JJ has been sick for over 2 weeks. It is his typical congestive stuff. Thankfully he hasn't been this sick for over a year. We have had a lot of interrupted sleep nights - but I am used to it so it is not affecting me as much as my husband. Today it has really caught up with me though.
One thing that is happening right now is we are trying to figure out what behaviors of JJ's are Apraxia related, and what are just stubborn 4 year old. We are studying his behavior and looking at it from a different angle.
One thing we have learned is that having Grace gone at school really, really calms down the house. I have sat down and thought, "hmmm, this is what other home school moms say school is like." Kids who just quietly and obediently do their school, it gets done early in the day, and they have time to engage in other activities. It is nice.
Especially since Grace is loving school. The day after she came home in tears a teacher sat her and the other girl down and they worked it out. Now Grace comes home talking about the girl and how they are friends. We are so thankful for that. Our other kids pray every day that Grace is not bullied. It seems to be going well right now. Academically are things improving for her? We have her first parent teacher conference tonight. We shall see...
With the calmer household during the day there is so much less arguing and tension in all of the kids (and my husband and I). We are really noticing that with JJ. He isn't as high strung and his frustration tolerance is increasing noticeably - at least during the day.
When he got sick and had a hard time breathing we started nebulizer treatments on him. He fought them like a rabid wildcat. I had to hold him down while someone else held the mask. He fought every second of it and screamed and flailed. My back and legs and arms ached from holding him still so long. And when it was done he would have such a terrified look in his eyes and cling to me like he was trying to crawl inside my skin. We did it twice, then Buddy suggested that I just wait until he is sleeping at night, and do it before he woke up in the morning. That was a good suggestion and it worked great...
Until he isn't sleeping the last 3 days as his illness has gotten worse. Today I held him upright and turned on the nebulizer while he was in my lap. He used his words to yell "it is in my eyes!" I praised him for telling me what exactly the problem was. We shifted things around so I was covering his eyes, sang to him until the treatment was over, and he didn't fight at all. In fact, he fell asleep! That was a very good reminder to me that he has sensory issues that make him fight us, not just strong-willed rebellion. I hope that he will remember to use his words to tell us what is wrong in the future so we can address it.
But, so many times he can't find the right words or he can't get us to understand what he is saying. We have watched A LOT of Disney cartoons over the past week. I have found some new ones that I actually like lol! Anyway, once he was trying to tell me what he wanted to watch next and the word, as we would expect him to speak, sounded like "airship." He kept saying it and I kept saying words that I thought he was saying and he just got more and more frustrated. I finally figured out that he was saying "elephant!" He thankfully calmed as soon as I guessed the right word. I was confused about it as he had started calling that show "Badu" so I assumed that he was talking about a different show when he used "airship." He must have forgotten "Badu" or just wanted to try "elephant" again. Who knows.
There have been a couple of times that he has actually tried to describe or use a different word to get us to understand rather than just start yelling at us. I am pleased with that verbal flexibility that he is showing.
These things have helped me to understand his frustration more - that he feels like he is trapped inside his body and can't get his needs met. He has been talking more and describing more since therapy started. That makes me excited for his progress:)
Sitting on my lap for hours and hours and hours the past week I have watched him play his kindle games, water paint, etc. He has had several times when he really surprised me with evidence that he understood something that I didn't think he understood - just because he can't verbalize it.
This morning it was when he was making himself a "boy" on his game. It started with selecting the shape of his hair. He picked "african" hair and even got his hair color and skin color and the number "4" for his age selected correctly! I got thinking about how he sees himself. Because he hasn't been able to communicate well with us, nor can he do as many fine motor skill activities as a typical 4 year old, I have thought of him as so much younger and therefore not understanding more abstract concepts. I am so excited to see these things in him and it helps me to remember that this is a motor skill problem, not an intelligence problem. How to teach/expect with that dynamic? I guess we are learning that...
I was so, so, so glad that he took his antibiotic today without spitting it back out on me like yesterday. He doesn't tolerate medicines well as he hates the texture and taste. He does like dimetap - he calls it the "juice medicine" lol! We calmly approached him with his antibiotic today, told him that he could watch is favorite Disney show and chase it down with some Sunkist if he took it with no problem...and he agreed! Yay! Normally no matter what we bribe him with it makes no difference and the fight is on, but today it worked! Any battle won with minimal fight with him (or Grace) is a relief:)
So, while this illness has been unpleasant for us all, it has provided some unique opportunities for us to intentionally study JJ in a different light and learn some things about how he thinks, what he knows, and how to interact with him that will hopefully lower his frustration and keep us from having to endure his temper tantrums - as some of them at least seem to be more sensory related than willful.
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