I am too competitive...and it is my brother's fault;)

I am competitive. I really hate to lose. It is all because of my brother. Seriously. He is 2 years, 6 months, and 1 day younger than me. But...he is a billion times more brilliant and successful than me. If that doesn't urge a person to try to step up their game and compete I don't know what does! If you know our family personally (but have not met my brother) and have met our oldest son, Buddy, you will already have a good idea of his personality. They are so alike that Buddy would easily pass off as my brother's son. They look alike, laugh at the same jokes, talk circles around me in similar ways, and are very sarcastic in their humor while not caring that the rest of the room takes longer to catch up. They both also "get" computers - and when they start talking about them my eyes glaze over. I don't retain anything. Which means I don't learn anything. Which means that I suffer from a lot of eye rolling from my son when I can't figure something out and my brother..well...let's just say he doesn't answer my phone calls anymore because he (rightly) assumes I am calling to say HELP!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously though, my mother and her husband paid my brother and I for our report card grades. Each type of grade got a different amount. A+ got $10, A got $5, A- got $4 and so on. Obviously no money was given for anything below a B-. My brother and I always competed about our grades and how much money we could earn. To.this.day my brother is frustrated that I had a small town Spanish teacher who gave me an A+ which earned me $10 when he went to a very large high school and took advanced courses which he got over 4.0 GPA's in but on the report card he still only got an A and never an A+ (therefore only $5 and not $10;). Eh, I actually surpass him in so very little that I have to take the victories where I can. The other area I surpass him in is that I have a Doctorate and he "only" has a Masters. Not that it matters since he makes way, way, WAY more money than me (and have I mentioned that he is much more brilliant that me?). But, again, I gotta claim one-up-manship where I can!

So...when my brother, publicly on facebook no less, told me that he only thought I had a 40% chance of successfully being a single mom for a week while my husband and Buddy are at Challenge 2016 that familiar feeling in my gut of needing to show him up came to the fore. I became determined to succeed this week. Darn it.

So now I am keeping a tally in my head of all of the "points" that would up my percentage of success...and admittedly those that would lower it. Because it is a worthwhile thing to do? Of course not! It is simply because I am competitive like crazy with my brother and I need to prove that I can pass up that 40%!  Even a 41% would make me feel good lol!

Saturday night the men left at 11. I got JJ to bed and he slept through the night! Score! No, that has nothing to do with me...but it meant I got a good night sleep;)

Sunday: I got the kids to church...only 2 minutes late! Taught a full Sunday School class without my husband (The Enforcer) even if the class was a little more wild and louder than usual. All 4 of the kids sat very well through church too! Then I decided to invite someone over for supper. I was sure that was going to be my downfall. I had to cook, clean, AND keep the kids from...being the kids. But I did it! Not only did I serve a decent supper (I think), I also made a peanut butter pie that I found a recipe for and had never made before (it was really delicious...and unhealthy), and had it all ready on time when our guest and Beautiful and her husband came for supper. Score!

BUT, in addition to that, I cleaned the house! Ok, I had already cleaned the upstairs for the Bible Study last Friday...but I cleaned and vacuumed the whole basement which I had procrastinated way.too.long. Admittedly that part of my house that doesn't get much attention since we only sleep there and people just shouldn't see it. But it is satisfyingly clean, um, cleaner... Score!

AND! Are you ready? I am probably the most excited that I cleaned a bathroom with the Middles watching intently...then sent them off to clean the other 2. From now on they will be cleaning bathrooms. I am very.excited;) Big score for training my kids for adulthood;)

AND!  I DUSTED!!!!!!!!  Yes! I hate dusting. Back when I only had 2 kids I dusted weekly. I had Bible Study at my house and it got a good cleaning before the ladies came once a week. Then...yeah...it has dropped off to about 2  to possibly 4 times a, um, year. Yeah....  But I dusted! Score!

And the kids did not kill each other despite my distraction!  They had been pretty bad for 2 days, but I think that was due to the stress us oldest 3 felt packing up my husband and son for the trip. So, Sunday went well:) I will be realistic and not claim any score for that;)

Consequently, I had a lovely time with our guest despite interruptions from the kids every 90 - 120 seconds. There are people that you sit down with having not seen for years and you just pick right back up. Those are the kind of friends I need because that is about how often I get to sit down with a friend...

Anyway, then I took the kids to a fireworks show. I almost gave that up but decided the kids would like that memory so sucked it up. Thankfully we sat with Beautiful and her in-laws so they helped me contain...chaos. But afterwords I got them to bed (and got the kitchen cleaned up!) with minimal problems. (Ok, I may possibly have warned them on the way to fireworks that if they caused any trouble at the fireworks, during the going to bed process, leaving their rooms before I got up, or going in each other's rooms in the morning waking them up that they would not get ice cream the next day - hey, it worked so I am ok with that). Score!

Monday: JJ slept through the night again so when I woke with EIGHT HOURS of glorious sleep and I hopped on the treadmill while Grace asked to play outside. I discovered that she had dug out a bunch of candy to eat and climbed up on the railing with a 15 foot drop (thankfully I discovered that after the fact) to grab her goggles that "Mom! I got so excited I found me goggles that I accidentally threw them up in the gutter!" (in case you are wondering, she did lose ice cream). I got everyone fed a big breakfast (that they are always thankful for) and we headed off to a town an hour away to drop Grace off with some friends for a few days. I successfully ate at a fast food restaurant with them (for under $13-I won't think about the unhealthiness of it) AND shopped in a store (I had a $30 certificate to use)...and didn't lose any of them or have any mishaps (Did I mention that the ice cream was not given until we were LEAVING the town?  ;)  I think I scored big points for an outing like that lol!  The only hairy moment was when we were in the restaurant and I needed to figure out how to use the restroom and keep all of my different gendered children safe at the same time I could not be in the same room with 1/2 of them. Even Superman was a bit freaked out and kept talking the rest of the day about the "sketchy" guys in the restaurant when I had to leave him outside the door.

Probably the only way I lost some percentage points was when we left the house. I realized that I forgot to make Grace a card for her open each night she was away (and she had been soooo looking forward to it)...THEN I realized I had no money with me (my husband ALWAYS handles the money. I joke with him that I make it and then hand it over to him and he is in charge from then on). Thankfully I remembered it only 1/2 block from home so turned around to take care of those 2 issues despite running 30 minutes late already so I figured I should not lose too many points for that.  So...1/2 score?

And...tonight is just relaxing with the remaining 3 kids. Well, sort of. Beautiful spent the day at our house while we were gone catching up on the recordings of Shark Week since they don't have satellite TV. Then her husband came over after golfing and I fed them supper. But now they are off doing married couple things and the rest of us are relaxing;)

My husband and son were worried about a lot of things before they left and let me know exactly what they thought I would not be able to handle. Things like - getting the garbage to the curb (I remembered!), locking all of the doors at night, and making sure everything else is locked up at night. So far I have been successful with those things (it helps that I made a list of them lol!) Score!

To be fair, I feel I have to admit that JJ wanted a new game on his ipad and there was not enough storage so I had to mess with that for WAY TO LONG to figure it out (cough...over an hour. Ok, hours). So that, admittedly, loses me percentage points. My brother would have had that done in under a minute... Sigh...

Tomorrow I work 12 hours and the kids will hopefully be good for the sitters (I split the 12 hour day into 2 6 hour shifts for 2 sitters to save their sanity - one being Beautiful. Even she thinks that 6 hours will be too long... Wednesday I work 9 hours and they will be with one sitter, then I have someone getting Faith to her softball game. I will rush home long enough to feed the kids and get them to Faith's Double Header game. Thursday morning we have to be gone by 9 to go pick Grace back up.

Thursday will be the point breaker. I have plans to (if the weather cooperates and it appears that it will be extremely hot and therefore be cooperative) take the 4 kids to a water park. By myself. Yep, the rest of this week will be kids play compared to that. I am wavering on chickening out so we will see. That and I will have to find something to do for 2 hours with them before the pool opens and they may get so antsy during that time that we won't even make it to opening time before we need to go home lol!  Water Parks are always a tenuous thing for us. My husband a very very healthy (unhealthy??) fear of water so if anything at all happened to the kids while I had them at a pool it would be... not good...  but we all need to stretch ourselves...right? If you think I am a helicopter mom in life, it is nothing compared to at a pool:(  Then Superman has a baseball tournament game that night and the men get back Friday afternoon (YAY!!!!!).

So, every situation that happens this week I mentally catalog if it increases my "success" rate or decreases it. So far I personally think I am batting over 40%. I could make the week "easy" for myself...or I could put in some extras that could boost that success rate to...gasp...possibly over 50%! A good healthy dose of competitiveness from my brother is just what I needed to push myself harder this week.  I am so thankful for Ellie's special friends who offered to take her for a few days for me. And for the sitters who will watch the 3. Without them and their help (and several others who are helping me out this week) I can guarantee I would not have had even a chance of hitting that 40% - but I do have people helping and I will claim those points - just like I felt no remorse for claiming the rewards of that A+ back in 1990 lol!

Brother, thanks for always being that poke in the back I need to keep moving forward;) I couldn't do it without you (and thanks for letting me have a little fun with you in this post...you are not the only one in this family with a twisted since of humor lol! Except people may get your humor more than they get mine...gah! See, you win again! ;)

JJ and my run in with the deputy;)

I have been battling a migraine since Saturday - pretty non-stop since Tuesday. Yesterday I got  massage and hoped it would help but it did not. Today I was able to get a chiropractor appointment scheduled, after my girls' Bible Study, for myself and Jonathan (to help with his Rumination Syndrome). I didn't wear any makeup or do my hair today, and dressed in very "comfy" clothes for the adjustment. Normally I am not self-conscious of my sloppy appearance when not at work and simply try to not run into anyone but today it seemed like I just kept running into people everywhere!

At the chiropractor appointment there where a bunch of people in the waiting room:( JJ did great though and sat in the room while I got traction (my herniated disk has also been acting up lately so needed that extra treatment) calmly and quietly. Then we got our adjustments. During that time JJ insisted that he was hungry and needed food. When he actually wants to eat we feed him so...off to Subway we went despite my not wanting to be seen by anyone else while dressed "comfortably."

Getting ready to turn left in Subway there were a bunch of cars coming and a semi parked on the right shoulder so no one could get around me. We almost (by inches) got rear-ended by a teenager driving a small truck.  Grrrr. I was able to move forward enough to avoid the impact but we sure did hear a lot of screeching rubber.

We got into Subway and it was empty but someone called my name as if they knew me. It was fun that the "sandwich artist" was a friend of ours...but it reminded me that her graduation card is still sitting on my desk unmailed...fail...

We were getting JJ's sandwich made and since the store was empty I was working with him to use his own words to get what he wanted and helping him retrieve the right words for toppings. He put things on his sandwich I have never seen him do before when I just do it so it was a good teaching moment for me too:)

He asked for chips and I agreed but when I turned to tell him where to go to there were two deputies standing right in front of the rack that I had not heard come in. JJ seemed reluctant so I encouraged him that they would not hurt him and to just go get his chips. They smiled and engaged him. When he got back to me (I was trying to pay and finish up) I realized they were talking to him but he was not responding. I was impressed that he went to get the chips by himself (cheetoes are very enticing;)  So I took the time to turn him around, get down on his level, and encourage him to talk back to the officers. They engaged him kindly and he gave some responses (that I said first so he could just repeat). One asked if he wanted some tattoos (that we normally do not allow) but it was a way to get him to talk more with him so I modeled for him to say "yes please." We had to go to the truck to get them and the other officer said, "have him turn on the lights too!"  JJ got to crawl up into the truck and put the buttons to make the lights go, then the sirens. He seemed to have a good time but he is just so utterly subdued around people. We see such an animated and talkative kid when he feels safe (and last night's babysitter said he was totally different this time meaning she finally made it to his "safe" list too!  yay!) Anyway, the deputy kept trying to engage him and I kept trying to think of things for JJ to say to the man. He got his 2 tattoos and a sticker and we headed home (thankfully without further incident).

JJ had wanted his sticker on right away so I put that on in the car (right before he proceeded to eat his entire 6" sub. He WAS hungry!)

When we got home my husband had a picture framing customer here. When he saw JJ (and his sticker) his first words were, "Uh oh! Mom must of gotten pulled over!"

Whaaaaaa?  Thanks a lot Babe lol!  So ended our quick trip for adjustments. Whew!  But, hey, my migraine is gone for the first time in almost a week! The test will be if it comes back sitting through Faith's double header softball game in 90 degree heat tonight;)

A Fun Family Supper

Tonight's supper is a testimony to how relaxed things have gotten in our family lately - they all ganged up on me lol! It was so fun to laugh around the table and not have fighting. It was what I imagine that other families get to enjoy most of their meal times.

We had a bit of serious discussion at lunch when my husband and I praised the girls for their very noticeable changes in behavior lately and how pleasant that has been. We spent time as a family trying to dissect why things have been less tense and more relaxed lately - and why the girls have been more behaved so that we can keep it happening lol! I don't know if that is what made everyone more relaxed for supper or not but we had a lot of laughs.

First, Grace asked me to help her understand what I do for work. I tried to explain that I help people make decisions. Superman responded, "it sounds like you boss people around." They thought that was very funny since that is what they see me do at home;) Superman is the peacemaker in our family and will always joke and clown around to get a laugh.

Then I tried to explain more about what I do like helping people not feel sad or anxious, or to help them get along, or to help parents and kids by helping the parents with ideas on how to discipline their kids so their kids can grow up making better choices. Superman again piped up with, "I bet you tell them how to rule with an iron fist!" We are a sarcastic humor family and it was actually such balm to my heart to have Superman speak his mind to joke with me like that and know I would laugh. He was being funny, not trying to be mean.

Then I got a song line stuck in my head and sang it with a little dance as I was putting away the food. Buddy told me to stop dancing as he was laughing hysterically at me. My husband stopped him and said, "hey! no! You don't want Mom to stop singing and dancing! When you see her dancing she is in a good mood! That is the time to say, "Hey Dad and I are heading up to Canada to go fishing!'" lol!

We then tackled Buddy to the ground and put a "man bun" in his hair. AND took pictures lol! He was good natured about it- so much so that I actually got a picture of him...are you ready??? SMILING!!!!. Beautiful was over for supper and we had fun with it:)

It is so rare that we have this kind of fun time that I actually had to post about it. Tensions are easing a little here. It is a good reminder to me that things can be different and to hold onto these light moments and try to make them more frequent:)

Laughter is good medicine:)

Update on JJ

I am not sure I am in the best frame of mind to be writing this post but I have a little time so here goes.

JJ met with the GI Specialist and he said that JJ was just fine. We met for a Feeding Study and the OT and Speech Pathologist said that as far as eating goes, JJ is just fine. They noted some sensory and OT issues. We met with the Neurologist. He was a very old man (I am guessing close to 80) and we very much appreciated his decades of experience and wisdom. He said that we could do an MRI but wondered what the point would be as it would not alter the treatment plan. We appreciated that he did not send JJ off for more testing where he would have to be put under anesthesia without a solid good reason. We felt like he heard us. He asked good questions. He was good with JJ. He said that JJ did have Apraxia - but that the diagnosis doesn't really give us any real information that would drive treatment - other than to continue Speech Therapy as that seems to be helping him. He actually had some things to say that were difficult to hear regarding prognosis. He diagnosed him with Rumination Syndrome, which I had never heard of, and we have been given the name of 2 Psychologists who specialize with that disorder.

After doing some research on Rumination Syndrome, we are using the techniques that we have learned and JJ is not vomiting into his mouth as much as he was. We can pursue the specialists if we can't get it under control ourselves now that we know what it is.

Neurologically I am very sad with the conclusions the specialist drew, and quite frankly am angry. I know JJ doesn't present that he talks much or engages, but once he feels safe he talks non-stop, is actually understandable most of the time now, and has so much personality and character that he is a joy to have around. One of the comments the neurologist said was that we may have to medicate him for his behavior within 5 years if he continues with the emotional dysregulation. After having the Middles gone at camp for a week and JJ having only 1 outburst it is clear that there is more to it than him just being out of control. Life in this house is enough to make ME emotionally dysregulated a good chunk of time lol!

Then we just got word 2 days ago that the company where JJ does his Speech Therapy is going to stop doing outpatient work. My husband and I had been considering for awhile having him stop as what they are doing with him are tasks that we could be doing ourselves. So while we were upset we have come to realize that if we just do what they were doing, and be intentional about it daily, then we can probably make better progress. We got lazy and left it to the Speech Path and she never gave us take home work, so we will just do it at home and later have him reassessed and see what he needs to work on next. JJ has made HUGE strides in the 18 months he has been in speech therapy. Most of them related to him feeling confident enough to express his needs if he has to, and feeling more comfortable with strangers. The articulation issues are what they are working on now, and word retrieval, but we can be doing that at home after watching how they have done it for the past 12 months since JJ actually got comfortable enough to talk during speech therapy;)

JJ has also been making big strides in making friends and being social. He stayed with a sitter last Thursday by himself and did great! He chose the sitter, the activities, and asked if they could stay at our house where he felt safe - but he did it! He also attended 3 days of VBS even though it required him to wake 2-3 hours earlier than usual (we did let him keep sleeping on Wed. I got him up and dressed but he was a limp noodle and just kept sleeping so we let him). Getting up early has not resulted in him going to sleep any earlier than 11:30 (partly due to late baseball and softball games - but partly because he just can't fall asleep any earlier than that. The Neurologist told us to not even try). He is readily and appropriately playing with other kids at the pool and other social situations. He isn't talking much with them in a group and still looks to me to answer for him. When people talk to him he mostly grunts and just stares at them. I try to understand what that looks like to others because in situations where he feels safe he never shuts up and is extremely animated... But last week he had his first individual play date (without his older siblings around to "interpret" for him) and he did just fine. The boys played together very well with no difficulty with being understood and I was intentionally not jumping in to clarify what he was saying.

I guess my Momma's heart is hurting to get discouraging news, but it is also bringing out the Momma Bear in me. JJ is precious. He is perfect just the way he is. He is adorable. He is hilarious. He is smart. He has so much personality and can "read the room." He is tenacious. He is kind, gentle, sweet, and so loving. He is thoughtful. He never forgets any idea (struggles with word retrieval, but he will never forget a rule or concept - and insists that it be consist every time!  I can get away with NOTHING lol!). He asks so many questions and wants to know how everything works. Sure he won't stop asking until he gets satisfactory answers no matter how inconvenient the timing. Sure he talks in sentences that are often times with messed up word sequences so it is like talking to Yoda. But he is JJ. He is unique and I love him to death. I refuse to believe the prognosis that was painted for him. He is a survivor and has parents and a family who will do whatever it takes for him to succeed. He was created by God who has a perfect plan for him just the way he is, not in spite of the way he is.

So...it will be well and I am going to focus on my son JJ, not what he looks like on paper and defined as some category, but as a created child who is full of possibilities:)


Yes, it is not lost on me that I was initially afraid that no one would believe us and they would say he was "just fine" but then he was given descriptions/prognoses that have made me say, "No! Darn it! He will be just fine!"  Sheesh, I need to make up my mind;)

Estes Park Vacation - May 2016

Our family has tried, over the past several years, to embark on a family vacation annually. I only had 1 family vacation as a kid and my husband had none, so we wanted to make these memories with our kids. We used to go visit family a couple of times a year, but have been enjoying finding new places to visit. Before the Middles came we went with family to Mazatlan 3 times, soon after they came we had already planned the trip so a friend kept the Middles for 10 days while we went and got a much needed break (the kids were 2, 2 and 3) while our friend earned several crowns in heaven for her sacrifice;)  and went 1 more time in 2012 with Superman and JJ while the girls stayed home with friends. I still think that staying on the beach with no way for any electronic communication with me (except checking email once a day) is my favorite vacation...but these other ones have been fun too;) We have been to the Black Hills, Branson, Disney World, and this time chose Estes Park, CO. Beautiful and her husband honeymooned there last year and since this vacation was in part a celebration of our son-in-law graduating from college and about to start his new job they wanted to go back to Estes and we thought it was a good idea. We had to time it the week between him graduating and starting his new job so we expected some cooler temps, but it all worked out well:)

Day 1: We drove to CO. Drives are always difficult. Packing 9 of us into a 12 passenger van even with the grate on the back for extra storage is always more difficult. But we did it and the drive there was less traumatic than usual:) I suffered with a terrible headache the first couple of days but my husband gave me some neck rubs and by day 3 I was better. Made for a not as fun as it could have been drive, but it was fine. We got to the 6 bedroom house and unpacked - extremely thankful that we could all spread out. Grace had her own room so she could have a place to calm down. Thankfully her behavior over the whole of the trip was at the max a 6 on a 10 point scale when usually she has several massive tantrums. So, it was good she had a place to calm and be away from us when she started to escalate. We also did not have 12- 14 hour days of being out of the house. I think that the extra time in the house just relaxing helped her a lot. I sure helped me lol! 

Anyway, after we got unpacked we enjoyed some of the food that I had packed (we only ate out 1 meal). My husband and the older kids had gone out to buy milk, etc and brought back some Sunkist which JJ enjoyed 2 glasses of immensely. JJ had picked a room right next to ours that he wanted to sleep in. It was the first vacation since we have had children where my husband and I had a room to ourselves! Anyway, come bedtime JJ was not settling down. He finally fell asleep after 1:30 and I fell asleep in his bed with him before him so at 2:30 I woke up and made my way to my room. A couple of hours later he crawled into bed with us. The 3 of us did not fit in a queen bed so I left him with my husband and I slept very well in his bed thank you very much lol! 

Day 2: We were talking over breakfast about JJ not sleeping the night before so Buddy pulled out the Sunkist bottle and read that there are 41 mg of caffeine per 12 oz of Sunkist!!!!!!! We usually don't drink pop but are still drinking left over cases of pop from the wedding - the cheap orange shurfine stuff has no caffeine so I did not expect that!  NO MORE caffeine for JJ lol! 

We went to Bear Lake to hike. It was cold and snowing on and off. The trail around the lake was packed with snow. Everyone else thought that I would, as the resident "fun sucker" as my family somewhat affectionately calls me, have us just go back. But I surprised them with leading the way to hike around the lake over sometimes several feet of packed snow. It was pretty, not as cold as one would expect given all of that snow, but definitely wet. 

After hiking we went back to the house where I settled in relaxing with 5 kids (and hot chocolate and s'mores) and my husband, Beautiful, and her husband all went fishing:)

Day 3: Grace's 10th Birthday! Today we hiked around Estes Lake. I had seen a map and saw there was a walking trail all the way around it, but did not note that it was 3.7 miles. It was a pretty hike but a little cold in spots depending on the wind. We saw an Eagle and a lot of Elk. JJ made it a bit over 1/2 way on his own but needed to be carried the rest of the way. When we got back to the house we got out Grace's birthday cupcakes to celebrate. Our awesome friends also made a last minute decision to vacation in Estes and it happened to be the week we were there, so they came over for supper to help us celebrate! It was extra special. 

Here JJ, my husband, and I bring up the rear of our group:)

Day 4: It was warmer today so we did some more hiking. We went to a lake that was flat and small. There was not any snow on the path:) The kids decided to play "statue" so we got some fun pictures of them. I have realized that I do a lot of group shots of the kids so tried, on this vacation, to do more singles for their scrapbooks (of which I am years behind). 

Then we went over to Bierstadt Lake trail. We knew we would never make it all the way to the lake, but we wanted to hike a mountain so this was it lol! Everyone started up the mountain but JJ decided he needed to be carried. After some stern negotiation I finally got him moving. It was so beautiful going up the mountain. It started with tall trees, then we got above the trees and could look out at the valley and mountains. Breathtaking beauty:) I was able to coax JJ from one "big rock" to another where he would stop and rest. Then he realized that everyone else had turned around to come back so, the incredibly stubborn child that he is, he decided that he wanted to keep moving upwards. When we got to higher than the others had even gone before they turned around I finally told him that we could not go any further than "that tree" because "we didn't pay the money." Shockingly he turned around to go back. I took a picture of the 3 kids who were still with me as JJ booked it down the mountain with our son in law trying to keep up with him. It was hilarious lol! My husband and Buddy were already at the bottom. It was a narrow and rocky trail that wove back and forth to get up the mountain as going straight up would have been impossible.  JJ was in his element though - silly kid. Later that night (after my husband, Beautiful, and her husband went fishing...again) he got this look on his face like he was imparting extremely important information ( his face is very animated when he is with people he feels safe with - it is adorable. However, he will NEVER let us capture it in a picture:(  Again, very stubborn child) and said, "I am not afraid of heights anymore! I climbed a mountain!" It was extra precious that he said that because he is afraid of even being held upside down even at a slight slant. He also has always been terrified of being above the head of the person holding him. You know how little kids like being held up high or even tossed up gently? NEVER JJ. He will become absolutely hysterical. So, for him to say that was cute and sweet. Now, he still got scared later when I was trying to hand him out of the van over the top of me and his head got below his feet...but it is what it is:)

We went back home and...the oldest 3 went out fishing again:) They enjoyed eating their fish every night. Our son in law even made stuffed peppers on the grill with the fish one night. Beautiful came to me with some chips and left over "stuffing" encouraging me to try it. After my mouth stopped being on fire I asked what in the world was in it. She barely stopped laughing long enough to tell me "2 jalapenos."  Troublesome child;) 

Day 5: This was our last day there.  In the morning my husband, Buddy, Beautiful and her husband all went on a 4 hour UTV drive. They had a great time and had some interesting stories of the terrain and closeness to steep drop offs. When they got back Buddy watched the Middles while the rest of us went downtown to do some shopping. I hate shopping...but we did find a toy store and bought JJ a bug catcher and us adults a trivia game that we later had tons and tons of laughs over.  The carmel apples and homemade ice cream that we bought were also delicious (although JJ being JJ ordered a plain cone with vanilla that I had to finish for him - absolutely no culinary adventure in that boy - he is a lot like Buddy that way lol!)

After that we decided that our legs were all plenty sore from the preciously 3 days of hiking so we mostly drove around and enjoyed the scenery from the van. We drove a different road and it was just so beautiful! 

Day 6: We packed up and drove home this day. The drive home was ok. No one fell asleep which was a testament to how much downtime we were able to have on the vacation to rest and relax, and not just run, run, run like every previous vacation. My husband is not one to sit still during a vacation so I am thankful for our son in law who is willing to go, go, go while I stay home with the other kids. I read a lot of books, the kids got to have a lot of Disney Junior watching and Kindle games (eh, we were on vacation, I allowed it for once;) I even slept well enough at night (after the first night) that I didn't even need a nap while we were there lol! We somehow managed to have more stuff to bring home even after eating most of the food we packed. We can't quite figure that out as we didn't buy that much there. I keep telling my husband that we need a 15 passenger van before the next trip...although maybe Beautiful and her husband won't want to take another vacation with us and then we will have enough room;) 

Some random musings: I love the sound of water. I contemplated whether I prefer the sound of a mountain stream or ocean waves. Buddy and I decided that they are both nice for different reasons. I think the ocean waves are a little better...but then I realized that is probably because I was far more relaxed by the ocean only having 2 kids for 4 of the trips and the 5th trip was without the girls so it was easier (except that JJ was only 18 months old and was...JJ). Beautiful and Buddy just never caused any trouble on vacations and usually my husband went off with my step-dad to explore while the rest of us just sat on the beach and the biggest decision of the day was to walk to the left or the right along the shore;) It is just not the same with the other kids which makes me long for the days where life was easier...while I remind myself that easier isn't better.

Which led me to my last bout of musing...at what age is it easier to have kids on vacation? I mean, we look back on vacations and tend to forget the stress of it and remember the happy moments caught on camera (I will NOT show you the many MANY attempted "happy" family pictures that were taken on this trip before we got 1 that worked lol!). I wonder if it will ever be relaxing to have our kids on vacation. Someday my husband and I will vacation alone, it will be relaxing, but we will be lonely. I don't know what is better lol!   Scratch that, when my husband I go on vacation he will be running around "doing" and I will be begging to stay back at the cabin "being." There will still be stress lol!! 

A Fun Day:)

I usually post about heavier things, so I thought I would share a post about how our family does, at times, actually have some fun;)

This has been a very busy work week for me - working every day when I normally have Thursday and Friday off (although my husband often reminds me that I do go in for an hour or 2 on those days and rarely do I actually have them off). This week was a lot more than that and we (especially my husband) needed some down time.

Today I got to present a 2 hour training on Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI). I love "teaching" and I am so passionate about that material (just as passionate as I am about EMDR!). I was so excited that they asked me to come and talk about it:)

While I was doing that my husband took Superman, Faith, and JJ fishing in the town where I was presenting. I reminded my husband it was not a "hard-core" fishing day...just enough for the kids to make some memories. My husband's idea of fishing is waking up when it is still pitch black and leaving for the water (which is harder to find in this state than in MN where we grew up;) and not returning until dark lol!  Today was low key:)

Anyway, they picked me up when I was done and we went to Applebees for lunch. We used a gift card that I had gotten for a presentation I done on the same material a year ago (we clearly do not go out to eat very often lol!). It was a good meal. Some highlights of the meal included JJ asking for both grilled chicken and a corn dog. While he was considering those he saw a picture of a steak. So...he got the kids' steak. He ended up eating 1/2 of that and most of Faith's shrimp. Then he thought the lemons on my plate were oranges...his face was hilarious when he figured out that was not the case lol! He then insisted that we buy him shrimp and oranges to take home for him to eat. Superman really likes to eat burgers so we got him a quesadilla burger. He was shocked at the size of it and said it was the first time he has eaten out at a restaurant and actually got completely full:)  Faith loved the mozzarella sticks (a girl after my own heart) and her chicken and shrimp meal. Jonathan loudly announcing his need to...use the restroom...left us all laughing as well.

Grace was not with us because...she is in the Team Mates program and got to attend the Spring Game today! She was so excited to go and had a great time. We are so thankful for that program for her to get the extra connection time with her Teammate who is, by the way, the most perfect fit for Grace:) Grace is now insisting that the rest of us need to actually attend a game too (although  my husband and Buddy have attended a Spring Game too) so I suppose we will actually have to experience a game at some point (after living in this state for 18 years now;).

We came home and the kids spent the afternoon and evening playing outside. JJ INSISTED that I jump on the trampoline with him. He seems to think I am some 20-something mother. I was sitting on the trampoline catching my breath from laughing so hard at his silliness (ok...and from jumping so long) when he looked down on my head seeing my "roots" growing out and said, "Mom, why is your hair turning white?" I answered, "because I am getting old."  He was so sweet when he replied, "Mom! You are not old!" So we jumped, I played catch with the 3 of them while Grace enjoyed her calming lavender bath, and JJ had a ton of fun running through the neighbor's sprinkler while fully clothed;)

Beautiful and her husband were heading back to our place tonight but she REALLY wanted to see the Jungle Book movie so asked if we would come too. Buddy was at work all day and I thought it was too much for the kids...so my husband drove down to eat supper and see the movie with them. It is just so incredibly sweet to me that my husband does those fun things with her (and that SHE wants us to be such a constant part of their life even post-marriage), and the other kids. So many dads do not. I am infinitely thankful for my husband - and God's wisdom when He put us together. Looking back 24 years ago we were a terrible match - but God has worked in both of us and made us compliment each other well. He knew what He was doing;)

So, just a fun post about a fun day to let you know (and remind me) that we are able to have fun times as a family and it isn't ALL drama (just 80% of it;).

JJ's Scope Procedure

Thank you all for praying for today! It went well:)

We got up up 4:15 a.m. to be on the road by 5.  I accidentally knocked the diffuser over where JJ was sleeping and got him wet...which woke him up (he has seasonal allergies so he has been having a bad runny nose and we were using EO's to help him). Instead of falling back asleep like he normally would, he knew what we were going to do today and got up.  At 4:30 in the morning. There is a first for everything! Then he begged for food! JJ! Before 2 p.m.! I laughed hysterically for a few minutes while my husband was trying to figure out if I had lost my mind (which I probably have) then we just moved forward.

The whole trip to the hospital from 5 - 6:30 JJ stayed wide awake but was very quiet other than commenting about the stars:)

We got there 15 minutes early and registered. The next person who was supposed to be there already for the 7:30 procedure did not show up on time so they just prepped JJ and got him done at 7:30. I held up ok. JJ was clearly very nervous and retreating inside himself. When the charge nurse (who was AMAZING) asked him for his name before she could administer the liquid valium he couldn't even say his name - I am not sure he even remembered his last name at that point. The staff were all wonderful but we had 45 minutes less than we thought for prep so it all moved pretty quick (praise the Lord!). The anesthesiologist, GI specialist, Nurse Practitioner, nurses, and Life Specialist (there to help JJ feel calm, and prepare him with pictures of what was going to happen) were all very kind, low key, thoughtful, and anticipated our anxiety and tried to help us with that.

They took JJ at 7:30 and he did not get outwardly upset at all. The nurse got us some drinks and a muffin and then the GI specialist was right back. It was 8 and the fastest 30 minutes of my life. I know that was because of your prayers! Thank you for praying and for those of you who texted this morning to show us you were thinking of us. It meant A LOT!

The GI specialist gave us some of the pictures of JJ's insides and it was all structurally normal and there was no visible evidence of long term damage from his frequent vomiting. Yea!! He will call in a week with the results of the biopsies (like if he has Celiacs, infections, long-term damage, etc). If the biopsies come back clear, and the neurologist says it is not related to any neurological problem, and the feeding specialists say it is not motor related...then we are looking at this being a behavioral issue like anxiety. I know the depth of JJ's anxiety with all of the separation issues but if his anxiety makes his vomit every time he eats? When I was a teenager I spent several years vomiting 3 - 5 times a day entirely due to being in specific situations that made me extremely anxious (pretty much being rejected by people I wanted to like me). It would slay me to think that JJ feels that much anxiety - those were horrible years for me. But...I am counting chickens before they are hatched...we will get the results from the next diagnostic phases first before we check out that "basket."

Anyway, then a younger child was brought to the room next door and was clearly unhappy and inconsolable. As JJ was still in recovery I just paced and paced the floor thinking he may be that unhappy back in recovery and I wasn't there for him. But, the anesthesiologist stepped in and said he was fine. Would he tell me if he wasn't? probably not lol! But I was able to sit for awhile then. That was the longest 30 minutes of my life (aside from being in labor;)

They brought him back and he was still sleeping. He opened his unfocused eyes a bit to crawl into the regular bed and snuggle with me. They did all of the vitals, etc. They wanted him to wake to drink but we told them that getting him to eat/drink in the morning on a good day was sketchy so they let us go after about an hour. He woke long enough while we were taking out the IV and dressing him to tell us he wanted pizza and wanted the wheelchair to take him to the car rather than me carry him. Then he promptly fell asleep in the car again. We are home, we ordered pizza and it is waiting for him, but he is still sleeping and likely will sleep a long time yet I am sure (and I am going to go nap right with him:)

Thanks so much for your support and your prayers:) We are at the beginning of this diagnostic process and really appreciate your prayers for peace and for answers:)