Our Current Trials... What did I expect?

I apologize if this post comes across grumpy.  I am feeling more than a little grumpy but am trying to keep perspective.

We are in a Sunday School class right now on the book "What Did You Expect?"  It is a book on marriage by Paul David Tripp and it is EXCELLENT!  I am very happily married but am still finding a lot of great information in the book.  Mostly I am trying to think of the information more broadly than my marriage and focus it on how I live.

A message the first week was asking when an open water bottle gets shaken what comes out?  Water.  Milk, juice, Pepsi, or whatever cannot come out.  Water comes out.  So, when life "shakes" us, what comes out of us?  If we claim to be _______ (calm, loving, kind, anchored to God and His plan for us, whatever) and we get "shaken," is that what comes out?

So I have been spending a lot of time considering the moments when I am "shaken" and how I respond.  What comes out of me?

A second message was, when we are feeling grumpy we should examine what we are really grumpy about.  It is usually that we are worshiping/idolizing something that is the created rather than the creator.  While I have known about this concept before, I have been striving to be more intentional about it and really key in on what I am idolizing in my life.  Quite honestly that has not been a surprising find but it has been uncomfortable.

You know when you pray and ask God to grow you...and he answers?  Well, we got water in our basement from our rain gutters being blocked and now it looks like we will have to replace at least 1 bedroom's carpet.  That is a minor annoyance, but I am worried about our kids who have allergies and their tendency to be affected by airborne allergies.  Today we are ripping out carpet and my husband has decided that he is going to try to replace the carpet himself.  There was a time 12+ years ago that I would have argued and rolled my eyes.  But my husband is amazingly handy with all projects of a home  improvement nature so I am more curious this time around how it will go.

But then...I began to fret about the cost.  About why water came in.  About the kids' health. About how long it will take to fix this.  About the project outside my husband wants to do before the carpet gets laid to hopefully prevent the problem again (we have not had water in the basement in over 10 years, since we got new rain gutters on the house).

We have been talking for over a year about a new a/c unit.  We put a new furnace in 10 years ago and they put an A-coil on it so when we got a new a/c unit we would just have to replace the outside unit.

We had a quotes come in last year and found out that the a-coil will have to be replaced again due to the new unit designs.  Sigh...

We did not act on it last year but yesterday called the person and told him to go ahead and replace the unit and a-coil.

Last night our a/c unit QUIT WORKING!  Sigh...

So now we have a stinky basement with wet carpet and no way to get the humidity out of the house.  I have a headache that I fear is from the wet carpet.  I am hot.  I am sticky.  I am grumpy.

What was that, God?  You are shaking me and wondering what is coming out?  You are showing me what I idolize?  Ahhh, yeah, that isn't pretty.  What is coming out is fear.  Fear of health issues.  Fear of where the money will come from.  Yep.  Pretty much I am not relying on God but on my own flesh.

It was also sad for me to realize what I ran to when I felt stress.  Did I seek out the Lord in prayer or stop to fret and engage in immediate comforts.  Yep, that was convicting too.  So, after spending time with the Lord in prayer asking for him to take care of these issues but recognizing His sovereignty I am, at least in my heart (even if my mind keeps trying to work out logistics) submitting to however He resolves this issue...and whenever.

It is quite ironic to me, and I have to believe that God wants me to see the joke in this, that it is our fund that we are saving to go to Indonesia that we will have to use to fix the a/c unit.  A place where there is limited and spotty electricity and whole lot of heat and humidity.  I am grumpy about not having my "comforts" that I idolize when we plan to vacation in an area without those comforts AND I am placing something that is very "created" above what I should be valuing and appreciating as gifts from God.  For example, in light of the recent tornadoes in our state and complete devastation, the loss of some carpet and an a/c unit is utterly and pathetically minor.  At least our family is intact and well.  We have the house as a whole.

I knew it would be dangerous to pray that God grow me, but what did I expect?  I am sure I will get through this stretched and more focused on my Creator.  While I admit that I am quite grumpy about this today, I am working on counting this trial "joy" and reminding myself that it really is not a trial at all in light of the evil and tragedy in this world.  My husband is going to get a window a/c unit to at least cool the living room and we can all camp there tonight and create some memories.  And, hey, I won't be able to cook and heat up the house so we can all eat sandwiches and reduce my time in the kitchen.  It's all good;)