Sunday, March 18, 2012

The rest of the kids...

I suppose you are wondering what is going on with the other children? It seems like there are two that get most of the blogging attention:)

Beloved had a great year on a home school basketball team. She won the All Star award for getting the most tally points out of 7 categories. Things like blocks, rebounds, defensive rebounds, etc. She was not the highest points scorer, but I think was 2nd or 3rd. She is such a joy to watch and they won every game she was there to play (except at the tournament where we had some emotional losses).

Beloved is going to be a life guard this summer and has her drivers permit! She is growing up (is very tall!!) and as we navigate the teenage girl stage her father and I are learning to lean on the Truth of God's promises and work in her life.

Buddy and Beloved have the tough jobs of having been "ousted" from their comfortable role as the only two children and being the oldest children on whom much responsibility has fallen. I would be deceiving you to say the transition from 2 to 6 has been easy, but we try to remind them (and ourselves) that God has not called us to a comfortable life.

Buddy, through this transition, has also entered into the pre-teen years and is dealing with "stuff" that we had previously thought was just Buddy's "quirkiness." He is a very, very loveable and precious child that we adore. However, he has many sensitivities to sound, food texture, people, etc that result in over stimulation so we have had to learn to navigate these issues. While Beautiful is our social butterfly, Buddy is our hermit:)

Superman has grown into a very loving and protective child. He is so caring and thoughtful about others. He desires for everyone to like him and really wants to be a policeman to help others. I worry about the horrible things that he would see as a policeman:( He receives speech/language intervention at the public school one afternoon a week. I am thankful that the school psychologist was willing to hear our concerns and took time for extra testing and diagnostics so we could see what was hindering Superman. What we discovered was a severe difficulty with processing auditory information and cannot hold 2 pieces of information at the same time well, especially if there is distraction (What! Distraction in our house?? Never lol!). Since most information is taught auditorily this has been hard for me to compensate for in home school. However, he is making significant progress from a year ago and is actually reading pretty on track for kindergarten as long as we use the techniques we have developed. The biggest problem continues to be in public as he has such high fear reactions in public and where there is so much information coming at him that he cannot process what is being said to him (e.g. stay by us, don't wonder off, make sure that we can see you, etc). We know that he carries many hurts from his past, but he has not yet allowed himself the vulnerability of opening that part of himself to us. He perceives many things as rejection and we struggle with bridging that gap to feelings of safety.

Faith is our compliant and easy child (yes!!! we have ONE!!!!) She is very bright and is learning with leaps and bounds. She is learning very well from the apps on the ipad and she is an intuitive reader and math student. I am so thrilled with how easy she is to teach and how quickly she catches on. I have to be sure to not let her fall into the shadows since she is not a "squeaky wheel." However, out of all of the children she is the most sensitive and emotional. She is a true "princess!!" She needs lot of reassurance, smiling eyes, encouragement, and reminders that she doesn't have to know everything the very first time she is exposed to it. The down side to this is that she thinks a lot about being adopted, about missing her birth mom, about "forever," and deals with abandonment and hurt at a deep level.

There you go, updates in as small of a nutshell as I can get it:)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

JJ Update

We went on vacation to the ocean last month. We worried about how sick that JJ would get and how his breathing would be effected. However, he had NO problems! That really got us thinking about getting an air purifier. We returned home and bought a high end air purifier. We have had it running for 9 nights now. He has slept through the night the last four nights and seems to be breathing much better in the night and morning. He used to wake in the night with obvious congestion issues and uncomfortableness. However, the beautiful weather has involved us going outside a lot and that is clearly affecting him negatively. It is sad that in our house the windows never get to be open on nice days due to the pollen, etc. I'm so glad that we get to be outside though!

He gained 2 lbs last month (after having lost weight gain the previous month) and has already gained 1/2 lb in the past 2 weeks. He is eating better (but eating "good" is not something we would say). He was last put on antibiotics 5 weeks ago yesterday. He usually doesn't make it much longer than that before he is sick again. So...we shall wait and see:)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Graces new journey: long over due update

Grace has been doing so much better as of late. The work with the biochemist has help her to mostly eliminate any of the digestive issues that we have battled for 5 years. She doesn't have the stomach aches and other issues that plagued her.

However, Grace did not have the full reduction of ADHD symptoms that we had hoped for. We have come to terms with this reality. We have tried every option that we know of and have finally had to accept that when there are neurological complications...supplements and behavioral interventions are not necessarily enough. We are very pleased that with the supplements, dietary, and behavioral interventions she is able to be maintained on a once a day dose of ADHD medication. For some reason she needs to have it in the morning to seem to get on track for the day. Mornings are not nearly as bad as they used to be and we know that the other interventions have given significant reduction in behaviors but we still make sure we get her medication in her right away in the a.m! Oddly enough, she does not need another dose after it wears off right after lunch time. Why she does so much better in the afternoons and evenings is strange. We assume that the supplements/nutritional changes have given her that much benefit.

What has become sadly clear though, now that we have her behaviors as under control as we can possibly hope they will ever be, is that we realize just how disrupted her focus and attention is. This is having huge effects on her academic progress as she is in kindergarten this year. We make sure we complete her school in the morning while her medication is helping, but even so we get about 10 - 15 minutes of a "window" to give information before the window is closed to instruction (per subject). Even then, recall is poor at a later time or even with a 30 second distraction. The computer has been so incredibly helpful in teaching her because it is immediate gratification (click a button and get an immediate response instead of waiting for her siblings to give their answers and me talk, etc). We are seeing many of the learning struggles in her that we see in Superman. That feels, quite honestly, very overwhelming at this time. We will be having her further assessed, although at this time I am trying to discern what all we should have her tested for.

What is the upside to all of this (since this seems like a kind of up and down report)? We have finally gotten to get to see a glimpse of who Grace is. She is maternal. She is loving. She cares that others are happy and involved. She loves, loves, loves to be held and rocked. She LOVES to laugh and be tickled. She loves physical activity and being outdoors. She is girly, girly, girly and thinks fixing hair and dressing up is a riot. She absolutely cannot wait to be a mommy (WE CAN WAIT!!!!!! lol) and always has dolls dressed up around her whom she is "mothering."

(DOSE OF REALITY: she tries to make everyone be a "player" in her fantasy that we call "Grace's World" and doesn't seem to understand that other people actually have their opinions about what to do, when to do it, how to do it, etc. But, hopefully more empathy will develop in time:)

In the meantime, we are enjoying a very happy and joyful little girl who is making progress, can sit still for periods of time and complete a task, who doesn't always act before thinking, who isn't sick all of the time, who is finally gaining weight, and who LOVES to sing praises to Jesus:)

Scars

Adoption is a very emotional experience. It is one that transcends all issues. It is not about simply accepting a child as "our own." That child has a past that has nothing...nothing to do with our family. That past infiltrates the very being of who that child is and must be treated with the reality that it is...not as an elephant in the room tip toed around while ignored. As JJ nears the age where Faith was permanently removed from her bio family/relatives/chaos of placements that was the first 21 months of her life and we near the time when JJ's bio mother is expecting her next child (whom she plans to parent) I have become reflective. Hopefully not depressingly so...but...realistically so...

Beloved fell before age 2 and got 15 stitches in her forehead. Her scar is still visible. Superman fell the first week he was with us and hurt the top of his hand. His scar is still visible. JJ's forehead was cut during delivery. His scars are still visible. (Bunny Trail: it is so odd to me that our white children show bruises but the scars don't show as much, however our black children never show bruises yet the slightest scratch ever on their bodies is always present!) I think about the scars on our children that we cannot see. Those scars in their hearts from the hurts they have experienced. The scars that get in the way of us being able to find out "who" they are. The scars that keep them from being able to discover who they are.

I ponder the sin of this world and how it hurts us, how it has hurt our children. Sin is a ruthless destroyer.

I think of the questions that we cannot and will never be able to adequately answer. I reflect on what they have seen, experienced, and been exposed to that are permanently etched in the deep recesses of their minds. How those things have changed their neurochemistry...and will for as long as they live. I remember the line in Soul Surfer..."she will NEVER be the same." Neither will our children, but their scars are not as obvious as a missing arm.

I weep for the innocence they have lost. I weep that their life circumstances were those that even had to result in adoption. Those circumstances are part of WHO they are, part of who they will always be. Of course, I am extremely glad that God saw in His mercy to have the children removed from where they were, from what they experienced, and that the scars are not much worse. Millions of children are not given that mercy. However, the scars remain nonetheless.

I am thankful for our children in our lives and am so glad they are our children. However, the way I see adoption is very different on this side of 4 adoptions than on the other side. Adoption is a beautiful choice for a child...but 3 of our children are not here because of an "adoption plan." Our child whom we have from "choice" has a birth mom who also "chose" to be expecting another child soon for a total of 3 under 3 in very unstable conditions. When a person adopts...they adopt more than "a" child. They adopt their whole history/family even when adopted a birth. I feel the weight of their "history" every day.

I cannot change the past, present, or future realities. I cannot change the memories, or the hurts, or the neurological damage, or the fears, or the very complicated family trees of my kids who all have many other siblings (and they thought they were in a "large" family with just 5 siblings lol!)

But Jesus can. Jesus makes all things new. Jesus bears the scars of the sin that my children hurt from...and my sin. Those scars are very visible and do not prevent the healing of hearts. They do not prevent us from getting to know Him. His scars help me to know Him better. His scars prove His sovereign power to change the world.

I wonder if our children will ever open their hearts fully to us given what they have been through...but I pray they will open their hearts fully to Him who knows what they have been through and paid the ultimate sacrifice for them.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

JJ Update

JJ continues to be a child that brings us much joy and delight. He is infinitely precious, funny, smiley, cuddly, loving, and silly. Of course, he is a momma's boy and with that comes lots of extra opportunities for me to feel treasured by him:) He is at the fun stage where he loves to pull everything he can reach out of drawers, off the table and counters, and use "stepping stools" out of whatever he can find to get himself higher...and create a bigger mess:) Some of his favorites are pulling out the kitchen chairs and getting on the table, and pulling the cushion off of my glider rocker so he can get is little knee up and climb into the chair and feel "big." He LOVES to laugh. He will look at someone and start giggling just to get them to laugh so he can laugh some more. His giggle is adorable and he can go on for a long time. He emits joy and it is hard to not stop, smile, and engage him. He is an amazing gift!

He is also at the age where he is wanting a bit more independence. Thus, pointing and "insisting" on getting his way is a new tactic. He wants to try to feed himself with a bowl and spoon, which is very messy but cute:) He will run to something that he knows he is not supposed to do (like climb the stairs without us with him), then do is slowly while watching us to see what we will do. He thinks the mouse on the computer and the on/off switch on the power strip to my computer are especially fun things to explore!

JJ continues to be sickly and we appreciate that he continues to be such a joy and so much fun despite his frequent illnesses. After we started the supplements with him he did improve. He only got sick about once a month and they did not include the high fevers. However, he HATES taking the supplements and it is always a major fight. A week before Christmas I weaned (at 15 months) and he has not been well pretty much since then. We had him on antibiotics for congestion/lung congestion right after that. He always has head congestion (without a runny nose) and I don't know that he has ever not had that. Then 3ish weeks ago he came down with the stomach flu after 3 days of increased head congestion, we all ended up with it and he ended with another bout of it. His congestion increased after that and he did not want to eat for about a week. We took him to the chiropractor and his eating improved significantly, but the next day a fever started. After 4 days of fever, poor sleep, and much grumpiness he was again started on an antibiotic and today will be day 4 on it. Grace and Faith are also on antibiotics for the lung crud. We have seen a decrease in clinginess, fever, agitation, and the terrible coughing fits that often resulted in his bottles being all over me instead of in his stomach.

During this last bout we "wore" him a lot in my Ergo carrier. It got to the point that if he was not in it and saw it, he would drag it to us and indicate he wanted it put on and to be worn:) He is so cute:)

He continues to drink mostly from a bottle. He does not like cups and with the problems we chronically have with his weight (he has lost another 1/2 lb since his last weigh in 2 months ago) we don't even fight it. We do whatever it takes to get food into him. His appetite is just not strong at all and he has no interest in eating if he is not hungry. Mostly his eating involves him seeing me eat and climbing up on my lap to feed him from my fork and plate. He has no "favorite" foods that will work all of the time to get into him...except ice cream:) Again, with his weight issues (He is 17 months and 21 lbs 0 oz - with the biggest problem being the weight loss when he is sick, and obviously he is frequently sick) we just do what we can to get food into him. We are VERY excited when he has actually drank enough the previous evening to wet the bed in the morning. It doesn't happen often but that is kind of our benchmark on if he is finally drinking "enough" and that is usually when we see actual weight gain with him.

His sleep is much improved over a few months ago. He continues to wait until around 11:30 to want to sleep. He always goes to sleep in my arms in our bed. Then we transfer him to his bed. It is a good night when he sleeps 7 consecutive hours in his crib:) Then he usually wakes and wants to cuddle up and fall back asleep for a few hours.

JJ shows significant fear in most situations. He is always with my husband or I (or brief times with Beautiful). He is scared to death of church nursery or any separation from us. That is OK. We don't push it. When a possible separation is impending it is clearly a fear response from him and not a "I want my way" temper tantrum. So, we continue to keep him with us all of the time and hope over time he understands that he is safe even without us. It is amazing how separation issues occur for adopted children even when they are adopted at birth...

JJ is totally different on every level from our other 5 kids. There are plenty of trials with his frequent colds/coughs/congestion/fevers. However, he is amazingly precious and I adore him. I could not imagine life without this precious gift that is...my son:)

Sunday, February 5, 2012

More Home school suggestions!

If you checked out the ipad apps State the States and/or State the Countries you will LOVE Presidents vs. Aliens! It is made by the same developer? Author? What do you call people who make apps??? Anyway, it is focused on learning the presidents of the USA, their nick names, the order in which they were president, famous quotes, famous historical events during their presidency, etc. I love it! Oh...I mean...it is very educational for the children lol!!! It is very user friendly. Instead of stacking states when you answer a question correctly such as "which president was nicknamed Young Hickory" or "which of the 4 shown presidents was from the Republican-Democratic party?" you get to launch the head of the president into a bunch of alien heads - winning the round when all of the alien heads have been knocked down:) Pretty creative:)

Highly recommend it! I am learning way more from this game than I ever learned about the Presidents in school...and hope my kids learn a lot too lol!!!

I also want to highly, highly, highly recommend Navigating The Worldviews of Egypt by Isaac Botkin and David Noor. It is part of the Navigating History Project that Vision Forum has in their curriculum section. I don't think anyone can go wrong with any purchase by Vision Forum - I love their conservative, Biblical, and challenging perspectives. I love their mission. I love their products! The book and accompanying DVD's discuss the mysteries of Islam, the Early Church, and Egypt. It explains Islam very well as well as the early clashes between Islam and the Early Church - and how that has resulted in what it looks like today. It is a high school level course and expects a level of deep thought on these topics. However, I think that in light of the state of the world today...we should all have some deep thought on these topics.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Homeschooling: via ipad2???

I had read an article a while back discussing the benefits of the ipad and other electronics (beyond computers) for home schooling. While they were talking about the benefits to missionaries not having to haul books across the world or having books shipped there every year, I thought about how the ipad could benefit me here in the US. My brother very generously blessed me with an ipad2 for Christmas and I have been having fun discovering the options of apps for educational use. I am writing this post for 2 reasons:

First - to see if any of you also do this and have suggestions of apps/ipad curriculum

Second - to share with you the fun...ahem... educational experiences I have been having:)

I found a website called http://appsforhomeschooling.com/ that reviews educational apps. They had a top 10 list for 2011 and I ordered several of them. While her own children are 8 and under, she does review some apps for older children. I was very excited about things like teaching Shakespeare's MacBeth and Romeo and Juliet via the ipad, as well as algebra! Lectures and interactive teaching are at the students fingertips.

Some of my favorite apps I have discovered to date:
1. Stack the States. This is a geography app that teaches state facts, shapes, and of course location in a very fun and competitive way (I love playing this game;)

2. Stack the Countries. This one teaches country facts, shapes, and location. I am working to master my geography on this game. Buddy loves to play these geography games too and they are much more fun (and educational I believe) than more traditional methods of teaching geography. (I love playing this one the most!)

3. Simplex Spell 1 - this is an interactive spelling app that the little ones are using to learn phonics and learning to spell. I love how they can use this app independently freeing me up to work with another child yet they love it and are learning:)

4. I am so incredibly not artsy or even enjoying anything that has to do with art. So, a free app that that I discovered is Scribble Press that allows "creations" with the touch screen. I think JJ will enjoy it as well as the little ones.

5. Discovery Kids: Sharks - a "unit study" on sharks. Unfortunately there is evolutionary language but the kids learn to discriminate between sharks, location of sharks, and what they eat as well as other fun facts.

6. I have downloaded several math apps - Rocket Math and Math Bingo are probably the most fun so far drilling math facts again independently of me sitting with flashcards, etc. I am currently checking one out called Splash Math: Grade 1 that I am having Faith check out to see how useable it will be for us.

Part of my dilemma is having 3 children the same age with a very wide ability range. Using the apps allows them to move forward at their own pace, learn some independent study skills and feedback, and not having me rushing off or being distracted by someone else's need. I have thought about the independent software curriculum for the older two for next year...any thoughts on that would be appreciated too:)

Finally, as we are studying biology this year I got "Frog Dissection." Of course, being in the home of a taxidermist we get to "dissect" animals hands on as frequently as we like. But that doesn't necessarily give the labels and other educational pieces that are helpful. So, we will be enjoying dissecting a frog...without SMELL or MESS!! That makes it a major success to me lol!

Most of these apps were free or $.99. There are more expensive ones that are more involved such as language arts and higher math. The other benefit is that the ipad is portable, allowing the children to do school anywhere (just what they wanted, right?!?!?)

Please let me know if you use any educational apps and what you think of them!

As an aside, I love the speaker on the ipad2 allowing me to listen to sermons in a room while working on something (or as I commute to work) and not needing headphones - something the smaller ipods didn't allow as much unless plugged into a dock.