Exercise: I exercised 6 out of 7 days. I had a crazy busy work week so gave myself 1 night off as I was exhausted. I have lost 8 lbs so far. I am 3 lbs away from my original goal that I had hoped to meet in 12 weeks. Hopefully I will get those 3 off and then I can work on the next goal, which will be another 12 lbs after that. I figure if I keep taking it in small steps I will feel like I am making progress;) I am tempted not to put my goals on here in case I don't make them, but I need the accountability. I reserve the right to say that gained muscle weight lol!
Clean Eating: it is easier and easier. I am not near as hungry as I used to be. Whether that is from healthier food, increasing my water intake from 2 quarts to 1 gallon a day (which is a pain when I work 12 hours back to back with no breaks lol!), or the exercising (I was very hungry the day after I didn't exercise..odd). Yesterday I made diabetic friendly real blueberry muffins made with Xylitol and ate several. It was the first "bread" I've let myself eat in 3 weeks. I am not going carb free, just healthier carbs. I have had some moments when I have gotten cravings. I try to stay ahead of it by not letting myself get hungry by eating a lot of fruit, or by going to my room for awhile and working on organizing to keep my away from the kitchen until I gain back some better control.
Family Prayer: We have again tweaked the system and it seems to be working better to be sure our whole list of prayer items get prayed through in every day.
Bible Reading: I did not get 6 weeks worth of reading done this week like I did last week, but I did continue to make progress:) time was super crunched this week working 12 hours more than I am used to, but I know my schedule waxes and wanes and I won't beat myself up about it.
On to week four...
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Resolution: Finished Week Two of Twelve!
For accountability purposes I will report out every week how I have done with my Resolution.
1) I have exercised every day. There is a "core" workout and an "intensive" workout. I have done the "core" every day and the "intensive" 5 days a week.
I have lost 5 lbs so far. I know that weight comes off faster at the beginning but it is helping me to stay motivated.
I am also not sore anymore! Bonus lol!
2) Clean eating: I have been really good about the clean eating. I have been out to eat twice and chose healthy options like fruit and grilled chicken. I drink protein shakes 2 meals a day (usually) and eat only fresh fruit and mixed nuts for snacks. I am learning to stay ahead of the hunger so I am less tempted to cheat. I have discovered that my biggest problem is actually JJ. When he doesn't finish his food I can't stand throwing it away so I will finish it. I did not let myself do that more than once this 2 weeks. I even threw away an entire ice cream cone! I am actually surprised at how much LESS hungry I am than I was before.
One day I ate a not as healthy meal (our anniversary meal out where JJ ate my healthy food I ordered and I ended up with his food of broiled fish and linguine lol). I could not believe how lethargic and yucky I felt after the meal. It, too, was a good motivator to stick with the clean eating.
3) Family Prayers: admittedly this area is improving...but not at optimal...
4) Bible Reading: I got up 6 weeks worth of reading. I hope to be caught up in the next couple of weeks.
I know that now is the time when I will get tempted to skip days so this extra level of public accountability will be an important motivator for me:)
1) I have exercised every day. There is a "core" workout and an "intensive" workout. I have done the "core" every day and the "intensive" 5 days a week.
I have lost 5 lbs so far. I know that weight comes off faster at the beginning but it is helping me to stay motivated.
I am also not sore anymore! Bonus lol!
2) Clean eating: I have been really good about the clean eating. I have been out to eat twice and chose healthy options like fruit and grilled chicken. I drink protein shakes 2 meals a day (usually) and eat only fresh fruit and mixed nuts for snacks. I am learning to stay ahead of the hunger so I am less tempted to cheat. I have discovered that my biggest problem is actually JJ. When he doesn't finish his food I can't stand throwing it away so I will finish it. I did not let myself do that more than once this 2 weeks. I even threw away an entire ice cream cone! I am actually surprised at how much LESS hungry I am than I was before.
One day I ate a not as healthy meal (our anniversary meal out where JJ ate my healthy food I ordered and I ended up with his food of broiled fish and linguine lol). I could not believe how lethargic and yucky I felt after the meal. It, too, was a good motivator to stick with the clean eating.
3) Family Prayers: admittedly this area is improving...but not at optimal...
4) Bible Reading: I got up 6 weeks worth of reading. I hope to be caught up in the next couple of weeks.
I know that now is the time when I will get tempted to skip days so this extra level of public accountability will be an important motivator for me:)
Friday, July 22, 2016
Our 21st Anniversary Week: The Kids Gone and Home from Camp!
Today is our 21st anniversary:) We celebrated by...sending the Middles to camp all week lol! Seriously, we had a full week. We had hoped for part of Wed and all day Thursday off to do something fun but that did not really happen.
Monday and Tuesday I had my normal 12 hour days, so that was typical. Tuesday night we had a college friend's son come with 2 friend to spend the night on their way back from vacationing in another state. It was great to see him again after 4 years and catch up:) The last time I saw him he was a Freshman in high school and now he is graduated! Makes me feel old lol!
Wednesday we just barely had enough time to go to a town an hour away to go pick up our other car that we had to put a new transmission in. Not happy about the transmission thing (which is why we usually always buy new cars and drive them until they are...well used), but we had just enough time to go to Red Lobster for lunch before I had to get back for work so we made that our "anniversary dinner." We had Buddy and JJ with us and it was nice to spend time with them. Buddy is so quiet and hides away when the Middles are around, and to get him to actually go out with us is a feat (other than to a movie he wants to see;) Lunch was hilarious. JJ must be in a growth spurt and he ate, and ate, and... ate. I ordered grilled chicken trying to be healthy and JJ insisted on fish although we were pretty sure he wouldn't eat it. Mine came with shrimp (that I won't eat but he will) and I ordered fruit. So...do you see where this is going? Yes, JJ ate my chicken, fruit, and shrimp, and Buddy's mozzarella sticks, and my husband's shrimp, and some of his linguine. I got the fish lol! I do not like sea food. It is crazy to me that our two most picky eaters both really like sea food lol!
Then my husband drove home the now fixed car and I took the boys home. I stopped to have Buddy drive home and JJ yelled, "No!!!! We are all going to die!!!!" I had never driven with Buddy yet and was very pleased to find him to be a very careful driver:)
Thursday we had to take a quick trip north 35 miles for separate errands. Then he got a call from the museum he frames pictures from 75 miles the other direction saying they needed him to come get a picture ASAP to frame for a magazine article. Then I got a call to see someone at the hospital...so we finally got to see each other after supper last night. So much for our "free" day lol! Such is life.
Today, our anniversary, was also typical of our life. We got the kids picked up from camp. Faith was at horsemanship camp so she had a great time riding horses all week. But, her closing program (since she was int he 3rd group) was at the same time as Superman and Grace's closing program so we didn't see theirs at all:( It was hot, dusty, smelly, and I was reminded of why I don't camp (and yet another reminder as well of how Buddy's idiosyncrasies are really my genetics - he also would never camp lol!)
We got home and had 1 hour and 15 minutes to shower everyone, eat lunch (Beautiful came over to eat with us and to hear about the kids' camp experiences - adding in many of her own), unpack and start to wash all of their belongings, undo all of Faith's hair and wash it really good, and get ready for the Bible Study I lead for Faith, Grace, and several of their same aged friends. Bible study went well and then I was off to a town 25 minutes away to meet with a friend who moved away 18 months ago. I got to eat with her and catch up - then bring home take out for my husband and I to eat for supper and got pizza for the kids.
After supper I took 3 of the kids to the pool (I won't say more than this, but please, please be in prayer for Faith. We are having some very serious issues with her and if they are not improved may need to consider...alternatives).
Anyway, JJ was so excited to have his big brother back at the pool with him. But Superman LOVES to dive and back flip off of and experience the diving board rather than play in the shallow end. JJ asked for a life jacket and to go off the slide. After a couple of times he announced he was going to go off the diving board. Honestly, I didn't believe him, but did humor him. He has gone off the diving board twice this summer and both times it was after I hung him off of the and gently dropped him from not far above the water. He has wanted NOTHING to do with the board. But, he got right up on the diving board and jumped off with no hesitation! Then he tried to do a flip! The third time he wanted to try to do back flip. I yelled, "no!" Then I thought that I really shouldn't be trying to stop him from trying new things so amended it to, "please just don't hit your head on the board." So he jumped off backwards! He went over and over about 15 times before the pool closed, even trying a back/sideways flippy thingy. Superman models well for him:)
I will finish this with some funny thoughts about our kids and camp. It has been fun for us to pick the kids up from camp and hear what was so memorable to them. Every time we picked up Beautiful from camp it was always, "I saw deer! and turkeys! and......" every kind of animal she could possibly find out there. When she was a teenager it became about animals AND pranking other cabins (and the horses, she always did horsemanship camp).
Faith: she got the horse that Beautiful always rode at camp. She enjoyed riding and having her own camp experience since we separated her and Grace this year.
Grace: Pranking. She definitely enjoyed pranking people the most. Of course;) She came back so kind, gentle, thoughtful, and appreciative. We are hoping it lasts because it sure is precious!
Superman: Pranking. He also enjoyed the pranking. He also really liked his cabin leader who had been in foster care 3 times. It was good for him to see another man who has been in foster care and is doing well now:) Superman is a kid who has such a heart for Jesus and to serve others. We often talk with him about his being a "peacemaker" and how there is a time and a place to be a peacemaker, but also a time to set good boundaries so one is not taken advantage of - and sometimes others' need to experience the consequences of their choices and we can't always jump in and fix them or they won't learn to make better choices. Anyway, he is always aware of other's discomfort and wanting to make it better. Apparently last night the boys slept outside. Superman woke in the night and another boy was shivering and really cold...so he gave the boy his sleeping bag and just slept on the ground with his pillow. To be completely honest, I am struggling between wanting to commend him for having such a servants heart and wanting to remind him that he can't harm himself in the process (although this was the hottest week of the summer so I don't really know how cold it actually got). That struggle right there just goes to show that Superman is a far less selfish person than I am. He is a diamond in the rough:)
So, that is our anniversary week - in essence a synopsis of our life as a whole. Busy. Chaotic. Unexpected chasing. Special moments that we have to chose to stop and savor in the midst of everything else. And reminders that God is at work in our kids' hearts and we get to watch what He chooses to do, or not do, with them:)
Monday and Tuesday I had my normal 12 hour days, so that was typical. Tuesday night we had a college friend's son come with 2 friend to spend the night on their way back from vacationing in another state. It was great to see him again after 4 years and catch up:) The last time I saw him he was a Freshman in high school and now he is graduated! Makes me feel old lol!
Wednesday we just barely had enough time to go to a town an hour away to go pick up our other car that we had to put a new transmission in. Not happy about the transmission thing (which is why we usually always buy new cars and drive them until they are...well used), but we had just enough time to go to Red Lobster for lunch before I had to get back for work so we made that our "anniversary dinner." We had Buddy and JJ with us and it was nice to spend time with them. Buddy is so quiet and hides away when the Middles are around, and to get him to actually go out with us is a feat (other than to a movie he wants to see;) Lunch was hilarious. JJ must be in a growth spurt and he ate, and ate, and... ate. I ordered grilled chicken trying to be healthy and JJ insisted on fish although we were pretty sure he wouldn't eat it. Mine came with shrimp (that I won't eat but he will) and I ordered fruit. So...do you see where this is going? Yes, JJ ate my chicken, fruit, and shrimp, and Buddy's mozzarella sticks, and my husband's shrimp, and some of his linguine. I got the fish lol! I do not like sea food. It is crazy to me that our two most picky eaters both really like sea food lol!
Then my husband drove home the now fixed car and I took the boys home. I stopped to have Buddy drive home and JJ yelled, "No!!!! We are all going to die!!!!" I had never driven with Buddy yet and was very pleased to find him to be a very careful driver:)
Thursday we had to take a quick trip north 35 miles for separate errands. Then he got a call from the museum he frames pictures from 75 miles the other direction saying they needed him to come get a picture ASAP to frame for a magazine article. Then I got a call to see someone at the hospital...so we finally got to see each other after supper last night. So much for our "free" day lol! Such is life.
Today, our anniversary, was also typical of our life. We got the kids picked up from camp. Faith was at horsemanship camp so she had a great time riding horses all week. But, her closing program (since she was int he 3rd group) was at the same time as Superman and Grace's closing program so we didn't see theirs at all:( It was hot, dusty, smelly, and I was reminded of why I don't camp (and yet another reminder as well of how Buddy's idiosyncrasies are really my genetics - he also would never camp lol!)
We got home and had 1 hour and 15 minutes to shower everyone, eat lunch (Beautiful came over to eat with us and to hear about the kids' camp experiences - adding in many of her own), unpack and start to wash all of their belongings, undo all of Faith's hair and wash it really good, and get ready for the Bible Study I lead for Faith, Grace, and several of their same aged friends. Bible study went well and then I was off to a town 25 minutes away to meet with a friend who moved away 18 months ago. I got to eat with her and catch up - then bring home take out for my husband and I to eat for supper and got pizza for the kids.
After supper I took 3 of the kids to the pool (I won't say more than this, but please, please be in prayer for Faith. We are having some very serious issues with her and if they are not improved may need to consider...alternatives).
Anyway, JJ was so excited to have his big brother back at the pool with him. But Superman LOVES to dive and back flip off of and experience the diving board rather than play in the shallow end. JJ asked for a life jacket and to go off the slide. After a couple of times he announced he was going to go off the diving board. Honestly, I didn't believe him, but did humor him. He has gone off the diving board twice this summer and both times it was after I hung him off of the and gently dropped him from not far above the water. He has wanted NOTHING to do with the board. But, he got right up on the diving board and jumped off with no hesitation! Then he tried to do a flip! The third time he wanted to try to do back flip. I yelled, "no!" Then I thought that I really shouldn't be trying to stop him from trying new things so amended it to, "please just don't hit your head on the board." So he jumped off backwards! He went over and over about 15 times before the pool closed, even trying a back/sideways flippy thingy. Superman models well for him:)
I will finish this with some funny thoughts about our kids and camp. It has been fun for us to pick the kids up from camp and hear what was so memorable to them. Every time we picked up Beautiful from camp it was always, "I saw deer! and turkeys! and......" every kind of animal she could possibly find out there. When she was a teenager it became about animals AND pranking other cabins (and the horses, she always did horsemanship camp).
Faith: she got the horse that Beautiful always rode at camp. She enjoyed riding and having her own camp experience since we separated her and Grace this year.
Grace: Pranking. She definitely enjoyed pranking people the most. Of course;) She came back so kind, gentle, thoughtful, and appreciative. We are hoping it lasts because it sure is precious!
Superman: Pranking. He also enjoyed the pranking. He also really liked his cabin leader who had been in foster care 3 times. It was good for him to see another man who has been in foster care and is doing well now:) Superman is a kid who has such a heart for Jesus and to serve others. We often talk with him about his being a "peacemaker" and how there is a time and a place to be a peacemaker, but also a time to set good boundaries so one is not taken advantage of - and sometimes others' need to experience the consequences of their choices and we can't always jump in and fix them or they won't learn to make better choices. Anyway, he is always aware of other's discomfort and wanting to make it better. Apparently last night the boys slept outside. Superman woke in the night and another boy was shivering and really cold...so he gave the boy his sleeping bag and just slept on the ground with his pillow. To be completely honest, I am struggling between wanting to commend him for having such a servants heart and wanting to remind him that he can't harm himself in the process (although this was the hottest week of the summer so I don't really know how cold it actually got). That struggle right there just goes to show that Superman is a far less selfish person than I am. He is a diamond in the rough:)
So, that is our anniversary week - in essence a synopsis of our life as a whole. Busy. Chaotic. Unexpected chasing. Special moments that we have to chose to stop and savor in the midst of everything else. And reminders that God is at work in our kids' hearts and we get to watch what He chooses to do, or not do, with them:)
Friday, July 15, 2016
A New Resolution
After I successfully made it through a week without my husband and oldest son, reinforcing my already solid belief that I never ever want be a single mother (I threaten my husband often that he cannot die until they are all graduated lol!), I thought I would continue the challenge. Competition with my brother you know;) So after my brother and I discussed that I probably passed that week with a solid 50% rating of success I decided that I need to keep it up. Raise the bar a bit. Work toward that 60% rate of success.
Between that and my lower back/herniated disk/some other health issues, I decided that some things needed to change. Hence, my new Resolution. I am hoping to hit it with at least a 60% success rate. Time will tell.
1) I started a new exercise program. A program that is supposed to help strengthen my core muscles that support my lower back so that I experience less pain. Just walking on the treadmill 4-5 days a week wasn't doing that for me. I can safely say that after only 2 days of the intensive workout that 1 of 2 things are happening.
Either a) my lower back really is strengthening since I do not have any discernible pain there at all despite the typical constant presence of the pain and the additional working out or
b) The rest of my body is in so much pain that I can't discern any pain from my lower back. Quite honestly, I am thinking it is B. I cannot believe how much my body hurts. JJ had me up for 90 minutes in the middle of the night due to nasty mosquitoes bites itching him AND I am in a lot of pain. So, I took a nap this afternoon. I slept very hard and when I woke I thought it was Saturday. All the way from my bedroom up the stairs (which took a while, because stairs are my nemesis right now...along with sitting...and walking...) I thought it was Saturday. When I finally got to the top of the stairs I almost cried with relief that it is only Friday and I have an extra day to heal before church:) Best.news.today!
2) Healthy clean eating. I am having a harder time with this than the exercising. I normally don't like a lot of junk, but when I now "can't" have it it makes the temptation all that much worse. But, I have committed to 3 months of it (that is how long the program is) so I will prevail. Also, I keep thinking about my husband having diabetes and I really am just eliminating the things that he already cannot have. If he has to do it, I can do it too:)
As a side note, we all know that my cooking is not always...appreciated. Tonight I made homemade mac and cheese for the kids (fruit protein shake for me...yay!). I had given up on making homemade mac and cheese when the now teenagers discovered the boxed stuff when the middles were toddlers and then preferred that. I refuse to make the boxed stuff. But...today I made it homemade for them and...they ALL had second helpings! EVEN BUDDY!!!!! Buddy is my harshest food critic by far. He cooks for himself and I consider it a HUGE success if he eats what I make. So now I can add homemade mac and cheese to homemade pizza, fried eggs, pancakes, waffles, and spaghetti;) Of course he will eat my husband's grilled or fried chicken or steak or burgers - but I don't make those;)
Another side note, JJ must be in a massive growth spurt. He has eaten constantly for 2 days. He has eaten seconds of everything today AND eaten far more frequently than usual. Even HE loved my mac and cheese!!! We will have to measure him again soon:)
3) Family prayers. This tends to get to the back burner. We made a new system and tried it out today. I am hopeful it will work better to get everyone involved. We also started a new devotional method so I hope that will be successful as well.
4) Bible Reading. I have read through the Bible multiple times, and this year I am attempting to get it done in 1 year. I found an accountability partner in January who has been very helpful but always realistic and gracious when I am not on schedule. I do not like that I am behind so I have also resolved to get back on track with the reading schedule.
5) Chores. Since school got out we have been working on expanding the chore list for the Middles. It helps my husband's and my stress levels when we are not the only ones cleaning up after others, etc. When my husband was gone I decided to teach the Middles to clean their bathrooms. I have added doing their own laundry (except Grace...), and other household duties. The girls are being taught how to load and unload the dishwasher, and wash dishes. I am also keeping them by my side when I cook and trying to talk my way through it to teach them the why's and how's. Many of you probably have done that with your kiddos for a long time already. I did with Beautiful and Buddy. But, when we ended up with 3 toddlers at the same time, keeping them in the kitchen with me was not happening. At all. So now I am working to get the kids more involved in the kitchen and being more responsible in that way. I have to cater to their own giftedness (and attitudes) but it has been in place about a month (at least the additions to their previous chore lists) and it has been going ok. Grace likes to ask "why" a lot (e.g. why do we have to do this? what is the point? and "this is boring") which is really just putting voice to the thoughts I can see in the other's faces/body language, but they are coming around.
Things have been going better since school got out (since the Colorado trip and starting EMDR with them around that time). Attitudes and behaviors are less frequent or less difficult to correct. As a whole this has been the calmest our house has been in 10 years since the adoptions began. There is no way I will say it is "calm." But it is the calmest. Therefore, I felt it was the best time to get out of "survival mode" and start herding the family toward some more "life skills training." I hate life stuck in the mindset of "I just have to survive long enough to get to bed again and sleep." I like not cringing when a child walks in the room because it is accompanying a "she said/she said" complaint.
Oh, I forgot to mention that now any time a child comes with a "she said/she said" complaint that they are sat down at the kitchen table and only allowed to speak about themselves and their own sin/role in the conflict. They are not allowed to say a word about what the other person did (unless we ask for the purpose of clarification). They are not allowed to get up until they have both admitted to their roles in the conflict. They then must write down 5 things they like about the sibling. It is significantly cut down on the tattling and I wish I had thought of it a long time ago lol! They are still plenty naughty, but reducing the verbal barrage of hate has helped...it seems.
In a month Grace will head off to Public School and Superman and Faith will head off to the local Christian School. We are excited for this new change in our family. Next I need to get to work on the curriculum for our 2 remaining home schoolers...Buddy and JJ. A Junior and a Kindergartner. It is a good thing that Buddy is self-teaching:)
So, now that I have laid this out here I am accountable publicly as well. I hope that I hit that 60% success rate...We shall know in 3 months which is how long I am resolved to this new plan to give it a chance to become habit and work out the kinks;)
Between that and my lower back/herniated disk/some other health issues, I decided that some things needed to change. Hence, my new Resolution. I am hoping to hit it with at least a 60% success rate. Time will tell.
1) I started a new exercise program. A program that is supposed to help strengthen my core muscles that support my lower back so that I experience less pain. Just walking on the treadmill 4-5 days a week wasn't doing that for me. I can safely say that after only 2 days of the intensive workout that 1 of 2 things are happening.
Either a) my lower back really is strengthening since I do not have any discernible pain there at all despite the typical constant presence of the pain and the additional working out or
b) The rest of my body is in so much pain that I can't discern any pain from my lower back. Quite honestly, I am thinking it is B. I cannot believe how much my body hurts. JJ had me up for 90 minutes in the middle of the night due to nasty mosquitoes bites itching him AND I am in a lot of pain. So, I took a nap this afternoon. I slept very hard and when I woke I thought it was Saturday. All the way from my bedroom up the stairs (which took a while, because stairs are my nemesis right now...along with sitting...and walking...) I thought it was Saturday. When I finally got to the top of the stairs I almost cried with relief that it is only Friday and I have an extra day to heal before church:) Best.news.today!
2) Healthy clean eating. I am having a harder time with this than the exercising. I normally don't like a lot of junk, but when I now "can't" have it it makes the temptation all that much worse. But, I have committed to 3 months of it (that is how long the program is) so I will prevail. Also, I keep thinking about my husband having diabetes and I really am just eliminating the things that he already cannot have. If he has to do it, I can do it too:)
As a side note, we all know that my cooking is not always...appreciated. Tonight I made homemade mac and cheese for the kids (fruit protein shake for me...yay!). I had given up on making homemade mac and cheese when the now teenagers discovered the boxed stuff when the middles were toddlers and then preferred that. I refuse to make the boxed stuff. But...today I made it homemade for them and...they ALL had second helpings! EVEN BUDDY!!!!! Buddy is my harshest food critic by far. He cooks for himself and I consider it a HUGE success if he eats what I make. So now I can add homemade mac and cheese to homemade pizza, fried eggs, pancakes, waffles, and spaghetti;) Of course he will eat my husband's grilled or fried chicken or steak or burgers - but I don't make those;)
Another side note, JJ must be in a massive growth spurt. He has eaten constantly for 2 days. He has eaten seconds of everything today AND eaten far more frequently than usual. Even HE loved my mac and cheese!!! We will have to measure him again soon:)
3) Family prayers. This tends to get to the back burner. We made a new system and tried it out today. I am hopeful it will work better to get everyone involved. We also started a new devotional method so I hope that will be successful as well.
4) Bible Reading. I have read through the Bible multiple times, and this year I am attempting to get it done in 1 year. I found an accountability partner in January who has been very helpful but always realistic and gracious when I am not on schedule. I do not like that I am behind so I have also resolved to get back on track with the reading schedule.
5) Chores. Since school got out we have been working on expanding the chore list for the Middles. It helps my husband's and my stress levels when we are not the only ones cleaning up after others, etc. When my husband was gone I decided to teach the Middles to clean their bathrooms. I have added doing their own laundry (except Grace...), and other household duties. The girls are being taught how to load and unload the dishwasher, and wash dishes. I am also keeping them by my side when I cook and trying to talk my way through it to teach them the why's and how's. Many of you probably have done that with your kiddos for a long time already. I did with Beautiful and Buddy. But, when we ended up with 3 toddlers at the same time, keeping them in the kitchen with me was not happening. At all. So now I am working to get the kids more involved in the kitchen and being more responsible in that way. I have to cater to their own giftedness (and attitudes) but it has been in place about a month (at least the additions to their previous chore lists) and it has been going ok. Grace likes to ask "why" a lot (e.g. why do we have to do this? what is the point? and "this is boring") which is really just putting voice to the thoughts I can see in the other's faces/body language, but they are coming around.
Things have been going better since school got out (since the Colorado trip and starting EMDR with them around that time). Attitudes and behaviors are less frequent or less difficult to correct. As a whole this has been the calmest our house has been in 10 years since the adoptions began. There is no way I will say it is "calm." But it is the calmest. Therefore, I felt it was the best time to get out of "survival mode" and start herding the family toward some more "life skills training." I hate life stuck in the mindset of "I just have to survive long enough to get to bed again and sleep." I like not cringing when a child walks in the room because it is accompanying a "she said/she said" complaint.
Oh, I forgot to mention that now any time a child comes with a "she said/she said" complaint that they are sat down at the kitchen table and only allowed to speak about themselves and their own sin/role in the conflict. They are not allowed to say a word about what the other person did (unless we ask for the purpose of clarification). They are not allowed to get up until they have both admitted to their roles in the conflict. They then must write down 5 things they like about the sibling. It is significantly cut down on the tattling and I wish I had thought of it a long time ago lol! They are still plenty naughty, but reducing the verbal barrage of hate has helped...it seems.
In a month Grace will head off to Public School and Superman and Faith will head off to the local Christian School. We are excited for this new change in our family. Next I need to get to work on the curriculum for our 2 remaining home schoolers...Buddy and JJ. A Junior and a Kindergartner. It is a good thing that Buddy is self-teaching:)
So, now that I have laid this out here I am accountable publicly as well. I hope that I hit that 60% success rate...We shall know in 3 months which is how long I am resolved to this new plan to give it a chance to become habit and work out the kinks;)
Monday, July 4, 2016
I am too competitive...and it is my brother's fault;)
I am competitive. I really hate to lose. It is all because of my brother. Seriously. He is 2 years, 6 months, and 1 day younger than me. But...he is a billion times more brilliant and successful than me. If that doesn't urge a person to try to step up their game and compete I don't know what does! If you know our family personally (but have not met my brother) and have met our oldest son, Buddy, you will already have a good idea of his personality. They are so alike that Buddy would easily pass off as my brother's son. They look alike, laugh at the same jokes, talk circles around me in similar ways, and are very sarcastic in their humor while not caring that the rest of the room takes longer to catch up. They both also "get" computers - and when they start talking about them my eyes glaze over. I don't retain anything. Which means I don't learn anything. Which means that I suffer from a lot of eye rolling from my son when I can't figure something out and my brother..well...let's just say he doesn't answer my phone calls anymore because he (rightly) assumes I am calling to say HELP!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously though, my mother and her husband paid my brother and I for our report card grades. Each type of grade got a different amount. A+ got $10, A got $5, A- got $4 and so on. Obviously no money was given for anything below a B-. My brother and I always competed about our grades and how much money we could earn. To.this.day my brother is frustrated that I had a small town Spanish teacher who gave me an A+ which earned me $10 when he went to a very large high school and took advanced courses which he got over 4.0 GPA's in but on the report card he still only got an A and never an A+ (therefore only $5 and not $10;). Eh, I actually surpass him in so very little that I have to take the victories where I can. The other area I surpass him in is that I have a Doctorate and he "only" has a Masters. Not that it matters since he makes way, way, WAY more money than me (and have I mentioned that he is much more brilliant that me?). But, again, I gotta claim one-up-manship where I can!
So...when my brother, publicly on facebook no less, told me that he only thought I had a 40% chance of successfully being a single mom for a week while my husband and Buddy are at Challenge 2016 that familiar feeling in my gut of needing to show him up came to the fore. I became determined to succeed this week. Darn it.
So now I am keeping a tally in my head of all of the "points" that would up my percentage of success...and admittedly those that would lower it. Because it is a worthwhile thing to do? Of course not! It is simply because I am competitive like crazy with my brother and I need to prove that I can pass up that 40%! Even a 41% would make me feel good lol!
Saturday night the men left at 11. I got JJ to bed and he slept through the night! Score! No, that has nothing to do with me...but it meant I got a good night sleep;)
Sunday: I got the kids to church...only 2 minutes late! Taught a full Sunday School class without my husband (The Enforcer) even if the class was a little more wild and louder than usual. All 4 of the kids sat very well through church too! Then I decided to invite someone over for supper. I was sure that was going to be my downfall. I had to cook, clean, AND keep the kids from...being the kids. But I did it! Not only did I serve a decent supper (I think), I also made a peanut butter pie that I found a recipe for and had never made before (it was really delicious...and unhealthy), and had it all ready on time when our guest and Beautiful and her husband came for supper. Score!
BUT, in addition to that, I cleaned the house! Ok, I had already cleaned the upstairs for the Bible Study last Friday...but I cleaned and vacuumed the whole basement which I had procrastinated way.too.long. Admittedly that part of my house that doesn't get much attention since we only sleep there and people just shouldn't see it. But it is satisfyingly clean, um, cleaner... Score!
AND! Are you ready? I am probably the most excited that I cleaned a bathroom with the Middles watching intently...then sent them off to clean the other 2. From now on they will be cleaning bathrooms. I am very.excited;) Big score for training my kids for adulthood;)
AND! I DUSTED!!!!!!!! Yes! I hate dusting. Back when I only had 2 kids I dusted weekly. I had Bible Study at my house and it got a good cleaning before the ladies came once a week. Then...yeah...it has dropped off to about 2 to possibly 4 times a, um, year. Yeah.... But I dusted! Score!
And the kids did not kill each other despite my distraction! They had been pretty bad for 2 days, but I think that was due to the stress us oldest 3 felt packing up my husband and son for the trip. So, Sunday went well:) I will be realistic and not claim any score for that;)
Consequently, I had a lovely time with our guest despite interruptions from the kids every 90 - 120 seconds. There are people that you sit down with having not seen for years and you just pick right back up. Those are the kind of friends I need because that is about how often I get to sit down with a friend...
Anyway, then I took the kids to a fireworks show. I almost gave that up but decided the kids would like that memory so sucked it up. Thankfully we sat with Beautiful and her in-laws so they helped me contain...chaos. But afterwords I got them to bed (and got the kitchen cleaned up!) with minimal problems. (Ok, I may possibly have warned them on the way to fireworks that if they caused any trouble at the fireworks, during the going to bed process, leaving their rooms before I got up, or going in each other's rooms in the morning waking them up that they would not get ice cream the next day - hey, it worked so I am ok with that). Score!
Monday: JJ slept through the night again so when I woke with EIGHT HOURS of glorious sleep and I hopped on the treadmill while Grace asked to play outside. I discovered that she had dug out a bunch of candy to eat and climbed up on the railing with a 15 foot drop (thankfully I discovered that after the fact) to grab her goggles that "Mom! I got so excited I found me goggles that I accidentally threw them up in the gutter!" (in case you are wondering, she did lose ice cream). I got everyone fed a big breakfast (that they are always thankful for) and we headed off to a town an hour away to drop Grace off with some friends for a few days. I successfully ate at a fast food restaurant with them (for under $13-I won't think about the unhealthiness of it) AND shopped in a store (I had a $30 certificate to use)...and didn't lose any of them or have any mishaps (Did I mention that the ice cream was not given until we were LEAVING the town? ;) I think I scored big points for an outing like that lol! The only hairy moment was when we were in the restaurant and I needed to figure out how to use the restroom and keep all of my different gendered children safe at the same time I could not be in the same room with 1/2 of them. Even Superman was a bit freaked out and kept talking the rest of the day about the "sketchy" guys in the restaurant when I had to leave him outside the door.
Probably the only way I lost some percentage points was when we left the house. I realized that I forgot to make Grace a card for her open each night she was away (and she had been soooo looking forward to it)...THEN I realized I had no money with me (my husband ALWAYS handles the money. I joke with him that I make it and then hand it over to him and he is in charge from then on). Thankfully I remembered it only 1/2 block from home so turned around to take care of those 2 issues despite running 30 minutes late already so I figured I should not lose too many points for that. So...1/2 score?
And...tonight is just relaxing with the remaining 3 kids. Well, sort of. Beautiful spent the day at our house while we were gone catching up on the recordings of Shark Week since they don't have satellite TV. Then her husband came over after golfing and I fed them supper. But now they are off doing married couple things and the rest of us are relaxing;)
My husband and son were worried about a lot of things before they left and let me know exactly what they thought I would not be able to handle. Things like - getting the garbage to the curb (I remembered!), locking all of the doors at night, and making sure everything else is locked up at night. So far I have been successful with those things (it helps that I made a list of them lol!) Score!
To be fair, I feel I have to admit that JJ wanted a new game on his ipad and there was not enough storage so I had to mess with that for WAY TO LONG to figure it out (cough...over an hour. Ok, hours). So that, admittedly, loses me percentage points. My brother would have had that done in under a minute... Sigh...
Tomorrow I work 12 hours and the kids will hopefully be good for the sitters (I split the 12 hour day into 2 6 hour shifts for 2 sitters to save their sanity - one being Beautiful. Even she thinks that 6 hours will be too long... Wednesday I work 9 hours and they will be with one sitter, then I have someone getting Faith to her softball game. I will rush home long enough to feed the kids and get them to Faith's Double Header game. Thursday morning we have to be gone by 9 to go pick Grace back up.
Thursday will be the point breaker. I have plans to (if the weather cooperates and it appears that it will be extremely hot and therefore be cooperative) take the 4 kids to a water park. By myself. Yep, the rest of this week will be kids play compared to that. I am wavering on chickening out so we will see. That and I will have to find something to do for 2 hours with them before the pool opens and they may get so antsy during that time that we won't even make it to opening time before we need to go home lol! Water Parks are always a tenuous thing for us. My husband a very very healthy (unhealthy??) fear of water so if anything at all happened to the kids while I had them at a pool it would be... not good... but we all need to stretch ourselves...right? If you think I am a helicopter mom in life, it is nothing compared to at a pool:( Then Superman has a baseball tournament game that night and the men get back Friday afternoon (YAY!!!!!).
So, every situation that happens this week I mentally catalog if it increases my "success" rate or decreases it. So far I personally think I am batting over 40%. I could make the week "easy" for myself...or I could put in some extras that could boost that success rate to...gasp...possibly over 50%! A good healthy dose of competitiveness from my brother is just what I needed to push myself harder this week. I am so thankful for Ellie's special friends who offered to take her for a few days for me. And for the sitters who will watch the 3. Without them and their help (and several others who are helping me out this week) I can guarantee I would not have had even a chance of hitting that 40% - but I do have people helping and I will claim those points - just like I felt no remorse for claiming the rewards of that A+ back in 1990 lol!
Brother, thanks for always being that poke in the back I need to keep moving forward;) I couldn't do it without you (and thanks for letting me have a little fun with you in this post...you are not the only one in this family with a twisted since of humor lol! Except people may get your humor more than they get mine...gah! See, you win again! ;)
Seriously though, my mother and her husband paid my brother and I for our report card grades. Each type of grade got a different amount. A+ got $10, A got $5, A- got $4 and so on. Obviously no money was given for anything below a B-. My brother and I always competed about our grades and how much money we could earn. To.this.day my brother is frustrated that I had a small town Spanish teacher who gave me an A+ which earned me $10 when he went to a very large high school and took advanced courses which he got over 4.0 GPA's in but on the report card he still only got an A and never an A+ (therefore only $5 and not $10;). Eh, I actually surpass him in so very little that I have to take the victories where I can. The other area I surpass him in is that I have a Doctorate and he "only" has a Masters. Not that it matters since he makes way, way, WAY more money than me (and have I mentioned that he is much more brilliant that me?). But, again, I gotta claim one-up-manship where I can!
So...when my brother, publicly on facebook no less, told me that he only thought I had a 40% chance of successfully being a single mom for a week while my husband and Buddy are at Challenge 2016 that familiar feeling in my gut of needing to show him up came to the fore. I became determined to succeed this week. Darn it.
So now I am keeping a tally in my head of all of the "points" that would up my percentage of success...and admittedly those that would lower it. Because it is a worthwhile thing to do? Of course not! It is simply because I am competitive like crazy with my brother and I need to prove that I can pass up that 40%! Even a 41% would make me feel good lol!
Saturday night the men left at 11. I got JJ to bed and he slept through the night! Score! No, that has nothing to do with me...but it meant I got a good night sleep;)
Sunday: I got the kids to church...only 2 minutes late! Taught a full Sunday School class without my husband (The Enforcer) even if the class was a little more wild and louder than usual. All 4 of the kids sat very well through church too! Then I decided to invite someone over for supper. I was sure that was going to be my downfall. I had to cook, clean, AND keep the kids from...being the kids. But I did it! Not only did I serve a decent supper (I think), I also made a peanut butter pie that I found a recipe for and had never made before (it was really delicious...and unhealthy), and had it all ready on time when our guest and Beautiful and her husband came for supper. Score!
BUT, in addition to that, I cleaned the house! Ok, I had already cleaned the upstairs for the Bible Study last Friday...but I cleaned and vacuumed the whole basement which I had procrastinated way.too.long. Admittedly that part of my house that doesn't get much attention since we only sleep there and people just shouldn't see it. But it is satisfyingly clean, um, cleaner... Score!
AND! Are you ready? I am probably the most excited that I cleaned a bathroom with the Middles watching intently...then sent them off to clean the other 2. From now on they will be cleaning bathrooms. I am very.excited;) Big score for training my kids for adulthood;)
AND! I DUSTED!!!!!!!! Yes! I hate dusting. Back when I only had 2 kids I dusted weekly. I had Bible Study at my house and it got a good cleaning before the ladies came once a week. Then...yeah...it has dropped off to about 2 to possibly 4 times a, um, year. Yeah.... But I dusted! Score!
And the kids did not kill each other despite my distraction! They had been pretty bad for 2 days, but I think that was due to the stress us oldest 3 felt packing up my husband and son for the trip. So, Sunday went well:) I will be realistic and not claim any score for that;)
Consequently, I had a lovely time with our guest despite interruptions from the kids every 90 - 120 seconds. There are people that you sit down with having not seen for years and you just pick right back up. Those are the kind of friends I need because that is about how often I get to sit down with a friend...
Anyway, then I took the kids to a fireworks show. I almost gave that up but decided the kids would like that memory so sucked it up. Thankfully we sat with Beautiful and her in-laws so they helped me contain...chaos. But afterwords I got them to bed (and got the kitchen cleaned up!) with minimal problems. (Ok, I may possibly have warned them on the way to fireworks that if they caused any trouble at the fireworks, during the going to bed process, leaving their rooms before I got up, or going in each other's rooms in the morning waking them up that they would not get ice cream the next day - hey, it worked so I am ok with that). Score!
Monday: JJ slept through the night again so when I woke with EIGHT HOURS of glorious sleep and I hopped on the treadmill while Grace asked to play outside. I discovered that she had dug out a bunch of candy to eat and climbed up on the railing with a 15 foot drop (thankfully I discovered that after the fact) to grab her goggles that "Mom! I got so excited I found me goggles that I accidentally threw them up in the gutter!" (in case you are wondering, she did lose ice cream). I got everyone fed a big breakfast (that they are always thankful for) and we headed off to a town an hour away to drop Grace off with some friends for a few days. I successfully ate at a fast food restaurant with them (for under $13-I won't think about the unhealthiness of it) AND shopped in a store (I had a $30 certificate to use)...and didn't lose any of them or have any mishaps (Did I mention that the ice cream was not given until we were LEAVING the town? ;) I think I scored big points for an outing like that lol! The only hairy moment was when we were in the restaurant and I needed to figure out how to use the restroom and keep all of my different gendered children safe at the same time I could not be in the same room with 1/2 of them. Even Superman was a bit freaked out and kept talking the rest of the day about the "sketchy" guys in the restaurant when I had to leave him outside the door.
Probably the only way I lost some percentage points was when we left the house. I realized that I forgot to make Grace a card for her open each night she was away (and she had been soooo looking forward to it)...THEN I realized I had no money with me (my husband ALWAYS handles the money. I joke with him that I make it and then hand it over to him and he is in charge from then on). Thankfully I remembered it only 1/2 block from home so turned around to take care of those 2 issues despite running 30 minutes late already so I figured I should not lose too many points for that. So...1/2 score?
And...tonight is just relaxing with the remaining 3 kids. Well, sort of. Beautiful spent the day at our house while we were gone catching up on the recordings of Shark Week since they don't have satellite TV. Then her husband came over after golfing and I fed them supper. But now they are off doing married couple things and the rest of us are relaxing;)
My husband and son were worried about a lot of things before they left and let me know exactly what they thought I would not be able to handle. Things like - getting the garbage to the curb (I remembered!), locking all of the doors at night, and making sure everything else is locked up at night. So far I have been successful with those things (it helps that I made a list of them lol!) Score!
To be fair, I feel I have to admit that JJ wanted a new game on his ipad and there was not enough storage so I had to mess with that for WAY TO LONG to figure it out (cough...over an hour. Ok, hours). So that, admittedly, loses me percentage points. My brother would have had that done in under a minute... Sigh...
Tomorrow I work 12 hours and the kids will hopefully be good for the sitters (I split the 12 hour day into 2 6 hour shifts for 2 sitters to save their sanity - one being Beautiful. Even she thinks that 6 hours will be too long... Wednesday I work 9 hours and they will be with one sitter, then I have someone getting Faith to her softball game. I will rush home long enough to feed the kids and get them to Faith's Double Header game. Thursday morning we have to be gone by 9 to go pick Grace back up.
Thursday will be the point breaker. I have plans to (if the weather cooperates and it appears that it will be extremely hot and therefore be cooperative) take the 4 kids to a water park. By myself. Yep, the rest of this week will be kids play compared to that. I am wavering on chickening out so we will see. That and I will have to find something to do for 2 hours with them before the pool opens and they may get so antsy during that time that we won't even make it to opening time before we need to go home lol! Water Parks are always a tenuous thing for us. My husband a very very healthy (unhealthy??) fear of water so if anything at all happened to the kids while I had them at a pool it would be... not good... but we all need to stretch ourselves...right? If you think I am a helicopter mom in life, it is nothing compared to at a pool:( Then Superman has a baseball tournament game that night and the men get back Friday afternoon (YAY!!!!!).
So, every situation that happens this week I mentally catalog if it increases my "success" rate or decreases it. So far I personally think I am batting over 40%. I could make the week "easy" for myself...or I could put in some extras that could boost that success rate to...gasp...possibly over 50%! A good healthy dose of competitiveness from my brother is just what I needed to push myself harder this week. I am so thankful for Ellie's special friends who offered to take her for a few days for me. And for the sitters who will watch the 3. Without them and their help (and several others who are helping me out this week) I can guarantee I would not have had even a chance of hitting that 40% - but I do have people helping and I will claim those points - just like I felt no remorse for claiming the rewards of that A+ back in 1990 lol!
Brother, thanks for always being that poke in the back I need to keep moving forward;) I couldn't do it without you (and thanks for letting me have a little fun with you in this post...you are not the only one in this family with a twisted since of humor lol! Except people may get your humor more than they get mine...gah! See, you win again! ;)
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