Last night JJ did something that made me cry. I know that it seems silly, and I am sleep deprived so it probably touched me more, but it was a momentous moment.
He asked me, "Mommy, can you make me waffles?"
Of course, I didn't know what the word "waffles" was (he cannot say "f" at all). I turned off the TV and asked him to repeat it a couple of times to try to understand. Thankfully, Superman was there and interpreted for me.
Waffles.
It is, I believe, the very FIRST time that JJ has EVER initiated asking for a novel food. EVER. Usually he will hear us talking about a food and ask for it, or drag us through the kitchen and point at things since he doesn't know the name. The only other foods he will ever ask for are cheerios and milk. Those are habit. Those are retrievable. He asked for a novel food! He retrieved a novel word!
After I hugged him and praised him for asking I, of course, told him that I would make it right away. Never mind that Buddy had already finished making supper - spaghetti and garlic bread. He retrieved and used his words...he was rewarded! AND...after several days of not eating because of being sick (he has consumed A LOT of freeze pops;) He even ate 6 bites of one waffle:)
I had to hug my husband and just cry a bit. It was a sweet moment of progress:)
Allow me to bunny trail:
One thing I have learned in my profession, is that a cluster of symptoms does not a person make. When I look at the list of symptoms of ADHD, then I look at my child, it does not even begin to describe what it is like to actually live with this child. What her behavior actually looks like. Interrupting? Doesn't organize well? Leaves her seat often? Sure. But the arguing and fighting and noise level and lying and lack of trustworthiness and, and, and...the list of symptoms doesn't even come close to describing her.
I had her first parent teacher conference last night. It is always amazing to me how she goes to other people and presents herself as a child who listens and follows through and...is nothing like the child we see at home. I am so glad for other blogging moms who talk about this phenomenon so that I can endure the comments and thoughts of others who think that something must just be wrong in our home for her to act the way that she does with us and not with "strangers." We are not alone. Other parents of kids with her issues (whichever one is the problem: attachment issues, ADHD, whatever) endure this. We can too...because we are not alone. Someone else out there understands! It is a good reminder to me that when a parent brings me a child and in my office the child is not what the parent claims the child to be...that I need to trust and believe the parent!
Anyway, I know that JJ actually saying "I want waffles" is probably not a big deal to any one of you who read this, but for someone other there it may be a word of encouragement and understanding. Just like the mom who posted about the frustration of everyone thinking that when she talks about her child's behavioral problems the teachers think she has 3 heads and is crazy just because the child doesn't act like that at school. Those words meant a lot to me. I resonated with that. I was glad she took the time to blog about it.
"I want waffles" was a moment that I will treasure:) I don't think I will ever think of waffles the same way again lol!
*******************************************
Then we had a more typical moment in our home. I went into the bathroom and discovered that someone had thrown a hand towel behind the toilet. I grabbed it and found an item that had been ripped apart and "investigated" before attempting to hide the evidence.
It is hard to have older and younger children in the same house...
Younger children end up being curious about older children items...
So I sat the Middles down at the table and said, "who did this" and sat down the dissected item (well, it was items by then). The child whom I already knew did it stared at me with the deer in the headlights look, then admitted it (progress...for that child).
We addressed the issue without actually using the name of the item as the problem was not with the item itself and the Middles left. As the kids were leaving, Grace said to Beautiful, "So, what is a coupon anyway?"
Beautiful and I could not stop from laughing...although we tried. Beautiful gave the definition of a coupon and we decided to just let it go at that. Yep...a coupon.
*****************************
I have now gone 4 nights with minimal and very, very interrupted sleep. I am starting to get a little punchy. And a lot irritable. This morning I was thinking about the old tootsie roll commercial where the owl asks "How many licks does it take to get the the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?" I was thinking..."How many nights of interrupted and pathetic sleep does it take for me to lose my mind?" Four.
I was able to take a nap yesterday, but since JJ did not want to be without me he stayed with me. I had him settled with Beautiful and had just got settled and almost to sleep when he came crying and banging at the door. So...we got 2 hours of semi-sleep.
Last night he asked to go to sleep at 8:30. Unheard of. He still feels incredibly yucky. However, when he sleeps he can hardly breathe so he wakes up at least every 15 minutes and that sleep is very, very restless. He made it in his own bed for 2 hours - which means that my husband and I got 2 hours of interrupted sleep:) Anyway, he was laying between us all restless and started talking a lot in he sleep. He has never done that before and it was hilarious. One of the things he kept saying was, "Buddy! Buddy! Buddy! Not that guy!!!" Obviously he was dreaming of playing Super Smash. It was very funny.
We had eye appointments for 4 of us this morning. we thought he would be better by today so we didn't cancel them. After much discussion we decided to bring him with and he just sat on the couch next to me and played his ipad. He did a great job. Everyone was given a clean bill of eye health. My husband and I haven't had eye exams since we were in junior high so it was probably time:) We are thankful we don't need glasses...and the kids are thankful that we got our eyes dilated. They are laughing like crazy and the Middles thought it was a riot to have to read our texts, etc since we can't see. Even typing this now I am not able to see the letters, just the shapes of the words. Beautiful thinks I look like the kids that Lochi put under a spell in The Avengers...
I even had odd thought when we were complimented. At the end of sitting for 2 hours for eye appointments the receptionist told me at least 5 times what self-controlled and well behaved kids that we have. I laughed and said "Thank you," thinking about what she would think if we had another kid with us. She said "good job" about parenting them and it really was an odd hurtful moment. Superman and Faith are just really obedient kids in public. They are quiet and docile. It has nothing to do with our parenting. JJ just happens to be really sick so he was not up to arguing too much (he begged me to go home 1/2 way through and started getting upset but I was able to talk him through it - quite frankly he was too sick to be bad). While I appreciated the woman's comments about our parenting supposedly impacting the kids sitting quietly for 2 hours (aside from when they were in their appointments and they were respectful and kind), it just made me think about what people think on days when we have Grace with, or when JJ is more keyed up. I have seen kids have no parental supervision and act poorly...but I also know that despite our parental supervision we have kids who act poorly. It shouldn't be us getting the praise...it is the kids choosing obedience.
Alrighty then...I am rambling and probably not making my point at all...
*******************
I need a nap now. Thankfully Buddy has JJ occupied with Super Smash Bros and I should get some uninterrupted sleep:) I sure hope his fever breaks soon and he gets over this!
Please pray that he is healed very, very soon. He is losing weight and just feels terrible (he has already lost 4 lbs:( ). I need sleep (imagine how many more rambling and crazy posts I'll type out if I don't lol!). And we must attend this weekend's event. It is my grandparent's 70th wedding anniversary and we haven't seen the family in years...
No comments:
Post a Comment