I have written this post in my head many times over the past several months. It is hard to admit when things are hard. I also desire to not embarrass my children. However, I have decided to write about living with a child with ADHD to encourage others who have children with ADHD. For those of you who have followed my blog for a time, you will probably recall comments that I make about our "wild child." We went through screaming for hours, not sleeping, bullying, energy through the roof, utter disobedience, head spinning impulsiveness, and total exhaustion. We really wanted to help her without having to resort to medication. We her her adjusted by a chiropractor monthly for 3 years. We tried lots of supplements, etc. We prayed. We disciplined. We "tomato stake" her (I read a mom's blog on this once about keeping your "difficult" children close to you at all times like one needs to constantly keep a tomato staked to help it grow to it's best potential."
We still do all of these things. But...we also added.........medication. Yes. We did it. We did the unthinkable and give our child Ritalin every day. I had such trepidation. I felt like such a failure as a mom. She was making everyone's life incredibly difficult and was bullying (physically and emotionally) her age mates that have significant abuse histories. They were regressing and beginning to act out themselves. It was time. It was necessary. I felt like I was "sacrificing" her for the sake of the family. During this a wise person told me that it probably was not very comfortable for her to be bouncing off of walls either and perhaps the medication would help her feel better about her...
He was right...
She is a totally different child on the medication. She sits for 30 - 45 minutes at a time now. She LOVES to color!!!! In the past of she sat to color she would be coloring on everyone else's pages, flipping through her book all of the time not finishing a page. Of course getting up all of the time and running around. She doesn't hit the other children as often now. She is more "motherly" and gentle. We have discovered that art is an area of giftedness for her. She draws things that actually look like what she is trying to draw lol! She colors beautifully. She is clearly calmer and feels better about herself (not to mention she isn't being disciplined every 5 minutes - that must help lol!!) I will admit that she continues to be the child we have to keep our eye on the most lol!
For those of you wondering what we have done...here you go.
1) We maintain chiropractor visits every 1 - 2 months. This helps.
2) We have her on many supplements:
Ambrotose, Phyte Aloe, Acidophilus, Multi-vitamin, Vitamin C, an anti-fungal to kill fungal/yeast overgrowth in her gut (grapefruit seed extract), and the most important...DHA. We have her on 1100 mg of DHA a day. When she first started the DHA we noticed that if we said "smile for the picture" she actually smiled long enough to get the picture taken instead of getting distracted and running off right away or fighting us. And, while we are waiting for these things to work on her biology for long term improvement...
3) she is on Ritalin. We have her on a low dose and do it 2x a day. We tried the suspended release at the same dose but she was far more agitated on it, bedtimes included temper tantrums again, and we didn't see the calmness we saw on the immediate release. We could have upped the dose but decided to just go back to the twice daily dose and see how the summer goes.
4) I read a book from Focus on the Family called something like "ADHD doesn't have to mean Disaster." It was a very good book who helped me to see her outside of my box:)
5) we had her formally evaluated and diagnosed with ADHD...she scored out at the 95 - 99 percentile of behaviors (we knew that lol!!!)
One of the biggest lessons for me was: ADHD is REAL. I had secretly believed in the past that ADHD behaviors could be curbed with good, consistent, and thorough parenting. While I still believe that some ADHD behaviors can be fixed with that...not our child. That was very humbling...
The other big lesson for me: ADHD medication can curb impulsiveness, distractibility, and agitation...but it does not effect the strong willed personality that defines our child:) It is just that now the discipline to help her learn to submit to God's will and our will hopefully sinks in and is considered before it flies out her other ear lol!
Is life perfect now? No:) Do we still need to remind her to look at us and hear what we are saying? Yes:) Do we still need to talk extra loud to get her attention? Yes:) Do we still "tomato stake"? Absolutely yes!!!!! Do we trust her outside of our sight? A little bit more:) Does she still bully? Yes. Does she still insist on doing life her way? Of course:) But...considering what the past 3 years have looked like...this is bearable!!!
Finally, we also have been constantly reminded that God made her. He gifted her. He loves her. He has a plan for her. She is such a precious child. She has amazing gifts of art and motherliness ( in fact, it is usually her desire to "mother" the other children that results in her "making" them obey her lol!!!). We will wait on the Lord, trusting Him for each step...and being thankful that for now the medication is giving us an appreciated reprieve:)
We got new carpet!!! Our orange 30 year old dirty nasty stuff is gone and the new carpet is installed. I have enjoyed organizing and getting rid of a lot of things - especially since the two oldest kids' bedrooms were involved lol! JJ loves his siblings and they love being loved on:)
Beautiful completed her 9 months of Bible Instruction Class with a "final" of being asked questions for 40 minutes in front of the church of all that they learned (along with her 9 classmates). She did very well and we are praying that God will solidify what she learned in her heart and grow much fruit. She is so precious to us!
And finally, Beautiful is playing softball again:) She is pitcher and first baseman. We LOVE watching her play and she has a passion for it. Friday she hit a home run! Besides, I'm really not athletic and if I ever tried anything like her sliding here I'd be in a wheelchair lol!
