Humbled by a homeless man...

I went to pick up bread today from the Old Home Outlet and was very disappointed to see that they are closing the store permanently this Saturday...and their credit card machine was broken.  So, I got as much cash together as I had and found every coin in my car so I could buy as much as possible.  As I was counting out the coins a man walked in, bought something small, and paid.  He then pulled out $2 and put it on my pile.  I assured him that I did not need the money, but he kept his eyes averted, refused to take it back, and left.  The cashier informed me that the man used to be homeless and she used to give him food from the store for free.  She thought he was "giving back."

God has been working hard on my heart this past week (well, a long time, but I really have been hearing it loudly this week).  I thought about all of the things that He was teaching me in this simple transaction.

1)  I was very embarrassed to accept this mans help.  I felt badly that I know I make more money than him, yet he gave to my bread fund freely.  I thought about my pride in that I do not like to accept help.  I wondered briefly about what he thought of me.  Did he think I could not pay my bill?  I was just trying to buy all of the bread I could...not that I could not buy the bread...  But more than that I felt that I should be serving others and not let others serve me.

2)  That got me thinking about the lessons this week I learned about God providing such loving families who want to love on our children.  I usually think that I should be able to handle them myself.  Or that my children and their "uniqueness" may be a burden on others so I don't accept help.  This week I let others care for my children and while it was outside of the box for me and how they were cared for was not "my" way, it was a HUGE blessing to my kids.  The people tell me it was even a blessing to them to be with my kids!  I do not want to be seen as a parent who pawns off my kids on others...they are my responsibility.  But am I denying blessings in my...yet again...pride?  Blessings to myself, my children, and to others?  God is saying "yes."

3)  Finally, I had just heard a horrific story of abuse in another country where it is the norm that this abuse occurs.  I was sickened by human sin...and this man gave me a bit of hope back for humanity.

So, today, I was greatly humbled by a Big God who spoke to me through a once homeless man who did not utter any words but simply gave to me freely... I'm glad I was listening:)