Dr. Strange: How the Movie Has Challenged Me

Have you ever gone to a movie and had it impact you on a personal level in a way that was probably not the intention of the movie production team? That happened to me with the movie Dr. Strange. Aside from what I considered to be a movie way outside of normal expectations for plot and visual effects, there was one concept that really stuck in my head. A concept that made me disgusted with its implications. The longer that it stuck in my head, the more that I realized that it was actually something that I do. I guess it was one of those situations where God used the movie to point out:

Matthew 7:3  "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

When it is pointed out to Dr. Strange that his surgical success rates are so high in part due to him not taking on extra risky or hard cases I was floored. While you probably knew this, I did not realize that specialists refuse to take on certain cases if the chance of failure will harm their success statistics. In hind site it should not have surprised me. After all in my own profession if we are untrained in a particular area we are told to refer on to the appropriate specialist. That just seems different to me than refusing for the sole purpose of it affecting success rates.

Several days after the movie it still stuck in my gut in a bad way. Then I started thinking about my own practice. There are definitely situations where I wish I could refer someone on because I don't want to work with the issue, it will take too much effort, take too long, the outcome is "hopeless" (in my fleshly opinion), or whatever the excuse may be. But I try to focus on the fact that God brought that person through my door and I am to do what I can do and leave the outcome to Him. I got thinking that is kind of like the statistics reason. It isn't that I am not qualified, it is just that I (admittedly selfishly) prefer the "easy" situations. 

Ouch.

But once I sifted through that layer of thinking, God hit me with the second punch.

Isn't that my exact situation with raising my "hard" kiddos? Well, yes.it.is. 

It would sure be nice to have "easy" adopted (and biological) children. It would be nice if I never had to deal with heart rebellion. It would be great if every tool that I have learned through my decades of training cut off all wrongdoing in my children on the very first day it happened. 

But that wouldn't be reality would it? After all, God in all of His power hasn't cut off my own sin the first time that I commit it - because He allows that pesky gift of "free will."

Thank you so much for the prayer that some of you have offered for our family and our daughters since my last post. I know I have felt much more peace, perspective, and hope. Thank you to those of you who have called or written encouragement. While I dislike being vulnerable and sharing our yuck, I covet your prayers. 

Behavior is not necessarily better in our home, but my heart is in a better place. My hope is not in changed behavior, my hope is in God being sovereign. 

My husband and I had a long talk with Buddy on Friday. It was so hard to hear him talk about how our family simply cannot have any fun, go places, or do what we would like to do due to the behaviors of some of our kiddos. It is isolating and frustrating. It grieves me that we only have 1 1/2 years left with this precious young man that I adore and then those years are forever gone. Years that have been negatively impacted by our choice to have difficult kiddos. Biological kids often get forgotten in the chaos of realities of adding adopted children and this has happened with Buddy (and Beautiful). I try to think of our situation as "fire" that God is using to purify their hearts before they go out into the world. However, it is a huge blessing that both Beautiful and Buddy have seemed to also believe that. There were years they were resentful (and I know it still happens at times). But when Buddy was sharing his feelings it was such a relief to this guilty mom's heart to hear him say "I am not saying that you should not have adopted them. I am just saying this is how it has changed our family." He was matter of fact and accepting of the "nice and easy" things that he has missed out on and the "hard and difficult" realities that have replaced it. 

Praise God for how He sanctifies and humbles us when we start thinking too highly of ourselves, loves us when we are "hard and difficult," changes our perspective from the horizontal to the vertical, and uses even Marvel movies to challenge our assumptions and belief sets. He is so creative and versatile when He says "Stop it! Wrong way! Get refocused!!!"