His Grace is Enough

I have been contemplating grace lately - I am thinking about how I am feeling a lack of grace from people coming my way...and how I have been less than gracious to others.

Lately I have felt misunderstood. Our choices, as expected, look different on the outside to people who do not understand, or take the time to understand, our family. This has felt lonely. I have felt very few people pressing in to really "know" our family (nor have I had the time to cultivate relationships at this season of life). However, God has gently reminded me that many, many times my husband and I have not shown others grace either. Most poignantly I recall our dear friends whom we misunderstood both in their Faith and in their family size. They, I know, felt misunderstood by us. Yet, they were our biggest cheerleaders when we came to faith and have always been supportive of our family being larger than "2.2 children." They handled our lack of grace towards them maturely, and now it is my turn to handle this well.
I've had this blog post rolling around in my head for some months now, and decided to finally take the time to share it.

When people don't understand why we would have SIX! children...His grace is enough
When people don't understand why "only six???"...His grace is enough
When I think "what was I thinking?!?!?!?!...His grace is enough

When people don't understand what parenting children with prenatal "stuff" is like...His grace is enough.
When I am heartbroken and at my wits end about how to parent/teach children who have prenatal "stuff"...His grace is enough.

When people don't understand what parenting children who have seen terrible things is like...His grace is enough.
When I have no idea what the best parenting intervention is for kids who have deeper wounds than I can comprehend...His grace is enough

When people think we need to be more strict in our parenting...His grace is enough
When people think we need to be less strict in our parenting...His grace is enough

When people don't understand what parenting our teen/preteen is like...His grace is enough
When I don't understand our teen/preteen...His grace is enough

When people think we need to be in a certain Christian "box" that we are not maintaining...His grace is enough
When I feel inferior because I can no longer maintain my previous beliefs about the "Christian Box"...His grace is enough

When people look disapprovingly at us because we don't put the baby in the nursery at church because every time he goes he gets sick...and he never wants to be away from us...His grace is enough
During long nights when he doesn't want to be away from us and sleep by himself...His grace is enough

When people think "Oh no..."they" are coming with all those kids this is going to be hard"...His grace is enough
When I think "Oh no...we can't possibly do that because of the children's misbehaviors"...His grace is enough

When I have said "don't do _____________!!!!" for the 5987th time and it happens again 2 minutes later...His grace is enough
When God has told me "Don't do that" for the 5987th time and I do it again...His grace is enough

When others "talk" about how I need to be doing "more" in ministry, etc...His grace is enough
When I feel like there is not enough time to do well all of the things I want to do well...His grace is enough
When I am overwhelmed and climb into my hole and am totally unproductive except for replenishing my brain...His grace is enough

When I think about the trajectory that each of my children are on and worry...His grace is enough
When I think about the trajectory of this culture/world and the logical conclusions...His grace is enough

When other accuse me of the good I should have done and didn't...His grace is enough
When I know the good I ought to do and don't do it...His grace is enough

When I contemplate the endless array of decisions that need to be made: keep foster care license of not, go on a family vacation or not, to do housework or to just "be" with the kids, to cook something healthy for supper or to eat left overs, put money toward retirement...or college fund, read a book or take a nap, go on a date with my husband and regroup or save the headache of coming home to chaos, spend time with a friend to get a bit of replenishing or with a child and pour out more of myself I am in need of being reminded that His grace is enough.

Because His grace is enough... "I" am enough for I am a child of God, created in His image for His glory. While I am a pathetic vessel riddled with pain, insecurities, selfishness, and sin I am enough for Him. I am loveable...I am loved. Not because of who "I" am but because of who "He" is...because...His grace is enough!