always included a DQ ice cream cake. He showed his mother love through his attentiveness to her.
He does the same for me:)
We moved away to another state, had children, couldn't travel back as much as we would have liked, but still maintained contact. He still talked with her on the phone regularly. His parents divorced about a year after we married so he became her confidant and protector. After she retired from her job he worked hard to convince her that, due to her health, it would be best for her to live with one of her remaining 3 sons to be better taken care of. She took years to decide, and eventually spent a week with each of her other sons, and 2 weeks with us, to decide where/if she wanted to move. She felt most welcomed in our home and we moved her down her the summer of 2009. In 2007/2008 she had a falling out with one of her son's after he said he would not honor her wishes of not having a funeral/other issues (after their father died and that son was in charge of his funeral). She changed the power of attorney to my husband as she knew he would honor her wishes.
So, in June of 2009 my mother in law came down in a truck driven by her other son and laden with boxes. We supplied everything else and set her up in an apartment. We were often there trying to help her get her health in a better place. We invited her over for meals and kid's activities. Then in February 2010 she slipped on some ice while getting into our van when my husband was going to take her grocery shopping and she broke her arm. Her health was very poor anyway so this development meant she could not care for herself at least while her arm was broken. She lived with us for 2 weeks and it was an eye opening experience.
First, my mother in law's health was far worse than we had realized and we got to see that up close and personal. Secondly, my mother in law completely put me to shame in terms of her attitude. She was the most unassuming, content, laid back, relaxed person I have ever known. She did not complain about anything. She was willing to just take whatever happened and smile and be happy with it. Of course, there are downsides to a personality like that (such as not taking the bull by the horns and changing the course of your life), but as a person who tends to be that kind of person (or, many may say I am the bull myself!!) it was humbling to have her be introduced into our chaotic family of 7 and just roll with it. It really touched me to see her in situations that I would feel humiliated in and she just accepted it (needing help). I began to think about what I act like when I feel out of control and need help, and how I needed to act more like her and less like...the bull in a china shop.
Two weeks into that experience we had talked and talked about her going into the nursing home for a time, then to assisted living to help her with her cares and her diet (her diabetes was very fragile and did not like to respond like it "should"). She also fell randomly and that was obviously unsafe. My husband had been working on funding, etc and we pulled it all together and got her moved. I am so glad that we had that 2 weeks of her in our home. It was utterly exhausting but a tremendous blessing.
Since that time we took her out as her health allowed and visited often. My husband spent the most time with her. He enjoyed just talking with her and being with her. To take the kids meant he and his mother's serenity was interrupted so he only took them about 1/2 the time;) So, he just loved her. 3 years ago when the process began for her first amputations he was right there. Through the past 3 years of every 1 - 3 weeks of specialist appointments for her skin breakdowns not healing, he was there advocating for her. Through the countless hospitalizations (I don't even want to try to figure out how many there were in the past 6 years), he was there loving her, advocating for her, and trying to keep her calm and knowing she was loved...that she mattered. She wasn't able to make decisions for herself. She was content to let him make those decisions, another blessing in the midst of all of this. She didn't get paranoid and fight him. It was also a blessing that his family members did not argue his decisions.
It was difficult when he had to make the decision to put her on hospice. Her skin breakdowns just weren't healing and she was in pain. Her glucose was all over the place. Her veins kept collapsing so the local hospital couldn't help her with fluids, she needed a central line. She was internally bleeding somewhere so her iron levels were very low. One or two weeks before he put her on hospice her hemoglobin got down to a 3.8! Her dementia was more and more pronounced. She was refusing meals/fluids. There are a lot of things to consider at that point personally, spiritually, medically, relationally, etc. That last week of watching her die while on hospice was difficult for him.
Yet, he faithfully loved her and was there for her. He advocated for her pain management and her comfort. He did not let things go but insisted on answers. He took care of his mom. He was her protector, her advocate, her knight...her son.
During all of this my husband has worked hard to not just be her son, but also my husband and our children's father. He has struggled at times to not feel guilty when one of those roles has taken more precedence for a season, yet he strove to keep a balance. As his wife, I never ever felt neglected. I always knew that what he was doing for his mother was what he should be doing. I always knew, that he would do the same for me or our children if the situation arises.
Even in the midst of the last 6 weeks of her life with 4 hospitalizations and the hospice, he has tried to balance us all and be attentive. There are many examples that I will keep close to my heart of how he has tried to make sure that I knew that I am also his priority. I have been very touched by how hard he has tried, and succeeded, in doing this.
I am also thankful for what he has modeled for our children. He has shown them the Biblical example of how to care for one's parents, or spouse, or any loved one: for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do you part.
He honored his mother's wishes and had her cremated and did not have a funeral. Next week we will have a memorial service and then drive to her home state to bury her ashes on one of her son's graves.
He is a great husband. He is a great son. He is a great father. He is a great man. He is a most excellent man. He is the best of men. I am blessed to be his wife.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Too many balls in the air!
Ball 1: My mother in law is not doing well. We put her in hospice yesterday. We know that it will be a blessing when she passes. She has so incredibly many complications with her medical issues (all diabetes related - diabetes is a terrible disease!) She has dementia. She started to refused to eat and drink so we are taking the cue to just let her go. We cannot force treatment anyway.
We debated at length about if the kids should go and see her or not. My husband did not think the kids should see her - especially how she was on Tuesday. She was unresponsive most of the time, but at the end of the night punched him as her sundowners took over and her combativeness began. We had just spent time with her the previous week - a brief time between hospitalizations when she was up and alert and able to hold a relatively ordinary conversation. But, we decided yesterday to let the kids come up and say goodbye to her. They really don't know her any other way than in the nursing home (since 2010), multiple hospitalizations, often not knowing who they are, etc. She has always had such a gentle and welcoming spirit though and is always ready with a smile. She is not a complainer. That is a trait that I wish I could emulate better - I must say that my stress level is currently such that I fear opening my mouth because not much positive comes out. I am pretty much utterly overwhelmed. So, I have tried to avoid posting on fb or making other chit chat as my dad taught me that if I didn't have something nice to say I should say nothing at all! Why am I blogging then? Partly because if I can't speak I still need to get the words out...partly because blogging helps me to unravel my thoughts and put them in some kind of categories and logic. Sometimes.
I totally digressed there. I am afraid this post will involve many bunny trails.
So, last night all 8 of us went up to see my mother in law. My husband was already there and he was uncomfortable when we got there. The problem is that my mother in law thinks that my husband is her ...husband. She believed that she was in the hospital and they just had a baby girl. She was thrilled that so many people came to see her and the baby girl. She was laughing and giggling. When words came out of her mouth that were actually words and not gibberish we all didn't know what to say so we just smiled and agreed. That resulted in my husband being a little (jokingly) frustrated with me when she told me to talk to her husband, I asked where he was, she pointed at my husband, and I just agreed. I am not good with words right now and don't think that I am describing the visit well, but we were all laughing. We were all poking fun at my husband. He was very good natured about it and laughing too - nothing was mean spirited about any of it. We were not laughing at my mother in law. It was just probably the best way to deal with the tension and the reality. My husband is torn between wanting to spend this last time with his mother and being really creeped out at her insistence that he is her husband. We laugh a lot that he doesn't even look like his dad did. I am not being irreverent, really. We were so thankful that the visit was light and full of laughter as a last memory for the kids. I don't know if we will go up there again as a family. We will let the kids decide if they want to go or not. JJ loves to go up and see his grandma and didn't really notice that anything is different. She hasn't been able to have real conversations for a long time anyway so he just sees it as getting to say hello and be "busy" in her room. The Middles - it is a little different. They have already had more loss and abandonment and rejection than anyone should have to have. Grace is still quite traumatized by her aunt dying Memorial Day 2014 and all of the grief with that loss (and that she hasn't gotten to see her bio family since then). Superman and Faith are just - quiet. Like usual. It is hard to get them to put emotions into words. Buddy is matter of fact and not relational so he is fine. Beautiful is struggling with death, loss of a grandma right before her wedding, loss of us as parents being focused on her wedding as we are dealing with this trauma, etc. It has probably been the hardest on her, and Grace. We have taken the opportunity to use this to discuss the importance of having a saving faith in Jesus and what the reality of death is about.
Alright, that was quite enough of that topic I think...
Ball 2: The Wedding There is really no way for me to even put any of it into words. IT IS LESS THAN ONE MONTH AWAY!!!! I am stressed. overwhelmed. afraid that it will not be pulled together in time. frantic that I am forgetting huge details that will make this all a disaster. and reminded constantly that this.is.not.my.giftedness!!!! Stomach in knots. Crazy. Despite what is happening with my mother in law we still have to keep moving this forward. My husband needed a break from 3 days in the hospital and with his mom is as "stable" as she can be for now he and Buddy took off for Menards (and other stores) to try to restore his equilibrium lol! He loves to shop. I would rather do almost anything than shop. Ugg. If she still remains stable tomorrow we will be heading to another town to get the boys' suits, all of the kids dress shoes, all of the paper products, etc. Again...Uggg.
A friend came over last night and made the bouquets for us. She is so amazingly talented and I am.so.thankful!
Ball 3: Letting Go
I don't like this ball any more than the others. I hate letting go of Beautiful. If I stop and think about it too long I start to cry. So, I will keep this short. I am so happy for her. I am so proud of her. I am so thrilled for the next adventure of her life. But I will miss her fiercely. She is my Beloved, my First Born. I refuse to be one of the "those" mother in laws...but boy will this be tough for me! We keep trying to have as much time together as possible, but between my mother in law, the wedding plans, work, the other 5 kids, and Beautiful working 6 days a week from noon to 8 lifeguarding we don't see her much. I wonder if it will be this hard with all of the kids? I feel like by the time JJ is gone we will be in the nursing home lol!
Ball 4: Grace
Grace, Grace, Grace. About a month ago we doubled her ADHD medication and added a sleeping pill again. We have also retested her neurotransmitters and will see if she needs another supplement. We are hoping that there will be more nutraceuticals she can take to help more. The current plan is certainly helping. ADHD is a terrible disorder too:( We have discovered more holes in her walls - one of them all the way to the outside. My husband was not happy with all of the repairs that he will need to make to that room. I deep cleaned every corner of her room last week and took out all of the objects she was using to make the holes. She still sneaks them in there but I will just have to keep on top of it.
Ball 5: My Back
I really hurt my back again. It seems to have been around the time I helped at camp but I can't think of any specific incident that would have hurt it again (that probably answers if I will help at camp again if asked). The pain was getting pretty bad again and I absolutely cannot even bear to think about the pain getting back to the level it was at in July 2010 when I was first diagnosed with the herniated disk and started traction...6 weeks before JJ came. I look back to that time and shudder. In the past 5 years I have regularly gone to the chiropractor and continued traction - but it has not been nearly as regular. I will make sure I get back into a routine. I have had traction and an adjustment twice in the past 4 weeks - once being yesterday when the pain was down my leg and I struggled walking. I am MUCH better today. I have learned over the years what things I cannot do (NEVER sit on a floor, not sit in recliners, no walking inclines, no jumping, not sit with my legs out in front of me, etc). Ironically those things hurt me far, far worse than carrying our now 45 lb 4 year old. Odd. Thankfully JJ rarely wants to be carried anymore - yay!! So, I am just dealing with pain and trying to be very careful:)
Ball 6: JJ
This one is a little happier and I will end on this note:) JJ is doing great! He still has his temper tantrums that are crazy. They are not as frequent. He is eating well. Talking better - the SPL is very, very pleased with his progress. I keep thinking that he is quite understandable compared to 6 months ago, but we have had the opportunity to be around a variety of people lately and most of the time they do not understand him. So...progress but still a long way to go:)
The music therapy has been, I think, a key part to his improvement. That is common with kids with Apraxia. He still hangs back and won't engage much with the other kids and sits on me rather than in the group. I have taken Faith with twice and she got him to engage so will keep doing that and try to back out a bit. He needs the social interaction.
An aside - I have thought a lot about this, but will only briefly mention here, how much being in the music therapy class with all of those other kids with speech/language issues - has helped me to see JJ's issues more clearly. One of those issues is that those other kids have speech issues but do not have the severe separation anxiety that JJ has. I have thought a lot that his anxiety was due to people not understanding him so he looks to me a lot to answer for him (or he can't "retrieve" the word to say). But he just plan and simple has severe anxiety around strangers. Immobilizes him. Praise the Lord we home school him and he doesn't have to go to a situation every day that terrifies him! He really relaxes with the music too:)
The biggest blessing (and frustration to be utterly honest) is sleep. Sleep has always been such a problem for him and with all of the Apraxia symptoms we didn't know how sleep fit. Well, it must have been all related because now that his brain is finally "waking up" and he is improving so quickly...sleep is most definitely being affected too. So, that means that he is now waking between 6 and 8 a.m. most days of the week. The other days it is closer to 8 - 10, but most days it is early. However, this does NOT mean that he goes to sleep any earlier. Thus, I get 5 - 6 hours of sleep:( AND, for some reason he is waking more in the night which means that while we had a 3 week period in May/June that he slept in his own bed ALL NIGHT (Oh, what sweet restorative sleep that was for me!!) he is now up and in our bed often by 2:30 a.m. If I actually get out of bed and take him back to his bed he is back by 5.
The up side is that he is eating earlier in the day without being nauseated! yay!
Clearly his brain is waking up and he is making awesome neurological connections! yay!
When we have to wake up early for something (church or therapy) he isn't sick any more (well, actually, he usually is up on his own way before that now and doesn't have to be woke up). But still, yay!!!
When he fell asleep in the car on the way to therapy this week (he woke up at 6 a.m. after sleeping less than 6 hours) and I had to wake him up...listen to me be giddy here...HE WOKE UP AND DID WELL!!!!!. If you remember back to session 3 and my description of him falling asleep before we got there and his typical reaction of being woke up you may understand how happy this makes me. I cannot even go on enough about what a major, major development this is for him. Ecstatic I am! I can practically see his little neurons joining, making memories, and learning lol!
The down side is that I am not getting good sleep. But, that is certainly not a new development in the past 5 years lol! Once I am woke up at night I cannot fall asleep for all of the "to do" lists and "what are we going to do about that" discussions that run through my brain.
So, that is that. We have been eating subway, pizza, PB&J (actually, i never made PB&J for my kids but somehow Superman discovered at camp that he loves it so has been begging for it lol!), and whatever can be thrown together. I really need to do some better meal planning but I just can't wrap my head around it. I have a roast in for supper tonight - that will be helpful.
I am hoping against hope that I can get a nap while the 4 watch a movie without causing chaos this afternoon. Hopefully I can sleep and not be worried about what they are doing...
Superman has finished his undefeated baseball season!!!!! We have the tournament this Saturday and Sunday...in the 90 degree weather;) It will be great lol!
We debated at length about if the kids should go and see her or not. My husband did not think the kids should see her - especially how she was on Tuesday. She was unresponsive most of the time, but at the end of the night punched him as her sundowners took over and her combativeness began. We had just spent time with her the previous week - a brief time between hospitalizations when she was up and alert and able to hold a relatively ordinary conversation. But, we decided yesterday to let the kids come up and say goodbye to her. They really don't know her any other way than in the nursing home (since 2010), multiple hospitalizations, often not knowing who they are, etc. She has always had such a gentle and welcoming spirit though and is always ready with a smile. She is not a complainer. That is a trait that I wish I could emulate better - I must say that my stress level is currently such that I fear opening my mouth because not much positive comes out. I am pretty much utterly overwhelmed. So, I have tried to avoid posting on fb or making other chit chat as my dad taught me that if I didn't have something nice to say I should say nothing at all! Why am I blogging then? Partly because if I can't speak I still need to get the words out...partly because blogging helps me to unravel my thoughts and put them in some kind of categories and logic. Sometimes.
I totally digressed there. I am afraid this post will involve many bunny trails.
So, last night all 8 of us went up to see my mother in law. My husband was already there and he was uncomfortable when we got there. The problem is that my mother in law thinks that my husband is her ...husband. She believed that she was in the hospital and they just had a baby girl. She was thrilled that so many people came to see her and the baby girl. She was laughing and giggling. When words came out of her mouth that were actually words and not gibberish we all didn't know what to say so we just smiled and agreed. That resulted in my husband being a little (jokingly) frustrated with me when she told me to talk to her husband, I asked where he was, she pointed at my husband, and I just agreed. I am not good with words right now and don't think that I am describing the visit well, but we were all laughing. We were all poking fun at my husband. He was very good natured about it and laughing too - nothing was mean spirited about any of it. We were not laughing at my mother in law. It was just probably the best way to deal with the tension and the reality. My husband is torn between wanting to spend this last time with his mother and being really creeped out at her insistence that he is her husband. We laugh a lot that he doesn't even look like his dad did. I am not being irreverent, really. We were so thankful that the visit was light and full of laughter as a last memory for the kids. I don't know if we will go up there again as a family. We will let the kids decide if they want to go or not. JJ loves to go up and see his grandma and didn't really notice that anything is different. She hasn't been able to have real conversations for a long time anyway so he just sees it as getting to say hello and be "busy" in her room. The Middles - it is a little different. They have already had more loss and abandonment and rejection than anyone should have to have. Grace is still quite traumatized by her aunt dying Memorial Day 2014 and all of the grief with that loss (and that she hasn't gotten to see her bio family since then). Superman and Faith are just - quiet. Like usual. It is hard to get them to put emotions into words. Buddy is matter of fact and not relational so he is fine. Beautiful is struggling with death, loss of a grandma right before her wedding, loss of us as parents being focused on her wedding as we are dealing with this trauma, etc. It has probably been the hardest on her, and Grace. We have taken the opportunity to use this to discuss the importance of having a saving faith in Jesus and what the reality of death is about.
Alright, that was quite enough of that topic I think...
Ball 2: The Wedding There is really no way for me to even put any of it into words. IT IS LESS THAN ONE MONTH AWAY!!!! I am stressed. overwhelmed. afraid that it will not be pulled together in time. frantic that I am forgetting huge details that will make this all a disaster. and reminded constantly that this.is.not.my.giftedness!!!! Stomach in knots. Crazy. Despite what is happening with my mother in law we still have to keep moving this forward. My husband needed a break from 3 days in the hospital and with his mom is as "stable" as she can be for now he and Buddy took off for Menards (and other stores) to try to restore his equilibrium lol! He loves to shop. I would rather do almost anything than shop. Ugg. If she still remains stable tomorrow we will be heading to another town to get the boys' suits, all of the kids dress shoes, all of the paper products, etc. Again...Uggg.
A friend came over last night and made the bouquets for us. She is so amazingly talented and I am.so.thankful!
Ball 3: Letting Go
I don't like this ball any more than the others. I hate letting go of Beautiful. If I stop and think about it too long I start to cry. So, I will keep this short. I am so happy for her. I am so proud of her. I am so thrilled for the next adventure of her life. But I will miss her fiercely. She is my Beloved, my First Born. I refuse to be one of the "those" mother in laws...but boy will this be tough for me! We keep trying to have as much time together as possible, but between my mother in law, the wedding plans, work, the other 5 kids, and Beautiful working 6 days a week from noon to 8 lifeguarding we don't see her much. I wonder if it will be this hard with all of the kids? I feel like by the time JJ is gone we will be in the nursing home lol!
Ball 4: Grace
Grace, Grace, Grace. About a month ago we doubled her ADHD medication and added a sleeping pill again. We have also retested her neurotransmitters and will see if she needs another supplement. We are hoping that there will be more nutraceuticals she can take to help more. The current plan is certainly helping. ADHD is a terrible disorder too:( We have discovered more holes in her walls - one of them all the way to the outside. My husband was not happy with all of the repairs that he will need to make to that room. I deep cleaned every corner of her room last week and took out all of the objects she was using to make the holes. She still sneaks them in there but I will just have to keep on top of it.
Ball 5: My Back
I really hurt my back again. It seems to have been around the time I helped at camp but I can't think of any specific incident that would have hurt it again (that probably answers if I will help at camp again if asked). The pain was getting pretty bad again and I absolutely cannot even bear to think about the pain getting back to the level it was at in July 2010 when I was first diagnosed with the herniated disk and started traction...6 weeks before JJ came. I look back to that time and shudder. In the past 5 years I have regularly gone to the chiropractor and continued traction - but it has not been nearly as regular. I will make sure I get back into a routine. I have had traction and an adjustment twice in the past 4 weeks - once being yesterday when the pain was down my leg and I struggled walking. I am MUCH better today. I have learned over the years what things I cannot do (NEVER sit on a floor, not sit in recliners, no walking inclines, no jumping, not sit with my legs out in front of me, etc). Ironically those things hurt me far, far worse than carrying our now 45 lb 4 year old. Odd. Thankfully JJ rarely wants to be carried anymore - yay!! So, I am just dealing with pain and trying to be very careful:)
Ball 6: JJ
This one is a little happier and I will end on this note:) JJ is doing great! He still has his temper tantrums that are crazy. They are not as frequent. He is eating well. Talking better - the SPL is very, very pleased with his progress. I keep thinking that he is quite understandable compared to 6 months ago, but we have had the opportunity to be around a variety of people lately and most of the time they do not understand him. So...progress but still a long way to go:)
The music therapy has been, I think, a key part to his improvement. That is common with kids with Apraxia. He still hangs back and won't engage much with the other kids and sits on me rather than in the group. I have taken Faith with twice and she got him to engage so will keep doing that and try to back out a bit. He needs the social interaction.
An aside - I have thought a lot about this, but will only briefly mention here, how much being in the music therapy class with all of those other kids with speech/language issues - has helped me to see JJ's issues more clearly. One of those issues is that those other kids have speech issues but do not have the severe separation anxiety that JJ has. I have thought a lot that his anxiety was due to people not understanding him so he looks to me a lot to answer for him (or he can't "retrieve" the word to say). But he just plan and simple has severe anxiety around strangers. Immobilizes him. Praise the Lord we home school him and he doesn't have to go to a situation every day that terrifies him! He really relaxes with the music too:)
The biggest blessing (and frustration to be utterly honest) is sleep. Sleep has always been such a problem for him and with all of the Apraxia symptoms we didn't know how sleep fit. Well, it must have been all related because now that his brain is finally "waking up" and he is improving so quickly...sleep is most definitely being affected too. So, that means that he is now waking between 6 and 8 a.m. most days of the week. The other days it is closer to 8 - 10, but most days it is early. However, this does NOT mean that he goes to sleep any earlier. Thus, I get 5 - 6 hours of sleep:( AND, for some reason he is waking more in the night which means that while we had a 3 week period in May/June that he slept in his own bed ALL NIGHT (Oh, what sweet restorative sleep that was for me!!) he is now up and in our bed often by 2:30 a.m. If I actually get out of bed and take him back to his bed he is back by 5.
The up side is that he is eating earlier in the day without being nauseated! yay!
Clearly his brain is waking up and he is making awesome neurological connections! yay!
When we have to wake up early for something (church or therapy) he isn't sick any more (well, actually, he usually is up on his own way before that now and doesn't have to be woke up). But still, yay!!!
When he fell asleep in the car on the way to therapy this week (he woke up at 6 a.m. after sleeping less than 6 hours) and I had to wake him up...listen to me be giddy here...HE WOKE UP AND DID WELL!!!!!. If you remember back to session 3 and my description of him falling asleep before we got there and his typical reaction of being woke up you may understand how happy this makes me. I cannot even go on enough about what a major, major development this is for him. Ecstatic I am! I can practically see his little neurons joining, making memories, and learning lol!
The down side is that I am not getting good sleep. But, that is certainly not a new development in the past 5 years lol! Once I am woke up at night I cannot fall asleep for all of the "to do" lists and "what are we going to do about that" discussions that run through my brain.
So, that is that. We have been eating subway, pizza, PB&J (actually, i never made PB&J for my kids but somehow Superman discovered at camp that he loves it so has been begging for it lol!), and whatever can be thrown together. I really need to do some better meal planning but I just can't wrap my head around it. I have a roast in for supper tonight - that will be helpful.
I am hoping against hope that I can get a nap while the 4 watch a movie without causing chaos this afternoon. Hopefully I can sleep and not be worried about what they are doing...
Superman has finished his undefeated baseball season!!!!! We have the tournament this Saturday and Sunday...in the 90 degree weather;) It will be great lol!
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