Drama. I am getting tired of drama. This is a split post between my current medical drama, and Grace's drama. See? Too.Much.Drama.
Medically? I have finished 7 months of Lyme Disease treatment. For the most part labs are looking better, many of the symptoms are better, and I am moving in the right direction. However, I had Covid in December and the viral load kicked up the other viral issues I am dealing with (like Epstein Barr) and my central nervous system decided to kick "on" to fight/flight mode and I am not a fan. I have not been sleeping and my pain levels are high. This week is the highest they have been in a long time. Sometimes - (usually in the evenings after I have been using my back all day) I will move wrong and involuntary let out a scream - kind of pain. Not a fan. So yesterday I had injections of some kind directly into the nerve in my back that isn't being nice to me. I was really nervous about it but quite honestly the pain of 6 injections into my nerve was far less than my daily pain so it was ok:) So far I am not noticing any improvement but I was too nervous about the injections to stop and ask what I was supposed to expect lol! It isn't a "one and done" kind of injection so more will follow. In hindsight I should have asked more questions - but when they said it could help and I have been reduced to minimal movement I was just jumping at the chance of any relief. On top of that, the IV medication I have been on for months every 1-2 weeks is in a national shortage and can only now be used in ICU's. So... I cannot get the medication that was giving me the most relief. I am taking some other meds in place of it but they are not as effective as the IV's.
I also had two other interventions that they said would help with the viral loads and calming down my sympathetic nervous system. I was started on three new medications, but was only able to take one last night. Yet, for the first time in a month I was able to actually deep sleep for longer than 15-45 minutes total for the night (I love my iwatch and how it can measure all of those lovely sleep/heart rate/respiration/etc facts for me). I woke up at 6 a.m. today energetic and ready for the day. It felt good! By noon I was dragging, but I had 6 hours of good productivity:) I start a nerve pain medication today that is supposed to help until the injections can do their job so I am hopeful. 14 years of chronic back pain has been hard, but it is getting unmanageable. The cause of the current pain is not the cause of the pain 14 years ago though. My goal is to get to go hiking again this summer. There is no way I could do it now, but it is my goal:) I still can't walk 2 miles which even 4 months ago was the least of my exercise for the day. Of course, being able to play with and hold my grandchildren is also my goal;)
As for Grace. She has made choices that have resulted in people being upset with her. Lying, exaggerating, spreading rumors, etc have made peers upset. To the point that last week there was a physical altercation that resulted in slight injuries for Grace, and Wednesday there was another physical altercation with the same girl that resulted in Grace being taken via ambulance to Children's Hospital where she was assessed and treated for 24 hours before being released. I absolutely do not want to blame the victim here, no one deserves to be assaulted. However, Grace was not innocent in the situation and in a setting were people (including Grace) have extremely poor impulse control? This was not a surprise. Grace is now having very unfortunate natural consequences for her choices. We are hoping she learns something from it (yes, the other girl is being charged with both assaults. Again, Grace did not deserve to be assaulted, but she was not innocent in the situation and we are worried that someday someone who is actually bigger than Grace will take offense to her and really hurt her if she does not learn to stop speaking untruths). Seeing Grace in the ER (she was in a single room) along with the Family Teacher allowed us to have a long conversation with Grace and her FT about where my husband I stand with the current situation, we got to again express our heartbreak at what Grace did while she was at home making false accusations against us, and we were able to tell her that it confuses us when she worked so hard to get out of our house but then when things are hard/scary she is begging for us to be there for her.
So, drama with my pain, and poor sleep, and viral loads. Drama with 24 hours in the ER. Drama with waiting to see next week if she will need surgery to repair possible damage. Drama with national shortages of medications. Drama with kids making poor choices. Drama with what pursing assault charges will look like navigating the juvenile criminal justice system.
But, also hope. Hope that medically things may be going in the right direction. Hope that maybe this terrible situation will wake Grace up to realities. Hope is good:)
