Two weeks ago I posted about how things have been getting difficult with Grace again. We have had ups and downs the past two weeks. Thursday we had her parent/teacher conference and once again I was amazed that they have zero behavior problems with her at school. In fact, they have to encourage her to answer questions in class. That is so different from at home where she is always interrupting and argues with us about EVERYTHING insisting that her answer is the correct one. I have flashes of the future when she is arguing. I can see her standing toe to toe with God: "No, Sir, I did not trip my brother. He ran into me. It was all his fault."
Thursday night she had one of her terrible tantrums. I hate those tantrums. It was bigger than usual.
Anyway, yesterday she had off from school which always fills me with trepidation (especially after Thursday night's behavior). I had decided that the day would be spent actually getting some cleaning done. It was the Perfect Storm for me. I had the uninterrupted time, the energy, the motivation, and kids who were not at each other's throats distracting me from my purposes of cleaning. When that kind of day hits I have to take advantage of it. Faith was, as usual, helpful and asking me how she can help. She often gets the short end of the stick doing more chores than anyone else. She is compliant. Superman takes FOREVER to get his school done - often still working at 7 or 8 at night. Grace flat out refuses to work and it is easier to avoid the temper tantrum. So, I had Faith working on chores while I asked Grace to deep clean her room.
And she did it. Without arguing! I felt like I had won the lottery!
Then we moved all of the furniture in Faith's room. I had Buddy help me do it and he asked me why we were moving furniture. After we moved all of the dressers and bed he understood - she had enough tissues (she suffers from bad allergies) and tiny pieces of ripped up paper to fill to overflowing a wal mart bag lol! We got it all cleaned it up and it was great.
I made home made pizza and popcorn and we watched a movie last night to relax and reward the girls for working so hard (Superman did school until 8:30 and never did get done).
Today the kids played nice (for the most part) for awhile while I wrote a blog post. Then I played a bunch of card games with them. Grace and I made a diorama she had to do for school. She did pretty well today and I have to say it was very nice. So, essentially 2 tolerable days without any major incidents. At supper she was getting verbally out of control and I told her that if she feels like that she needs to remove herself until she can calm down...and she did!
At bedtime, which went better than usual with only minor issues, she stopped me after we prayed and I tucked her in. She apologized for her behavior on Thursday night and admitted that it was horrible. She said, with some insight that we rarely see, that sometimes she lashes out at us the worst when she is actually mad at herself. She said some other things along that line that impressed me in that she was actually thinking through her choices and taking responsibility. A hallmark of Grace's behavior is that she blames every wrong in the world on someone else and WILL NOT stop and see her role in it. Before I left she did try to tell me that my husband takes away her Kindle for 2 days when she has a big tantrum and she thinks she should only lose it for 1 day so "will you please talk to Dad about that for me?" Of course I told her that her major tantrums deserve the loss of Kindle for 2 days and if she doesn't want to lose it she shouldn't have the tantrum. She is completely able to control her behavior at school so I know she is capable - it is a choice. Anyway, aside from that piece that felt a bit manipulative, I was impressed with her insight. We shall see what comes from it:)
Thanks for your continued prayers for her and for our family. God is working. We will persevere. And He will be glorified:)
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