I have been deeply blessed by some of you helping to watch kids, or bring a meal, or give a note of encouragement. It has been very sweet and very much appreciated! I have had others ask how they can help. That has led me to a wide variety of thoughts which I thought I would share here (since nothing I do can every be easy you know lol!)
Thought 1: Are you able to go back in time and prevent my brother in laws head injury 2+ weeks ago? no. Can you field the myriad of phone calls that take my husband an average of 2 hours a day to deal with updating and planning with people for his brother's discharge from the hospital? no. Can you take the stress of this off of his shoulders? no.
Thought 2: Can you go to Assisted Living every two days where his mother resides to unpack and repack her wound since the AL nurses are not allowed to do this care and if my husband couldn't do it either we would have to get her to the clinic 3x a week for this or transfer her to the nursing home until the wound is healed. no. (by the way, her wound is healing very nicely since the debreeding, AND the CAT scan and ultrasound show diminished circulation but at least enough for continued function at this point). Can you go back in time and have my MIL take better care of her body and diabetes? no.
Thought 3: Can you go back 15 years and prevent the issue for which I needed the surgery in the first place? no.
Thought 4: Am I capable of cooking? yes. Am I capable of supervising the children so the house gets cleaned? yes. Can I keep the children occupied? yes. Can I keep them from fighting and hurting each other? No, but I can't do that when functioning 100% lol! (boy am I glad I waited until school was out!!)
Thought 5: The issue really comes down to time and energy.
I am surprised by how tired I am. I have heard that it takes 6 mo for general anesthesia to wear off. I don't know if that is true or not but I am really tired. I also had to quit taking my supplements 2 weeks prior to the surgery so now they are rebuilding back up in my system. My body is also recovering from the surgery. I take a nap most days. Even after 2 1/2 hours of dead to the world sleep I wake up tired. My pain levels aren't bad by any definition, but I can tell when I have been on my feet too much. I quit taking the pain meds several days ago not wanting the hang over effect and the pain just isn't bad enough to actually take any meds for at this point. I should not lift anything over 10 lbs. I am tender to the kids touching/running into me. The baby certainly has noticed that his mama is not able to carry him anymore!
Thought 6: My husband and I have not had time to process, talk, and pray about all of the things that have happened over the past 3 weeks on a consistent basis. Before the surgery we went on a 2 mile walk daily and used that time to have uninterrupted time to talk and process and plan. I don't have the endurance to do that now (although we are attempting daily SLOW walks) and there is no other way to be kid free around here lol! That has made both of us out of sync with day to day runnings of our chaotic home so things are not running as smoothly as they could.
So I guess what it really comes down to is: There are a lot of things that are making life more complicated right now besides just my recovering from surgery that is making this time extra stressful. Your lives are stressful too! Could we make this if no one helped at all. Absolutely. Would it be very appreciated if the Lord put it on your heart and you did help? Yes!!!
So, realistically what would be the most helpful? Either helping with a meal or taking one of the middle kids for a time.
Today the kids were ecstatic when someone gave us a bucket of home made chocolate chip cookies. In fact, one response was, "you didn't make these? Then they will be GOOD!" Yes, not only do I not have the energy to do extra baking right now but apparently my children are tired of my healthy cooking experiments;)
It goes without saying that the 3 middles require the most of our energy...well...actually just one of them. Taking her is a feat and I wouldn't expect just anyone to take her on, but if you take one of the other 2 it diminishes the daily damage she can inflict:) They love to feel special and unique. They (and we) are always so blessed when someone will take them under their wing to show them just how precious they are. We don't have family in this state so the loving that kids usually get from grandparents, playing with cousins, etc is not available to them. Having special friends (surrogate "grandparents," adults, or kids) whom they can connect with regularly really is important to them. I know it takes time and effort to sow into a child. We are so happy for someone who does this for Faith already. Quite honestly, we are praying for someone for Superman like this. If God puts on your heart to do this for them, please let us know:)
It is hard for me to ask for or accept help. In my pride I want to say that I can do it all. But, I cannot. I am so thankful for those in the Body of Christ to come around us during this time, and I very much covet your prayers for this season (actually, for the many seasons to come too).
BTW, if you have chosen to read this far I will add a side note. I have not said what my surgery was for as it is an embarrassing topic. During the time time before the surgery one point of considerable anxiety for me was that I knew of no one else who had this surgery since it is a topic NO ONE discusses. I have talked to a few ladies since the surgery who have admitted the same problem. I realize it is quite wide spread. I want to encourage those ladies to get help too and not live with a diminished quality of life just because of our experiences that have brought on this affliction along with tremendous blessing.
So...let me just say that...in 15 years I have never been so thrilled after I have sneezed;) Yes, ladies, you know what I mean:)
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