If you just want the Cliff's Notes version of it, here it is: my husband and I were selfish, naive, depraved, and utterly lost when we met. We married, had our 1st child (which really prompted us to start thinking about if there was a God and if so what was our response supposed to be to that), came to know the Lord as our Savior and the depth of our sinfulness, and He began a work in us. We now understand that marriage is about putting God first, and giving sacrificially and selflessly even when we don't want to. We work to communicate the depths of our hearts with one another in a very vulnerable way, and realize what a gift it is to serve and connect with one another so fully. We try hard to not take each other for granted, to stop when we are upset with the other's sin and first remember our own sinfulness, and to seek to understand before being understood. We have also learned to anticipate one another and seek out ways to surprise, serve, encourage, and remind one another that we love the other (I particularly enjoy when my husband surprises me with chocolate...when I get an almond chocolate bar or Reese's Peanut Butter cup I know that I have obviously been acting extra stressed and he is gently reminding me to regroup:).
The loooooong version...
A few weekends ago it was 22 years since my husband and I met. We married 2 1/2 years later. I look back to the mistakes we made back then and marvel that we even made it. We married in July of 1995 after my 1st year of graduate school. Beautiful was born just under 2 years later after I finished my coursework and we headed to Kentucky where I did my 1 year pre-doctoral internship. I think those years (post marriage, not the dating time so much) were fairly good - for a couple of non-believers. Much of it has faded into highlighted memories. I laugh at myself in an embarrassed way when I think about how I tried to change my husband back then. I was studying to become, and became a Psychologist. Yes, groan. How is a man supposed to be himself when he has his woman analyzing him all of the time lol!?!
When we met our initial connection was about shared loss. I had lost a close friend in a drinking and driving car accident a few years before and he had lost his brother in a drinking and driving car accident 8 years before. Both of us had grown up with families that weren't the most...healthy. We didn't have good examples for marriage, life, or grieving. Neither of us were saved despite attending church regularly from young childhood to later teen hood. He was a very quiet man who had a great depth of emotion. I felt that my emotions of my losses were understood by him and I felt safe sharing my vulnerabilities with him. We did everything wrong. But, we moved forward to marriage and "life."
After Beautiful was born I worked (well, I was on internship initially, but then we moved to our current location and I worked full time) and my husband stayed home with her. We had decided that before we got married. He has been a very playful and fun dad.
However, we hadn't taken the time to really think about our differences in personality. We had the same goals, we shared grief, but all of that middle "process" stuff is completely, totally, utterly as opposite as you can get. I am a talker/thinker and he is quiet/emotional. Yep, that has led to a lot of needing to learn how to navigate realities and decision making. I roll my eyes even now when I think of how I tried to change him to be more like me. After all, talking and thinking is the "better" way to do life, right? So, we muddled through life for years bound by our commitment to our marriage and our common goals. I would say that my heart probably has changed the most and my changes have probably made our marriage healthier more than anything my husband changed. While he has certainly become a "better" man over the years I think that I was the one most wrong who needed to change. I thought I would share some of the pivotal moments. Some of those touch points that served to change the direction of our marriage. Some will seem trivial to you but they meant something to us.
I remember not liking how he washed the table. It used to drive me absolutely NUTS to watch him wash a table. I finally asked myself "what is the point here?" "Is the table clean when he is done?" "Then...what is the problem exactly?" I chose to just remove myself from the room when he washed the table. It was my problem, not his. He still washes the table the same way...and I still don't watch;)
When I would leave for work when we only had 1, then 2 kids (prepare for more laughter and eye rolling) I had made out a schedule for taking care of the kids. What to eat for breakfast, what kinds of enrichment activities they should be involved in, what types of things the kids should be learning, etc. I would get home and my husband would be laying on the floor wrestling, laughing, and playing with the kids...ACCOMPLISHING NOTHING! The nerve of that guy! I am so thankful that God finally knocked me aside the head and told me that what was important was NOT if they knew their numbers and letters but it was about relationship. My husband has a great relationship with our kids (particularly the 2 oldest when he actually had the time to just lay on the floor with them:) The kids are blessed to have a father who does the fun stuff with them because their mother is decidedly NOT a fun parent (hence my nick name - the "fun sucker").
We came to know the Lord as our personal Lord and Savior around the time that Buddy was born. God was really working on us. He moved us to this state, this town, this house that conveniently had neighbors who listened to Him and gently suggested that church that was right across the street would be a perfect one to try out. We attended weekly from the first Sunday we lived here despite not being saved and the sermons covering material that neither of us wanted to hear. God worked hard to pull us in and change our extremely dead and rebellious hearts and we are so thankful! It was during that time that we were taught about Biblical principles of marriage and parenting. I am also thankful for the people who put up with my biased, uneducated, and shallow thoughts on so many topics. God grew me...he continues to grow me.
In 2002 we became foster parents and in 2006 Grace came into our lives at age 4 months. That process was painful - to watch her go back and forth with visitations as part of the reunification plan for 18 months. So painful. We were so naive! Then we tried to adopt from Liberia and were matched with 4 kids total, none of whom we got to bring home. Weeks after we found out about us probably not getting to bring home the 2nd two children we got a call from foster care about 2 kids who needed an adoption placement right away. They had been in the system for just under 2 years. We said "yes" and Superman and Faith joined us then in 2008 - the month they turned 2 and 3 (Grace had turned 2 the previous month). Life was CRAZY. We were in total survival mode. Three toddlers is not a recommended idea! We feel that it took us a good 5 years to really get our feet under us. Special needs. Painful pasts. Birth parent "stuff." Bio kid/adopted kid stuff. Financial stuff. Will the kids be returned to their bio parents are stay with us? stuff. Being spread too thin... I had quit my full time job in 2005 and had started a private practice in 2003. My husband bought and opened a picture framing store that he then operated for 5 years. It was intense. Again total survival mode. During this time my husband and I had common goals and values, we didn't really realize we were in survival mode. We were just...surviving. My husband has an attitude of just "go with the flow" and I have an attitude of "put one foot in front of the other." Thus, our marriage just continued forward. We were energized by watching the fingerprints of God in the adoptions, various trials we experienced, etc. We had our share of trials during that time. The most intense was probably April 2007 when my uncle died, our attached garage burned down and was 2 minutes from taking the house, and all of the ensuing home construction/remodel that is still ongoing 7 years later, and my father in law died. That was before Superman and Faith came and in hindsight was a blessing for various reasons but sure was hard!
I think that the biggest lesson that I learned during that 5 year "survival" timeframe was that our children were not ours. Something about watching the ups and downs of the adoption process being orchestrated by our sovereign God, then to make sense of our adopted children's grief and loss of their bio families made me hold my hands a little looser and remind myself constantly that they are God's children. I realize that while I have them for a short time and have a Biblical responsibility to teach and guide them, He is ultimately in control of their hearts and their futures. It is humbling. I have never been so humbled about my own unimportance as parenting has forced me to learn about myself. This helped me to see myself and my husband more realistically and changed our marriage as I quit placing so much pressure on myself (still a problem I battle with though).
We were in a Bible study in 2010 that was life changing for me. I learned so much about a deeper personal relationship with Christ. I learned so much more about my identity in Christ. I learned so much more about my value in Christ. Through the course of that Bible study I learned that I am loveable. I had not learned that before. I knew that I was loved but to actually grasp the concept that I was loveable because of who I am to Christ rather than what I do was foundation shaking for me. I had been told that before, but I had not owned that before. I am a doer. I had always been taught (not necessarily outright) that my value came from my actions. Much peace and perspective change came when I finally accepted as truth that God loves me for me...not what I do (and in fact that my actions are a stench to Him if not done with the right heart).
In 2009 (probably sporadically before that) until 2011 I suffered intensely with a herniated disk (the lowest disk on the spine). I did not get it diagnosed properly until July of 2010. I was in pain levels comparable to childbirth pain. During that time God really hammered home to me (because it takes a long time and an incredible amount of obvious chiseling/jack hammering for me to really get things) that what I do does not determine my value...because I could do practically nothing. I was able to go to work and sit (in pain). But I could not vacuum, wash the dishes, or do almost any household chore to serve my family without a lot of pain. The pain would be progressively better though out the day but the nights/mornings were agonizing. I literally could not roll over in bed. I would cry having to get up in the morning. I dreaded going to bed at night because I knew the very next sensation I would feel was horrible (such began my not sleeping through the night which hasn't ended yet!). I think that I herniated it by bending over the bathtub, toilet, car seats, highchairs, strollers, etc in triplicate every time. Not to mention just carrying, holding, rocking, etc. And, of course, our highly ADHD "energizer bunny hooked to a car battery" child was a contributor. Anyway, I learned that the dusting didn't have to be done every week (and now if it gets done quarterly I am feeling pretty good about it!). The vacuuming had to be done less thoroughly than I would like (it being done by a child). The laundry could be done by just having 1 basket per kid and dumping the whole thing in at once (who really needs to sort lights from darks?). If you look at my house now you would wonder if I have always been a terrible housekeeper. Most of it came from the time that I couldn't...and learned to loosen up a bit (a lot).
A huge change came in our marriage at that time. When I couldn't, my husband would. I think he was always willing but I was always telling him how what he did was not good enough. I have spent too many years of my marriage openly telling my husband that what he has done has not been up to par. I always thought that I was the one who had to hold it together and the standard has to always be raised higher and higher. God took me out of the equation and despite the trial of the pain I am so thankful for the shift it allowed in our marriage. It has allowed him to come into his own, for him to try out his many gifts without my interference, and for me to learn to appreciate them (even washing off the table;)
In August 2010 JJ came. Yes, less than 1 month after I was finally diagnosed with the herniated disk and started traction and treatments 3x a week. When JJ came home I could not even lift 10 lbs. It has been a blessing that he was only 5 lbs at birth and has grown so slowly! Getting out of bed at night to nurse him as I was trying to get my milk in as a nursing adoptive parent (and therefore would not take any pain medication) was horrible. I will never forget my husband up trying to keep JJ calm while it would take me over 10 minutes, in tears, to get out of bed and lower myself into a chair to nurse him. I could not sit up in bed and JJ couldn't figure out how to nurse while I was laying down. For months and months after he came I could do little more than sit and rock him most days (although I had some more mobile days in there too:). Perhaps that is why he is such a cuddly kid and hasn't figured out how to start detaching yet lol!
We have had quite a few rocky times just due to kids' needs. When one has a difficult child(ren) it affects all of the rest of the kids, not just the parents. Adopting children affects any biological children who are already in the home. Kids feel left out, abandoned, misunderstood, and all kinds of yuck. A couple of years ago our oldest made some choices that taught her about the evil of this world and have permanently scarred her heart/trust of others and completely rocked my husband's and my opinions on a lot of things. To respect her privacy I will not go into any details. However, it was very painful and probably more so as it was totally unexpected. At almost the same time I became estranged from my mother. Also without going into details, the fallout and repercussions from both of those situations resulted in a lot of required attentiveness on our part to be sure to not be just "reacting" but to be sure that we were keeping God's values and principles forefront and not reacting to situations in our flesh. It was hard as both of those situations resulted in lies being told about us. That always feels horrible but it was such a good reminder that we have an "Audience of One." It is important that we figure that out, to not react in our flesh, and to stay true to course because with 5 more children to go through teen hood (and 3 of them the same age) I am certain that what we experienced with Beautiful will be but a minor pothole compared with what may come lol!
Another "trial" has been that we live in a state with no other family (except for my mother in law -next paragraph) except for the extended family that we have in Christ. That has left us with no grandparents or relatives to watch kids and offer respite. That has made our family hunker down and solidify more as a unit. We have had to be very intentional about finding other families to act as surrogate family, but many of them (of course) have their own families too that keep them busy. We have prayed that other people would feel called to take our kids under their wings as mentors or special friends. It is hard to find like-minded people who are willing to sacrifice their hearts and time with kids that aren't always..."easy." With that said, the women I have met who are "e-friends" through our adoption journey have been indescribably important to our adventure when people who haven't walked this road can't really understand the struggles. Our church friends and other like-minded believers have been "family" to our kids and love on them, pray for them, and take them under their wings. Our fellow home schooling families have walked with us through parenting and teaching realities and let us be "real." My dearest friend moved away 8 years ago this month. While that was very much a trial for me, I learned much from that such as my need to lean on Christ and not her and that we need to serve the Kingdom first, not what we want in our own flesh. I am thankful for social media and phones to have communication with friends far away!
Another major trial as been that my husband's mother moved down here maybe 5 years ago. I think it was 2009. She was retired and medically not doing well. We moved her from another state and she lived in an apartment 6 blocks from us so we could care for her. She fell and broke her arm, lived with us for 2 weeks, and never recovered enough to live independently again. She moved from the nursing home, to assisted living, and back to the nursing home. She has diabetes (a terrible, terrible disease) and has had many complications. She had a leg amputation 2 years ago. She has wounds on the other leg that the specialists are trying to heal to avoid another amputation. However, right now the greatest trial is her mind/memory. She is not always in touch with reality. Sometimes it is worse, and sometimes better. It is very, very hard on my husband. The last 3 months have been quite difficult. He really wants to advocate for her and find a way for her to come back to "herself." He has been successful with some things. However, I consult in nursing homes and see the situation more objectively. He goes to visit her more or less every day. Sometimes he thinks she is fine; then she asks him if he ate the roast she took to work that day, or if he stopped by the hotel she stayed at for a few days, etc. She really, really deteriorated 2 months ago when her mother died and has not really recovered from that. She can hold a conversation superficially and short-term so not everyone realizes how bad her memory is. My poor husband has taken to just sitting with her and watching TV for the most part on the days when she is thinking he is her husband... I must say that while it takes a huge amount of time away from our young family for my husband to care for his mother and attend her specialist appointments to advocate for her, it absolutely warms my heart to know that if something should befall me and he would be my caretaker, that he will move heaven and earth to care for me and not forget about me just because I have dementia and have forgotten who he is... My husband is an amazing man and watching him love and care for his mother reminds me of that often.
Another issue has been with the reality of home schooling our kiddos who have special learning needs. We strongly believe in the benefits of home schooling (another major shift in our thinking when Beautiful was the age to enter kindergarten). We especially believe in the benefits it allows with bonding and attachment issues with our adopted kiddos and having the extra time with our bio kiddos who already feel neglected with the addition of 4 more kids. I am a person who never found academics to be difficult. I don't think I ever had homework in high school, I graduated from college in 3 years, and I had my doctorate by age 25. It has been a HUGE shift for me to teach information that isn't just "learned." I laugh when I remember filling out the foster care paperwork saying that I did not want any special needs kids and...here we are. Especially since my bio kids are included in the struggles. It has been a huge pivotal issue for me and requires many reminders on keeping "the main thing the main thing" as we work with our local school district (who has been AWESOME) to best help our kids be what they were created to be, and not what I think that they should be.
Two years ago we got to care for Superman and Faith's infant sister for 7 weeks before she was placed in another foster home and eventually moved to permanent placement with her paternal great aunt. I will not go into that horrible, horrible time in our lives here - I have posted on it in a previous post. I will summarize to say that the experience taught me a lot about not just having a head knowledge or faith about God, but instead to have a trust in God. Enough said about that...
Two more to go! Well, there are many, many more, but for the purposes of this post there are 2 more:)
On 12/12/12 we were rushing around to reinstate our foster care license so that we could keep fostering the baby and be able to adopt her from foster care. On that date we had our medical physicals. On that date my husband was tested for, and diagnosed with, Diabetes. The past 2 years has been hard. It came less than 2 months after my husband watched his mother have her leg amputated from the same disease. My uncle had died of complications from it in 2007 at age 46. He has had to change so many things. And he has. He is trying to treat it with diet and exercise. We seek holistic medicine options. I think he would say that it is the biggest temptation struggle he has ever dealt with - to not have ice cream, cookies, soda, etc anymore. He has been such a self-motivated advocate for his own care in this area. I have been very proud of him. With that said, it really scares me. I think of having to care for him like he is caring for his mother while still having little kids at home (he has no complications at this point - that is just my fear talking). But the fear talks in lots of ways to me: will he be able to attend each of our children's graduations? Weddings? Travel with me? etc? Will I be a single grandmother making the rounds to see the grandkids by myself? I don't think I could ever remarry. After all, who would ever put up with me with as much love and patience as my husband does...or our kids lol!??!?
Good grief, as if to reiterate what I was just typing, Grace just pulled a dresser down on top of JJ and I had to stop to go deal with that. Most days I feel like my house is a zoo and my kids are untamed animals! Anyway...
The final trial, that hasn't really been a trial but more of a process, has been our daughter being in a courtship. Nothing makes one think about the state of their own marriage, as well as the good stuff and the not so good stuff, as when one is trying to prepare one's own child for marriage! We absolutely adore the man she is dating. His parents have raised a very Godly young man who will be a wonderful husband one day. We have spent much time with this young man and have been strict about chaperoning and supervision. They are both very willing, and thankful, for these efforts. Their relationship has developed before our eyes and we are so blessed that they let us be part of the process. We did not expect to be dealing with these types of things yet, but we are moving along as well as we can while also raising 5 younger children. It does put many things into perspective as we raise the other kids - trying to make sure that the main things remain the main things (i.e. we are raising children for God's glory, to serve God's kingdom, to be helpmates to their spouses, and to be responsible, mature, God-fearing adults... who are SELF-SUFFICIENT lol!!!). Beautiful and her boyfriend are both first borns and, as such, are guinea pigs for we parents who haven't been through this yet lol!
We have had quite a few rocky times just due to kids' needs. When one has a difficult child(ren) it affects all of the rest of the kids, not just the parents. Adopting children affects any biological children who are already in the home. Kids feel left out, abandoned, misunderstood, and all kinds of yuck. A couple of years ago our oldest made some choices that taught her about the evil of this world and have permanently scarred her heart/trust of others and completely rocked my husband's and my opinions on a lot of things. To respect her privacy I will not go into any details. However, it was very painful and probably more so as it was totally unexpected. At almost the same time I became estranged from my mother. Also without going into details, the fallout and repercussions from both of those situations resulted in a lot of required attentiveness on our part to be sure to not be just "reacting" but to be sure that we were keeping God's values and principles forefront and not reacting to situations in our flesh. It was hard as both of those situations resulted in lies being told about us. That always feels horrible but it was such a good reminder that we have an "Audience of One." It is important that we figure that out, to not react in our flesh, and to stay true to course because with 5 more children to go through teen hood (and 3 of them the same age) I am certain that what we experienced with Beautiful will be but a minor pothole compared with what may come lol!
Another "trial" has been that we live in a state with no other family (except for my mother in law -next paragraph) except for the extended family that we have in Christ. That has left us with no grandparents or relatives to watch kids and offer respite. That has made our family hunker down and solidify more as a unit. We have had to be very intentional about finding other families to act as surrogate family, but many of them (of course) have their own families too that keep them busy. We have prayed that other people would feel called to take our kids under their wings as mentors or special friends. It is hard to find like-minded people who are willing to sacrifice their hearts and time with kids that aren't always..."easy." With that said, the women I have met who are "e-friends" through our adoption journey have been indescribably important to our adventure when people who haven't walked this road can't really understand the struggles. Our church friends and other like-minded believers have been "family" to our kids and love on them, pray for them, and take them under their wings. Our fellow home schooling families have walked with us through parenting and teaching realities and let us be "real." My dearest friend moved away 8 years ago this month. While that was very much a trial for me, I learned much from that such as my need to lean on Christ and not her and that we need to serve the Kingdom first, not what we want in our own flesh. I am thankful for social media and phones to have communication with friends far away!
Another major trial as been that my husband's mother moved down here maybe 5 years ago. I think it was 2009. She was retired and medically not doing well. We moved her from another state and she lived in an apartment 6 blocks from us so we could care for her. She fell and broke her arm, lived with us for 2 weeks, and never recovered enough to live independently again. She moved from the nursing home, to assisted living, and back to the nursing home. She has diabetes (a terrible, terrible disease) and has had many complications. She had a leg amputation 2 years ago. She has wounds on the other leg that the specialists are trying to heal to avoid another amputation. However, right now the greatest trial is her mind/memory. She is not always in touch with reality. Sometimes it is worse, and sometimes better. It is very, very hard on my husband. The last 3 months have been quite difficult. He really wants to advocate for her and find a way for her to come back to "herself." He has been successful with some things. However, I consult in nursing homes and see the situation more objectively. He goes to visit her more or less every day. Sometimes he thinks she is fine; then she asks him if he ate the roast she took to work that day, or if he stopped by the hotel she stayed at for a few days, etc. She really, really deteriorated 2 months ago when her mother died and has not really recovered from that. She can hold a conversation superficially and short-term so not everyone realizes how bad her memory is. My poor husband has taken to just sitting with her and watching TV for the most part on the days when she is thinking he is her husband... I must say that while it takes a huge amount of time away from our young family for my husband to care for his mother and attend her specialist appointments to advocate for her, it absolutely warms my heart to know that if something should befall me and he would be my caretaker, that he will move heaven and earth to care for me and not forget about me just because I have dementia and have forgotten who he is... My husband is an amazing man and watching him love and care for his mother reminds me of that often.
Another issue has been with the reality of home schooling our kiddos who have special learning needs. We strongly believe in the benefits of home schooling (another major shift in our thinking when Beautiful was the age to enter kindergarten). We especially believe in the benefits it allows with bonding and attachment issues with our adopted kiddos and having the extra time with our bio kiddos who already feel neglected with the addition of 4 more kids. I am a person who never found academics to be difficult. I don't think I ever had homework in high school, I graduated from college in 3 years, and I had my doctorate by age 25. It has been a HUGE shift for me to teach information that isn't just "learned." I laugh when I remember filling out the foster care paperwork saying that I did not want any special needs kids and...here we are. Especially since my bio kids are included in the struggles. It has been a huge pivotal issue for me and requires many reminders on keeping "the main thing the main thing" as we work with our local school district (who has been AWESOME) to best help our kids be what they were created to be, and not what I think that they should be.
Two years ago we got to care for Superman and Faith's infant sister for 7 weeks before she was placed in another foster home and eventually moved to permanent placement with her paternal great aunt. I will not go into that horrible, horrible time in our lives here - I have posted on it in a previous post. I will summarize to say that the experience taught me a lot about not just having a head knowledge or faith about God, but instead to have a trust in God. Enough said about that...
Two more to go! Well, there are many, many more, but for the purposes of this post there are 2 more:)
On 12/12/12 we were rushing around to reinstate our foster care license so that we could keep fostering the baby and be able to adopt her from foster care. On that date we had our medical physicals. On that date my husband was tested for, and diagnosed with, Diabetes. The past 2 years has been hard. It came less than 2 months after my husband watched his mother have her leg amputated from the same disease. My uncle had died of complications from it in 2007 at age 46. He has had to change so many things. And he has. He is trying to treat it with diet and exercise. We seek holistic medicine options. I think he would say that it is the biggest temptation struggle he has ever dealt with - to not have ice cream, cookies, soda, etc anymore. He has been such a self-motivated advocate for his own care in this area. I have been very proud of him. With that said, it really scares me. I think of having to care for him like he is caring for his mother while still having little kids at home (he has no complications at this point - that is just my fear talking). But the fear talks in lots of ways to me: will he be able to attend each of our children's graduations? Weddings? Travel with me? etc? Will I be a single grandmother making the rounds to see the grandkids by myself? I don't think I could ever remarry. After all, who would ever put up with me with as much love and patience as my husband does...or our kids lol!??!?
Good grief, as if to reiterate what I was just typing, Grace just pulled a dresser down on top of JJ and I had to stop to go deal with that. Most days I feel like my house is a zoo and my kids are untamed animals! Anyway...
The final trial, that hasn't really been a trial but more of a process, has been our daughter being in a courtship. Nothing makes one think about the state of their own marriage, as well as the good stuff and the not so good stuff, as when one is trying to prepare one's own child for marriage! We absolutely adore the man she is dating. His parents have raised a very Godly young man who will be a wonderful husband one day. We have spent much time with this young man and have been strict about chaperoning and supervision. They are both very willing, and thankful, for these efforts. Their relationship has developed before our eyes and we are so blessed that they let us be part of the process. We did not expect to be dealing with these types of things yet, but we are moving along as well as we can while also raising 5 younger children. It does put many things into perspective as we raise the other kids - trying to make sure that the main things remain the main things (i.e. we are raising children for God's glory, to serve God's kingdom, to be helpmates to their spouses, and to be responsible, mature, God-fearing adults... who are SELF-SUFFICIENT lol!!!). Beautiful and her boyfriend are both first borns and, as such, are guinea pigs for we parents who haven't been through this yet lol!
As I read back through this (I think I have re-read this post 50 times tweaking it and being too scared to actually post it) I know that I have talked about each of the pivotal moments in our lives as being via a trial. I know that is perhaps an odd perspective to take and perhaps we should think of the pivotal moments as being blessings - but the reality is that they were not perceived that way. However, I think of each of those trials as being a time that we spent in a "cocoon" and we were being transformed. It felt tight, claustrophobic, and limited in options at the time, but the outcome (in God's timing) was one more step in the sanctification process that we are on.
Twenty-two years ago we were such an unlikely couple to be able to "make it." But we are proof of the power and love of God to transform selfish, unsaved sinners into humbled, God-fearing sinners who are striving to do what we are called to do for His glory:)
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