My grandmother was a very positive influence on my life. She is the example that I try to follow as I think about how I want to be a grandmother to my grandchildren. She always made me feel safe, heard, unconditionally loved, included, and seen. I had a bit of a chaotic childhood - nothing too serious but being a child of divorce means a certain level of chaos and unpredictability that all children in that setting must navigate. My grandmother was a constant in my life during that time.
I remember how she would rock me. She was so comfortable and safe to lay on and she would rock so soothingly while singing or humming. She never complained when I would sneak my hand up under the dishtowels that covered her freshly baked homemade buns - even when I ate A LOT of them. I remember waking up in the hospital in the middle of the night when I was very little (either when I had Spinal Meningitis or one of the times I had a kidney infection) and she was sitting there on the right side of my crib/bed in a chair and acted happy and encouraging when I said I had to get up to use the bathroom. She did not act like I was a bother or that she was exhausted or frustrated I woke her while she trying to sleep in a hard chair. She just smiled and used a tone of voice that made me feel like she was present with me, not just physically there. Always encouraging. Always smiling. Always giving her complete attention. I know my dad also sat with me overnight during some of those nights but for some reason I don't remember him doing it lol! (although I do remember the man who would bring my breakfast and he always snuck me extra hard boiled eggs with extra salt and pepper - a food I never ate other than in the hospital until I had cravings for them while pregnant with Buddy lol!!) When I would have sleepovers at her house I would lay in an old green sleeping bag on the floor beside her and grandpa's bed and she would put her hand down for me to hold until I fell asleep.
I remember, as I got older, the fireworks at one of her sister's houses - the whole family together. I would get to lay on her lap and watch them. I was the oldest grandchild and, aside from my brother who is 2 1/2 years younger than me, since I was 7 or 8 before another grandchild came along, I did not have to share her during those years:) Grandma and her 3 sisters that lived close (and sometimes the 4th) and many of their kids would have such fun picnics in the park in the summertime. Her nieces and nephews would water ski and it was such a special treat for me when I got to ride in the boat.
Grandma sang in the church choir. She always sat in the front of the church in the choir loft. I remember as a little girl I snuck out of the pew dad, my brother, and I were sitting in - and crept up the isle to sit by my grandma - right during the sermon. I sat in a chair right next to her up in the choir loft until church was over. I loved listening to her sing. Music was, obviously, important to her and she paid for me to take piano lessons from a woman that she went to school with. A woman with amazing piano skills. Pearl taught me lessons for several years and Grandma had me play pieces for her for several family gatherings, anniversaries, etc. I enjoyed playing but was so nervous playing in front of other people. I remember that I played for my other grandparent's 45 anniversary. I was so incredibly nervous and as soon as I got done I ran out. My grandma just held me while I cried my nerves out. Oh the memories lol!
Grandma was a great cook. She made so many big meals for the family get togethers. But my favorite was her lefse. One of her sisters married a Norwegian man and they made lefse together for him. It was such an honor to me that as an adult Grandma taught me how to make lefse, and now I make it with my children. They all insist on having it for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Grandma's mom passed away when she was, I think, 18 or 19. She was the 4th of 5 sisters. The sisters were all very close since they did not have their mom as the "glue." It was a privilege that I got to get to know my great aunts - 4 of the sisters all lived in the same town. I hope that my children want to be as close as my grandmother was with her sisters.
As an adult I have heard about the parts of grandma's life that were hard. She had so many adversities she had to overcome. But I never heard about them from her. To me she faced life with an attitude of just "deal with the next thing and the past is in the past." She was quite the peacekeeper, never liking conflict. While I know there is a downside to that perspective (one cannot always avoid conflict), to a kid who dealt with chaos and unpredictability I deeply appreciated the peace that grandma personified.
Grandma and Grandpa were generous with their time and were always willing to serve. They served on so many committees and were leaders in the church and their farming community. I think of the phrase "servant leader" when I think of them.
Grandma and Grandpa were married for 70 years. Grandpa passed away the month before their 71st anniversary and Grandma passed away the month of their 75th. I am glad they will be together to celebrate this year:) Grandma missed Grandpa so much during those years.
I know I only saw Grandma from a grandchild's perspective, which may be covered with very rose-colored classes. But my grandma was a rose to me. Which reminds me that one of the songs that she said she always liked to listen to me play on the piano was The Rose:)
I am so thankful that I got to spend a couple of days with her before she passed away. All 7 of us grandchildren got to say goodbye to her. I was there Thursday and Friday, and she passed away on Sunday while How Great Thou Art was playing and her daughters were reading scripture and praying with her. A peaceful end:)
The church she and Grandpa attended closed a couple of years ago. Therefore, I was not sure how her funeral would go with it being in a church that was not "her" church. Sometimes funerals end up being impersonal in those situations. However, it was a beautiful gospel centered service and the pastor and the musicians clearly knew Grandma and cared for her. My aunt gave a very moving eulogy that captured the heart of grandma well. All of her family and many friends came to celebrate her life.
I am thankful for Grandma's example of loving like Jesus, and I pray that my grandchildren will feel as loved as Grandma made me feel.
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