Tomorrow we drive to see Grace again to discharge her from the facility and transfer her to the long-term group home. She will be there, if she is not removed from the program due to her behavior, an expected 12 months but potentially up to 18 months. The peace and relief at knowing what is happening next is extensive. While we have tried to be intentional about healing and moving forward over the past 13 weeks from "Hurricane Grace" we have kept an eye on the horizon for when it may return. Now that we have a more permanent timeline it allows us to plan more effectively.
I am quite the planner. In fact, Beautiful has introduced me to the idea of the Enneagram. At first I thought it was...not worth looking into. But she kept sending me little quotes here and there and got me interested. Then I took the test. Well, actually, I didn't even need to take the test as I knew from those quotes what "type" I was - and after I took the test found that I am lol! Being a type 1-5 is helping me understand more about why I interact with my kids (and spouse) the way that I do. It has helped me to appreciate our communication and perspective differences more - and helped me to be more patient with everyone in my family who is NOT like I am - except Buddy. He is a 5. That is probably why I have felt like he and I are the most alike lol!
Anyway, I have had off work from 12/25 to 1/5 and I am learning that my "5" is really coming out to play. And needed to. I have done practically nothing except retreat (I have literally left my house only to attend church-that is twice in the past 9 days). I am an introvert so this time with just the family has been incredibly refreshing. I used to dread the days home with the kids because there was so much chaos and....unpeacefulness. And while I will admit there were some spots this week where I had to be a "1" and get kids back in line, for the most part it has just been so peaceful. I. am. relaxed. I haven't felt this relaxed in years and years. As much as it is sad to me, the reality is it is because the hurricane is not rolling through the house. I am coming to terms with accepting that, and refusing to feel guilty about it.
This week I have read tons of books. All fiction. All happy outcomes. No angst or yuck (I get enough of real angst at work, I need a total retreat from reality). I have put together lots of puzzles. I even played the piano! I usually only play over the Christmas season and have enjoyed the relaxation it provides. I hope to do it more. It was just too chaotic and noisy to play much before... But also...I got my ENTIRE "to do" list done! Even making a website for work (yes, this technologically incapable person made an extremely simple website lol!) and all the year end paperwork. Then I retreated from all work and just let myself exist with the family. I even had two days where I wore my pjs all day:) Of course, I worked out for an hour upon waking, then showered and put on clean pjs. But, they were still pj days lol! We started a new Bible reading plan and devotional as a family. We are all competing with our fitbits on how many steps a day we can get in. I made a rule (hey, I am, after all, a "1" lol!) that if they don't get a certain number of steps a day they get no electronics the next day. I even tried out the new Dribble Up I got the kids to hone their basketball skills - let's just say that I wasn't good at sports as a kid...and I am not athletic now! With that said, I have worked myself up to running 4+ miles every morning (indoors) and I am determined to keep up with that even with my crazy busy work schedule. I am a sucker for competition - and every day my iwatch tells me that I have earned an award for "1 more day in a row of hitting my exercise goal" makes me never want to not reach that goal lol!
We have played board and card games. The kids have watched TV (am not a TV person. I am preparing to cancel our satellite TV in March after the Olympics. Superman is very anxious that we will miss out on NFL football. The problem is that we only get every 3-4 Vikings games a season anyway so why are we paying for it? If anyone has suggestions on how to subscribe to a channel to get the Vikings games without having to go through DirecTV I would appreciate it. We have Dish and clearly can't get the games on there...
While I have rested a lot, my husband has been amazing and done a lot. He spent almost 24 hours replacing our water softener (buying it, having to go buy more parts, installation, etc) which has not been working correctly for months. He also finally replaced the ceiling fans in the bathrooms that have not worked for, well, one of them for years. He appreciates that I am home and can take care of the kids while he can work and not have to stop to feed them or stop a fight:) I appreciate that he does not complain about me resting (he has seen my crossed out "to do" list;) He even finished getting the garage cleaned out so we can park our new van in there lol!
Anyway. I am already getting anxious about going back to work. I felt so much guilt for taking a week off of work, now I don't want to go back lol! January will be a crazy busy month with the boys in basketball and me working a lot. Thankfully we should not have to be driving as much to see Grace during this transition month - I think just tomorrow and next Thursday. That will help:)
God has been so tangible this Christmas. Rather than us being run ragged with scheduling or chaos in the family, it has been a time of sweet rest. Thank you Jesus!!
No comments:
Post a Comment