I have written and rewritten this post many times over the past 3ish weeks. I am wanting to communicate this clearly as I believe it is so important to see how these two attention issues are fundamentally different - therefore treatment interventions going to be different (and hopefully frustration levels lowered too:). I give more information on ADHD as that is what has more research, but hope that I have laid out the underlying differences in a way that helps to see them separate issues. If I am unclear, please let me know and I will try to clarify:)
Dr. Russell Barkley has been studying ADHD for many years. As stated in my last post you can check him out at www.adhdlectures.com or read his books. He has compiled and conducted much research in the area of ADHD. He shared that he believes that there are probably 7 different Attention Disorders that factor analysis shows in the research rather than just ADHD as we currently know it. However, at this time only ADHD is recognized by the DSM team, and when the DSM-V (the diagnostic tool that psychologists use to diagnose mental health issues) comes out next year it will still just have ADHD as the only Attention Disorder. There are various reasons for this that I will not bore you with, but they are essentially political. However, just because a particular group of people have not stated that there is a disorder, it does not mean that the disorder does not exist;) On the other hand, what really is a disorder? Just a cluster of symptoms that a subset group of people have that means that they are somehow doing something different than another subset group of people. But...I digress...
Dr. Barkley spoke about how he believes that ADHD as currently understood is actually 2 different disorders. As you may know, a person can get a diagnosis of ADHD and then specify if it is predominantly Hyperactivity/Impulse or predominantly Inattentive (or combined). Dr. Barkley believes that the research shows that there is a disorder that manifests itself as Hyperactivity/Impulsivity and another disorder that looks like what we call Inattentive. He says that it is important to distinguish between them because he says the underlying causes of what is going on with the person is very different, and therefore treatment implications are very different. Again, people who have not studied Dr. Barkley's work will not know about these differences in conceptualization and there are no official differences in diagnosis as the current diagnostic system is set up (other than as stated above). Therefore, the information I am giving you now, as I understand it from the conference from Dr. Barkley, is primarily to help you (and me!) conceptualize the problems that we see with these kiddos and how to help them be as successful as possible.
The crux of what Dr. Barkley said was, ADHD is an "Intention Deficit Disorder" whereas the other disorder that has been called in research "SCT" is "Concentration Disorder." People talk about them as Executive Functioning Disorders - essentially the frontal lobe of the brain is the "computer" that takes all kinds of information, integrates it, makes a plan, and executes the plan (tells the rest of the brain to follow through). Specifically with ADHD, the right frontal portion of the brain is not processing information effectively much like a person who has had an injury to that portion of the brain (although there are more parts of the brain than that which are affected in ADHD). I will go into that in the next post...
I will attempt to discuss the differences between these the best way I can. I very much agree that these distinctions are essential to understand and are crucial when discussing treatment implications and long term life planning.
ADHD: developmental delay in inhibition (they are very disinhibited)
SCT: developmental delay in concentration
ADHD: is an OUTPUT disorder - they have no problem with processing information
SCT: INPUT disorder - they are not inputting and processing incoming stimuli accurately
ADHD: the problem is with sustained attention, not necessarily what they are attending to
SCT: the problem is that they do not attend to the correct information (focused on the wrong details)
ADHD: friendships tend to be few and far between, they tend to be rejected by others due to, well, the way they act in relationship to others
SCT: tend to be overlooked and neglected in relationships. They tend to not focus on the "right" information in relational interactions and thus don't "connect" well with others.
ADHD: very impulsive and hyper
SCT: tend to be slow moving/sluggish
ADHD: Their behavior is hard to control and manage
SCT: The kids are very likeable, they just don't get things done
ADHD: it is a temporal disorganization (time management disorder)
SCT: Spatial disorganization (they can get it done but it is unorganized and often not right)
ADHD: a production disorder - they tend to not get things finished, but if they do it is done correctly
SCT: Accuracy disorder - they get it done, but it is wrong (they are not attending to the right details)
ADHD: vast majority will respond to stimulant medication
SCT: less than 20% respond to stimulant medication
Other symptoms of ADHD (aside from constant moving and talking and the inability to control urges lol!!)
* Dr. Barkley shared that instead of thinking of ADHD as an attention problem, we need to think of it really as an INTENTION deficit disorder. He says that these kids can filter information just fine (or pay attention to incoming stimuli), the problem is with how they see the future (their intention of what to do with that stimuli).
* There is an impairment with working memory (holding various pieces of information simultaneously and using that information to proceed logically). It is not that they do not know the rules or they are unable to recall what they were supposed to be doing. The kiddos can tell you what the rules are, but they sure aren't logically using them!
*ADHD show dis-inhibition in all areas of life, not just one or two areas or settings
* The hyperactivity piece is about intention with incoming stimuli (so much stimulation, so little time to do something with it). As an example of this, adults will not have the hyperactivity piece. They report feeling "restless" and experience "anxiety."
*Their emotions are rational - they are intense, but they are rational. This is unlike people with mood disorders (e.g. depression) who have emotions inconsistent with the reality of their lives. When you talk to ADHD people about why they feel a certain way, while they may be making a bigger deal out of something than they need to but it is still consistent with reality.
* They are UNABLE to persist in a task when there is not immediate gratification. What takes them a long time to do when there is not immediate gratification can take a very short time when there is immediate gratification. Outcome is highly variable and not consistent with the persons ability to understand what needs to be done, but rather with what is motivating them to complete the task. This was probably the most enlightening piece of information for me that has fundamentally changed the way I engage my child with ADHD.
* ADHD directly impacts a persons ability to handle delayed reinforcement (e.g. waiting for the reward). It is not that the person is being lazy or oppositional (although that happens often with people with ADHD, it is a separate problem and not a symptom of ADHD per se) but rather that they cannot keep in their mind the concept of time long enough to work for something in the future.
* ADHD people tend to feel pretty good about their accomplishments. They like to normalize their behavior and lives, but that is not a good assessment of their lives or accomplishments (they don't have much of a problem with "confidence.")
* One often finds a readiness to learn, but there is a struggle with the actual ability to learn or the attention to stay on task to learn
* over half by adolescence will be rebellious and antisocial (which is logical due to the impulse control and feeling like others don't understand them even though they believe themselves to not have problems).
* unable to sub-vocalize. Fancy way to say that they cannot think to themselves. They talk...A LOT. This is so evident with our daughter. She talks non-stop. We always giggle when when chooses to pray at meals because she gives God a blow by blow descriptive play of the day...as if He didn't know lol! In just the past couple of months I am thrilled that we actually have certain times in the day where we can get to short periods of quiet!
* these kids know the answers of how to act/what the rules are/what they should be doing. They just do not follow through. It is not that they are "inattentive" to the rules, don't know what they were told to do, didn't pick up on the instructions given, etc. Therefore, simply telling them what to do will not help.
*social maturity is about 30% delayed
My next blog post will be on understanding Executive Function and how that impacts ADHD. The one after that will be on Treatment Implications. Again, if you find this information helpful, or if you don't find it helpful and want better/more information, please check out Dr. Barkley's lectures at www.adhdlectures.com .
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Thoughts on ADHD Conference: Part 1 Statistics
In September I had the opportunity to see Russell Barkley, PhD speak about the current research and advancement of understanding ADHD. He is the "guru" of ADHD and it was an honor to hear him. I wanted to take some time to share my thoughts on his conference. While I was there in a professional role, after raising Grace I filtered most of it through my "mom brain." I had many different emotions at the conference. I was thrilled that I felt like someone finally understood our journey with ADHD and validated that it is not "just bad parenting" and that it is very, very hard. I was overwhelmed by the realities of the longevity of the situation and wondering how we can help her so she will thrive as an adult (and adolescent). And I was encouraged by specific interventions that we can use to manage the situation.
Anyone can go to www.ADHDLectures.com and watch Dr. Barkley present his information. His information is broken down into 1 - 2 hour lectures. There are 5 for parents that include 1 on how to deal with ADHD in the classroom. There is a cost (about $6 each) to watch the lectures that is minimal considering the information and help you can receive. There is also a book written in layman's terms that I am finding to be excellent called Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley. If you have a child with ADHD, think you do, or want to help understand someone else who has it, I highly recommend this book.
Dr. Barkley presented a very different way to conceptualize ADHD than I had previously heard. I will cover that in another post. Very importantly in my mind, he talked about how ADHD is the "diabetes of psychiatry." There is no cure or fix. There is only management. The management will help with the symptoms only, but perhaps more importantly it will help to prevent more long term negative consequences.
Some statistics:
How do you get it:
ADHD is highly passed on genetically. However, there are known ways to "acquire" ADHD (about 30+% of cases)
PRENATAL:
*There is a threshold of 10 cigarettes a day below which developing baby is not thought to acquire ADHD from nicotine/tobacco use. Over that nicotine use increased the likelihood of ADHD by 2.5 times more likely than non-smoking mothers.
* There is NO SAFE THRESHOLD FOR ALCOHOL USE!!!
* premature birth - especially if a brain bleed (45% are thought to develop ADHD)
* total increased pregnancy complications
*high phenylalanine levels in mom's blood (but not full PKU levels)
* high maternal anxiety in 2nd trimester (due to the hormone levels on the baby while developing)
GENETICS:
* two genes have been identified so far. 40 genetic sites have been located - all related to issues with dopamine (which is probably why stimulates work well as treatment).
* if a sibling has it, 25 - 25% likely of another sibling having it
* if an identical twin has it, 78 - 92% likely the other twin has it
* if parent has it, 40 - 54% of their children will have it (more likely if it is the father)
POST-NATAL (3 - 7%)
* head trauma
* certain seizures
* lead poisoning prior to age 3
* survival from acute lymphoblastic leukemia
* strep B infection
* elevated but sub threshold exposure to PKU related amino acid
Some more general stats on ADHD:
* 7-8% of kids are diagnosed with it and 4 - 5% of adults.
* one sees a 2.5x increase in seizures in kids who have it
* 1.5x more likely to be overweight if have it (impulse control issues)
* 39 - 56% have sleep problems
* more dental issues
* more coordination issues
* accident proneness - 1.5 - 4x greater risk for injuries, 3x greater for accident poisonings
* 2 - 3 x the medical costs of other kids - not counting the meds/mgmt of the ADHD itself
* pragmatic deficits in language disorders with 60%
* excessive speech, less logical, coherent, organized speech
* much difficulty with talking "to self"
* less able to understand rule-governed behavior
* IQ is an average of 7-10 points lower (probably due to the executive functioning that I will discuss later)
* 90% have poor school performance (reduced productivity and inattention are the biggest issues)
* learning disabilities in 24 - 70% depending on the study (with reading, spelling, math, handwriting, and comprehension). These LD's are not due to the ADHD, but co exist with it and can improve with ADHD management.
* increased parent/child conflicts
* higher rates of parental divorce earlier in marriage
* since it is highly genetic, many parents also have it which leads to interesting dynamics
* significantly impacted peer relationships: more intrusive on others, verbally impulsive, more anger, more directive of others, less cooperative (wanting things done own way), reduced empathy, etc resulting in conflicts and often rejection by peers of the ADHD child.
Teens:
* 40% of ADHD kids are parents as teens
* 60% of ADHD girls get pregnant in high school
* 40% don't graduate
* 40% fail/repeat at least 1 class in school
* only 5-10% finish college as compared to 35% of non-ADHD students
* 5x more likely to attempt suicide if they think about suicide (less likely to talk self out of the thoughts as are more impulsive).
* much higher risk of car accidents (he even went so far as to suggest not letting 16 year old ADHD teens drive until more maturity is developed. I am ALL about agreeing to that lol!)
*As adults: family stress, strained friendships, more limited educational success, legal difficulties (if engage in criminal behavior), excessive smoking/drinking/caffeine, accidents, job problems, financial problems (impulsive spending), problems in own marriage/parenting, and unhealthy lifestyles, increased risk of heart disease. 3x more likely to die by 45 years old.
Drug use (top 3 that are abused):
1st: nicotine. The nicotine, oddly enough, will "treat" the ADHD as it is a stimulate, and thus unfortunately many people with ADHD symptoms use it to self-medicate
2nd: alcohol
3rd: marijuana these are used not to self-medicate as it will actually make the symptoms worse. However, people with ADHD often use them to help "forget" their problems
My next post on ADHD will be on Dr. Barkley's theory of ADHD, what he says the foundational issues are, and what he says Executive Functioning is that is most impaired in people with ADHD.
Anyone can go to www.ADHDLectures.com and watch Dr. Barkley present his information. His information is broken down into 1 - 2 hour lectures. There are 5 for parents that include 1 on how to deal with ADHD in the classroom. There is a cost (about $6 each) to watch the lectures that is minimal considering the information and help you can receive. There is also a book written in layman's terms that I am finding to be excellent called Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley. If you have a child with ADHD, think you do, or want to help understand someone else who has it, I highly recommend this book.
Dr. Barkley presented a very different way to conceptualize ADHD than I had previously heard. I will cover that in another post. Very importantly in my mind, he talked about how ADHD is the "diabetes of psychiatry." There is no cure or fix. There is only management. The management will help with the symptoms only, but perhaps more importantly it will help to prevent more long term negative consequences.
Some statistics:
How do you get it:
ADHD is highly passed on genetically. However, there are known ways to "acquire" ADHD (about 30+% of cases)
PRENATAL:
*There is a threshold of 10 cigarettes a day below which developing baby is not thought to acquire ADHD from nicotine/tobacco use. Over that nicotine use increased the likelihood of ADHD by 2.5 times more likely than non-smoking mothers.
* There is NO SAFE THRESHOLD FOR ALCOHOL USE!!!
* premature birth - especially if a brain bleed (45% are thought to develop ADHD)
* total increased pregnancy complications
*high phenylalanine levels in mom's blood (but not full PKU levels)
* high maternal anxiety in 2nd trimester (due to the hormone levels on the baby while developing)
GENETICS:
* two genes have been identified so far. 40 genetic sites have been located - all related to issues with dopamine (which is probably why stimulates work well as treatment).
* if a sibling has it, 25 - 25% likely of another sibling having it
* if an identical twin has it, 78 - 92% likely the other twin has it
* if parent has it, 40 - 54% of their children will have it (more likely if it is the father)
POST-NATAL (3 - 7%)
* head trauma
* certain seizures
* lead poisoning prior to age 3
* survival from acute lymphoblastic leukemia
* strep B infection
* elevated but sub threshold exposure to PKU related amino acid
Some more general stats on ADHD:
* 7-8% of kids are diagnosed with it and 4 - 5% of adults.
* one sees a 2.5x increase in seizures in kids who have it
* 1.5x more likely to be overweight if have it (impulse control issues)
* 39 - 56% have sleep problems
* more dental issues
* more coordination issues
* accident proneness - 1.5 - 4x greater risk for injuries, 3x greater for accident poisonings
* 2 - 3 x the medical costs of other kids - not counting the meds/mgmt of the ADHD itself
* pragmatic deficits in language disorders with 60%
* excessive speech, less logical, coherent, organized speech
* much difficulty with talking "to self"
* less able to understand rule-governed behavior
* IQ is an average of 7-10 points lower (probably due to the executive functioning that I will discuss later)
* 90% have poor school performance (reduced productivity and inattention are the biggest issues)
* learning disabilities in 24 - 70% depending on the study (with reading, spelling, math, handwriting, and comprehension). These LD's are not due to the ADHD, but co exist with it and can improve with ADHD management.
* increased parent/child conflicts
* higher rates of parental divorce earlier in marriage
* since it is highly genetic, many parents also have it which leads to interesting dynamics
* significantly impacted peer relationships: more intrusive on others, verbally impulsive, more anger, more directive of others, less cooperative (wanting things done own way), reduced empathy, etc resulting in conflicts and often rejection by peers of the ADHD child.
Teens:
* 40% of ADHD kids are parents as teens
* 60% of ADHD girls get pregnant in high school
* 40% don't graduate
* 40% fail/repeat at least 1 class in school
* only 5-10% finish college as compared to 35% of non-ADHD students
* 5x more likely to attempt suicide if they think about suicide (less likely to talk self out of the thoughts as are more impulsive).
* much higher risk of car accidents (he even went so far as to suggest not letting 16 year old ADHD teens drive until more maturity is developed. I am ALL about agreeing to that lol!)
*As adults: family stress, strained friendships, more limited educational success, legal difficulties (if engage in criminal behavior), excessive smoking/drinking/caffeine, accidents, job problems, financial problems (impulsive spending), problems in own marriage/parenting, and unhealthy lifestyles, increased risk of heart disease. 3x more likely to die by 45 years old.
Drug use (top 3 that are abused):
1st: nicotine. The nicotine, oddly enough, will "treat" the ADHD as it is a stimulate, and thus unfortunately many people with ADHD symptoms use it to self-medicate
2nd: alcohol
3rd: marijuana these are used not to self-medicate as it will actually make the symptoms worse. However, people with ADHD often use them to help "forget" their problems
My next post on ADHD will be on Dr. Barkley's theory of ADHD, what he says the foundational issues are, and what he says Executive Functioning is that is most impaired in people with ADHD.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Reflections on the Ladies Retreat
Last weekend I attended the BOLD Conference and was deeply moved by Dr. Al Mohler and Tim Holland's deep understanding of theology and doctrine. It was a very meaty conference and I have been thinking of it often this week. All of the messages are free online at this link if you are interested in listening. It was a pastors conference (I'm not a pastor, but was blessed to be able to go!)
This weekend was the Ladies Retreat. The content was very different, but content that I am reflecting on none-the-less. We watched Elyse Fitzpatrick DVD's that spoke on keeping the gospel central. I have read several books by CJ Mahaney (such as Living the Cross Centered Life and Humility) as well as by Tim Keller that speak to this primary concept. I have been striving to apply the concept of "preaching the gospel to myself daily" for the past several years. I seem to do a better job of encouraging others to do it than I do myself:)
During the wrap up session I shared a bit about how I have been applying this concept over the years. I think I did a poor job of it. It seems I am a better communicator one on one or in writing:) Anyway, what I wanted to communicate but did not do a good job of was how God has been stripping away my prideful areas via different routes over the past 6 years more poignantly than prior to that. We had dear, dear friends who moved away the same month that Grace came and this journey of parenting a lot of kids, and difficult kids began (I believe that parenting has humbled me more than anything else to date! Talk about learning that I have absolutely NO control over ANYTHING!! and that I have no rights to anything...like sleep, food, clean clothes, time alone in the bathroom, thinking a complete thought before an interruption, taking my next breath...etc). These friends had been our mentors since we had come to know the Lord and were probably the most like-mined/like-passioned. It was devastating to me for them to go. However, God revealed to me during that time that I had made that relationship into an idol. I sought my friend before I sought the Lord. I used her as His mouth piece rather than sharpen my skills in listening to His still, small voice and developing a mature understanding of the scripture. God, of course, did a GOOD thing by having her move so that I could draw nearer to Him.
Through the course of various experiences God has shown us our path and we have learned to seek and listen to Him first. We continued our path of adoption and stood in awe at how He opened doors and brought our 4 youngest children to us (I am also in awe that he allowed us to have our 1st 2 kids so easily - I think he really wanted to lull us into a false sense of control before He revealed Himself...just to make sure the point really stuck lol!). We have been so moved by our church family in supporting us. We know that we are loved by them. They rallied behind us when we were adopting from Liberia and prayed and supported us. When the Lord closed that door without us bringing those 4 children home they continued to support us (Superman and Faith came at that time). Our church family completely and totally welcomed Superman and Faith, loving on them and making them feel safe and included. When we felt led to adopt again we did not feel it necessary to tell a lot of people. We did not want to get people excited for something that may not happen (we learned our lesson with Liberia!!!). We did tell our elders and they were very supportive. When we got the call that JJ would be joining our family in a matter of days, we had an outpouring of support and love. I have heard so many very sad stories of churches that do not support/include adopted children. We are very aware of how blessed we are to be in this church family.
Yet, there are times during the past 6 years that we have felt loved...but lonely. Times when people are excited for us as a family but not really sure how to love "us." People may think us a bit odd as a home schooling family of 8 with 4 adopted kids but no one in our church family has ever said anything negative about it (at least to our faces lol!) There have been times that people may not take the time to "really" ask us about "how" things are going. However, we have strove to take this to the Cross and remember that Jesus always cares "how" things are going. He is always listening. He always has time for us. The reality is that we have not been able to put a whole lot of energy into relationships during this season of life so why do I think that if I am not cultivating something that there should be a "harvest" so to speak. Add to that that we do not do a good job at all of asking for help...what do we expect lol! He has been teaching us that He is enough. He is our best friend. He is all we need. He knows what and when we need it. He is our Provider. He is Sovereign. He is powerful enough to move mountains. My friend who left is consistently pointing me back to the Cross saying "He is our audience of One" and "this is not our home."
One thing about our church family that I appreciate the most are the people who pray for us. Who are we that we should be blessed to have others think of us to stand in the gap with our Heavenly Father? I remember the first time a prayer warrior from our church said, "I pray for you by name every morning." I started crying right there! I know that our family has people who intercede for us and we never even know it. We are so blessed to have a God who loves us enough to die on a cross for every one of our specific sins so that He would not have to spend an eternity without us with him! Just as a bonus he threw in a wonderful church family who loves us patiently through this season of life as God strips our sin from us while we attempt to live faithfully for Him.
So, as you can tell if you follow my blog, I need LOTS of words to communicate what I mean, and lots of time to type and rethink if I have accurately communicated my heart. I attempted to say something off the cuff with as few words as I could limit myself to and don't think I did it well. I need to learn to just keep my mouth quiet and wait for time to type it out lol!
This weekend was the Ladies Retreat. The content was very different, but content that I am reflecting on none-the-less. We watched Elyse Fitzpatrick DVD's that spoke on keeping the gospel central. I have read several books by CJ Mahaney (such as Living the Cross Centered Life and Humility) as well as by Tim Keller that speak to this primary concept. I have been striving to apply the concept of "preaching the gospel to myself daily" for the past several years. I seem to do a better job of encouraging others to do it than I do myself:)
During the wrap up session I shared a bit about how I have been applying this concept over the years. I think I did a poor job of it. It seems I am a better communicator one on one or in writing:) Anyway, what I wanted to communicate but did not do a good job of was how God has been stripping away my prideful areas via different routes over the past 6 years more poignantly than prior to that. We had dear, dear friends who moved away the same month that Grace came and this journey of parenting a lot of kids, and difficult kids began (I believe that parenting has humbled me more than anything else to date! Talk about learning that I have absolutely NO control over ANYTHING!! and that I have no rights to anything...like sleep, food, clean clothes, time alone in the bathroom, thinking a complete thought before an interruption, taking my next breath...etc). These friends had been our mentors since we had come to know the Lord and were probably the most like-mined/like-passioned. It was devastating to me for them to go. However, God revealed to me during that time that I had made that relationship into an idol. I sought my friend before I sought the Lord. I used her as His mouth piece rather than sharpen my skills in listening to His still, small voice and developing a mature understanding of the scripture. God, of course, did a GOOD thing by having her move so that I could draw nearer to Him.
Through the course of various experiences God has shown us our path and we have learned to seek and listen to Him first. We continued our path of adoption and stood in awe at how He opened doors and brought our 4 youngest children to us (I am also in awe that he allowed us to have our 1st 2 kids so easily - I think he really wanted to lull us into a false sense of control before He revealed Himself...just to make sure the point really stuck lol!). We have been so moved by our church family in supporting us. We know that we are loved by them. They rallied behind us when we were adopting from Liberia and prayed and supported us. When the Lord closed that door without us bringing those 4 children home they continued to support us (Superman and Faith came at that time). Our church family completely and totally welcomed Superman and Faith, loving on them and making them feel safe and included. When we felt led to adopt again we did not feel it necessary to tell a lot of people. We did not want to get people excited for something that may not happen (we learned our lesson with Liberia!!!). We did tell our elders and they were very supportive. When we got the call that JJ would be joining our family in a matter of days, we had an outpouring of support and love. I have heard so many very sad stories of churches that do not support/include adopted children. We are very aware of how blessed we are to be in this church family.
Yet, there are times during the past 6 years that we have felt loved...but lonely. Times when people are excited for us as a family but not really sure how to love "us." People may think us a bit odd as a home schooling family of 8 with 4 adopted kids but no one in our church family has ever said anything negative about it (at least to our faces lol!) There have been times that people may not take the time to "really" ask us about "how" things are going. However, we have strove to take this to the Cross and remember that Jesus always cares "how" things are going. He is always listening. He always has time for us. The reality is that we have not been able to put a whole lot of energy into relationships during this season of life so why do I think that if I am not cultivating something that there should be a "harvest" so to speak. Add to that that we do not do a good job at all of asking for help...what do we expect lol! He has been teaching us that He is enough. He is our best friend. He is all we need. He knows what and when we need it. He is our Provider. He is Sovereign. He is powerful enough to move mountains. My friend who left is consistently pointing me back to the Cross saying "He is our audience of One" and "this is not our home."
One thing about our church family that I appreciate the most are the people who pray for us. Who are we that we should be blessed to have others think of us to stand in the gap with our Heavenly Father? I remember the first time a prayer warrior from our church said, "I pray for you by name every morning." I started crying right there! I know that our family has people who intercede for us and we never even know it. We are so blessed to have a God who loves us enough to die on a cross for every one of our specific sins so that He would not have to spend an eternity without us with him! Just as a bonus he threw in a wonderful church family who loves us patiently through this season of life as God strips our sin from us while we attempt to live faithfully for Him.
So, as you can tell if you follow my blog, I need LOTS of words to communicate what I mean, and lots of time to type and rethink if I have accurately communicated my heart. I attempted to say something off the cuff with as few words as I could limit myself to and don't think I did it well. I need to learn to just keep my mouth quiet and wait for time to type it out lol!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Choosing to be thankful today...
Today, well, actually the past several months (or even years) have been extra tough for our family. We are getting hit from every possible direction with tough decisions that need to be made. Work decisions, financial decisions, education decisions, friendship decisions, activity decisions, ministry decisions, extended family decisions, health decisions, caring for parents decisions, and having special needs kids decisions. It seems like right now major decisions are needing to be made in every one of these areas (and more) and my head is swimming with a million questions of what the "right" thing is to do on too many fronts for me to keep straight. We have had the rug pulled out from under our feet several times in the past 6 weeks in particularly making us have to stop what we thought was forward progress, rethink, and seek God's wisdom for what direction to move forward. Who to trust? What source to trust? What happens when people you thought you could trust are found to be untrustworthy? With Grace alone we have sooooo many issues/directions that we have to be intervening with that it makes it very hard to discern where to place efforts. Each of the kids have such unique needs and I am feeling inept at getting them prepared for independent living and serving God someday...especially as our oldest is racing toward that stage of life...
I feel kind of like a juggler that is juggling at least 500 balls that I can label and they are all hitting me in the head. Feeling this overwhelmed is making me a little philosophical...what if I just had one really, really huge ball to deal with, like a terminal disease or a child dying? Would that be better? No way! I keep telling myself "put one foot in front of the other." "Just keep swimming" (while I really dislike Ellen D. I do love the idea (and the song) of "just keep swimming;). "This too shall pass." "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." "Nothing is impossible with God." "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds for the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work in you that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything." and "Blessed be the man who perseveres under trial for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." I am focusing on the two priorities that Jesus set 1) Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength (and teach the kids to do the same), and 2) love your neighbor as yourself. Right now I am having to pull in and consider my "neighbor" my children and keep hunkered down. Mostly I am focusing on the character of God, keeping Him my audience of One, the shortness of this life, and that this is not my home.
What I try to do when overwhelmed is step back and see the big picture. Things are always worse when they are in a microscope. So, I have had some things today that I am choosing to be thankful for and realizing that no decisions need to be made today (including my impulsive urge to fly to Tahiti lol!)
Some things that made me laugh today:
When JJ woke up this morning we heard for 30 minutes, "where's Daddy?" JJ loves his Daddy so much and we are so blessed to have a Daddy who is home so much for his kids!
JJ is starting to like food, and he calls all food either "pizza" or "apple." JJ brings me MUCH joy and laughter. He is a card!
Faith went to blow her nose today and sat on what she thought was the lid of the toilet to do it...but someone had not put the lid down... I felt sorry for laughing but it really was very funny!
Some things that I was thankful for today:
When I went through the science lesson with the kids today on scientific method..I think they got it!
Faith finished her 1st grade spelling! I am so excited for her diligence and love to learn:)
Superman is reading...really, really well!!! I thought for 2 years that he had dyslexia. I am SOO thankful that he does not and he is making progress. This is soo huge for us:)
Grace did well in occupational therapy today. She is now working on eating issues (as the messiest eater ever!) She gets to eat in front of a mirror to watch herself eating carefully:)
Buddy has passed 2 levels out of 3 in Myofunctional therapy! He also gets to eat in front of a mirror to make sure he is swallowing his food properly. We are a couple of months from being done!
Superman did not graduate out of PT today, but I am thankful for a therapist who is understanding his issues and beginning to see more of what we were telling her his issues are...since they are subtle.
Thankful that we could trust Beautiful to watch some of the kids today so my husband and I could go to PT/OT together so he can see why/what we are doing with the kids and help me with interventions.
I'm thankful for a husband who is willing to try to build some contraptions to help Grace more.
I am thankful for a house that is comfortable for us all (although I saw some pictures of a house recently and unfortunately had some covetousness about wanting to move to a nicer home - then I remembered who would be living there with me and said, "bad idea!!!")
I am thankful that my mother in law made it through her amputation surgery today only having to have 2 toes amputated when it was discussed during the past week about possibly having to amputate up to below her knee. I am thankful that my husband is a man who wants to love and honor his mother by being there and supporting her through all of this. That means that he is a man who will never leave my side either:)
I am thankful for a friend to who called to go for a walk just to get to talk:)
I am thankful for the Body of Christ, some of whom provided us with a delicious meal tonight...just because they thought we could use it today:)
I know we are not called to "easy." We are not even called to "comfortable." I am warring against my flesh and need to keep reminding myself that no matter how many decisions we have to get made about things, our Father already knows all of the answers and all of the outcomes. I so much want to be a Faithful Servant with all that He has given to me, but days like today make me feel like no matter what I do it doesn't matter. You know what? That is true and I should find peace in that!!!
I feel kind of like a juggler that is juggling at least 500 balls that I can label and they are all hitting me in the head. Feeling this overwhelmed is making me a little philosophical...what if I just had one really, really huge ball to deal with, like a terminal disease or a child dying? Would that be better? No way! I keep telling myself "put one foot in front of the other." "Just keep swimming" (while I really dislike Ellen D. I do love the idea (and the song) of "just keep swimming;). "This too shall pass." "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." "Nothing is impossible with God." "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds for the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work in you that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything." and "Blessed be the man who perseveres under trial for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." I am focusing on the two priorities that Jesus set 1) Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength (and teach the kids to do the same), and 2) love your neighbor as yourself. Right now I am having to pull in and consider my "neighbor" my children and keep hunkered down. Mostly I am focusing on the character of God, keeping Him my audience of One, the shortness of this life, and that this is not my home.
What I try to do when overwhelmed is step back and see the big picture. Things are always worse when they are in a microscope. So, I have had some things today that I am choosing to be thankful for and realizing that no decisions need to be made today (including my impulsive urge to fly to Tahiti lol!)
Some things that made me laugh today:
When JJ woke up this morning we heard for 30 minutes, "where's Daddy?" JJ loves his Daddy so much and we are so blessed to have a Daddy who is home so much for his kids!
JJ is starting to like food, and he calls all food either "pizza" or "apple." JJ brings me MUCH joy and laughter. He is a card!
Faith went to blow her nose today and sat on what she thought was the lid of the toilet to do it...but someone had not put the lid down... I felt sorry for laughing but it really was very funny!
Some things that I was thankful for today:
When I went through the science lesson with the kids today on scientific method..I think they got it!
Faith finished her 1st grade spelling! I am so excited for her diligence and love to learn:)
Superman is reading...really, really well!!! I thought for 2 years that he had dyslexia. I am SOO thankful that he does not and he is making progress. This is soo huge for us:)
Grace did well in occupational therapy today. She is now working on eating issues (as the messiest eater ever!) She gets to eat in front of a mirror to watch herself eating carefully:)
Buddy has passed 2 levels out of 3 in Myofunctional therapy! He also gets to eat in front of a mirror to make sure he is swallowing his food properly. We are a couple of months from being done!
Superman did not graduate out of PT today, but I am thankful for a therapist who is understanding his issues and beginning to see more of what we were telling her his issues are...since they are subtle.
Thankful that we could trust Beautiful to watch some of the kids today so my husband and I could go to PT/OT together so he can see why/what we are doing with the kids and help me with interventions.
I'm thankful for a husband who is willing to try to build some contraptions to help Grace more.
I am thankful for a house that is comfortable for us all (although I saw some pictures of a house recently and unfortunately had some covetousness about wanting to move to a nicer home - then I remembered who would be living there with me and said, "bad idea!!!")
I am thankful that my mother in law made it through her amputation surgery today only having to have 2 toes amputated when it was discussed during the past week about possibly having to amputate up to below her knee. I am thankful that my husband is a man who wants to love and honor his mother by being there and supporting her through all of this. That means that he is a man who will never leave my side either:)
I am thankful for a friend to who called to go for a walk just to get to talk:)
I am thankful for the Body of Christ, some of whom provided us with a delicious meal tonight...just because they thought we could use it today:)
I know we are not called to "easy." We are not even called to "comfortable." I am warring against my flesh and need to keep reminding myself that no matter how many decisions we have to get made about things, our Father already knows all of the answers and all of the outcomes. I so much want to be a Faithful Servant with all that He has given to me, but days like today make me feel like no matter what I do it doesn't matter. You know what? That is true and I should find peace in that!!!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
JJ Update: He is doing great!
Throughout JJ's life we have had 3 primary goals:
1) get him to breath normally
2) get him to eat and gain weight
3) get him to sleep better
Well...
Breathing: why is he better? Remember back when we went to Mazatlan, Mexico in Feb 2012? We found out that he breathed perfectly. We came home, bought a very expensive air purifier, and found that it improved his breathing as long as he did not leave the house:) Last year we were unable to take him outside at all - if we did he needed a nebulizer treatment. This year...not a single nebulizer treatment! Remember when we did that funky and weird allergy intervention weird thing? Well, that seems to be the only intervention that is consistently different (the air purifier helps inside but would not account for him being able to be outside). We wondered if because we are in such a drought if it was just the absence of molds from wetness. However, when we went to MN, which has had plenty of rain and wetness this year and it rained while we were there, he did not have any problems at all. In Aug/Sept when my husband and oldest son started having some fall allergy issues, JJ did not! Faith also had these treatments. She also has not needed any nebulizer treatments although she is having some congestion this fall.
Eating/Drinking:
JJ has made it to 28 lbs, which is the 50th percentile! He has never been above the 10th percentile so we are thrilled! The first 18 months of his life he gained weight one month and lost weight the next. Makes for slow progress. In the past 6 months he only lost weight once! He is also in the 25th percentile for height:) His mom is 5'5" and his dad is 5'10" so we don't expect him to be a super tall guy...but that is the same height of my husband and I and our oldest is pushing 6 foot and her brother is close behind lol!
JJ is a very, very picky eater. We have not really cared what he eats as long has he eats. JJ has considered a "meal" to be 2 - 3 bites of a food. Even at that, he has required that my husband or I eat the food first (kind of like a food tester for a king lol!). He has preferred to sit on our lap and just sample a bit of what we are eating (thankfully in the past 2 weeks he is now insisting on being in his highchair- yay!!) He likes foods like rice, raw tomatoes, cranberry juice, sliced ham/turkey, and grape nuts. He is an odd duck. He does NOT like breads. It is very funny that now that he is starting to talk, when he is hungry his word for "food" is "pizza." As that food is a family favorite (although not for JJ) he is used to hearing the word so uses it for all food lol! Some people may think that we are not doing a good job of requiring him to eat/try all foods, etc. Well, after almost two years of this kid not gaining weight we were willing to have a picky eater...if just to have an eater!
Another oddity of JJ is that he really does not like sippy cups...at all. He wants a bottle and it must be of milk. It has been pretty recent that he will drink anything other than milk, and that is only cranberry juice. Even at that he drinks maybe an once or two. We keep his bottles filled in the fridge so he can just go and get them at will (just like another kid having their sippy cup always available). He has learned that he drinks two bottles at a shot now so will just grab two from the fridge and go double fisted:) He will drink from a straw so we are trying to transition with that. This is a new problem for me as my babies all went from nursing to the cup at 11 months with no bottle. Even Grace, who was exclusively bottle fed obviously, gave up her bottle very easily. We are learning that even though he is the 6th kid, there are many, many firsts!! Thinking of weaning him from the bottle makes me worry that he will lose weight again so we are just holding off... We spend $100 a month on raw milk for our family and much of it goes to JJ. It must be working as he is gaining weight and he wets through his diaper almost every night - we are SO HAPPY about this!!
Sleeping:
In the past 2 months JJ has been sleeping better with most nights him sleeping most of the night. In the past 3 weeks this has improved to him sleeping all the way through the night 6 of 7 nights a week! He has also never been a napper - he may fall asleep in our arms at some point in the day (usually way to late in the day)...or not. Most days he never napped. He fell asleep sometime around midnight and woke late morning (after being up with us several times in the night for comfort). In the past 3 weeks he consistently goes to sleep 2:30ish and takes a 2 - 3 hour nap. He still doesn't go to sleep until midnight but wakes between 8:30 and 9:30 a.m. What has not changed is that we still have to put him to sleep. We lay on the bed with him and he drinks his bottle, hangs onto us, and falls asleep. Oddly enough he will fall asleep within 15 minutes for his nap but at bedtime it usually takes an hour...
Embarrassing Quirk:
Probably JJ's most embarrassing quirk is his attachment object. I think I have made it pretty clear that he prefers to be held, cuddled, not put down, not be left alone, and always in the company of my husband or I. Well, other than his pacifier he has never attached to an "object" other than us. In the TBRI training this was a key part of attachment and bonding. I nursed JJ until he was 16 months old. He was not excited about being weaned. Before that, he would hang onto my shirt collar when nursing or falling asleep. Once weaned he decided that did not give enough guarantee of my closeness so went for my...bra strap. Yes, the child prefers my shoulder bra strap over a blanket, stuffed animal, or any other object. There are times where I can distract him, but he continues to be a very fearful child so when in public, and thus afraid, he goes for the attachment object...Yes, the embarrassing things we as parents put up with to give our children security lol! I am currently trying to put a rubber hair band around my shoulder outside of my shirt to get him to hang onto that. He is not very interested. So, I continue to put him to sleep at bedtime and nap time (he will let my husband put him down for nap but not bedtime) as I am the one with the bra strap. Gotta feel loved lol! Again, at this point we are just so happy that he is consistently going to sleep that we are not going to rock any boat. He has no ability to self-sooth at all. This will be something we will need to get figured out.
Going to others:
Another huge praise has been his willingness, well, not willingness but tolerance is probably a better word, for going to nursery and Sunday School. I am so thankful for his Sunday School teachers that told me I could just leave and let him cry. He remains pretty stand offish but at least he is going and not screaming the entire time:) Nursery is a bit different in that there are different caregivers every week. We had Faith stay in there with him 4 times. Now he goes, unhappily, but goes. Today when I handed him over to the caregiver (a sweet friend of mine) he clung to her and put his head on her shoulder. I was thrilled he was accepting comfort from someone else! There is also a man at church who has taken JJ under his wing and JJ will go to at times. Good things!
Talking:
Finally, JJ is beginning to talk. He doesn't have a large expressive vocabulary to use words to name things. Yet, he is able to get his point across well to us between sign language and words. He mimics almost everything that we say. He will point to things and get them if we ask - showing he is doing well with receptive language.
JJ is, after 25 months, finally starting to make consistent gains. He is an absolutely adorable child and I adore him. His smiles, his laughter, and his boyish sillyness keep our family in stitches. We have a few rough edges to work out like him throwing things, "talking" over us when we are trying to talk (essentially yelling "words" while we are talking to be sure he is the center of attention, and hitting when angry. Oh, and thinking of potty training at some time...in the future...distant future lol!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Occupational Therapy Update:)
I am pleasantly surprised that the occupational therapy interventions with Grace are producing pleasing results. In the previous post (the one with all of the bunny trails that is really, really long and no one probably read to the end) I wrote about some of the specific interventions we are to be using with Grace. This post will be about what we are seeing.
ADHD and sensory issues are such multi faceted issues. Even though I had read about and had training regarding ADHD I still did not know enough about it until I got to deal with it day in and day out. In 7 days I get to attend a day long training for Psychologists by the world renowned expert on ADHD. I am curious how it will go:)
For so long the primary issue with Grace was hyperactivity. For years we just tried to calm her down enough that she would not be hurting herself or others. We tried all kinds of interventions and finally used Ritalin. We did get effects from other interventions but the Ritalin finally slowed her down to manageable levels:) We did an increase one time, but with dietary and nutritional changes we were able to reduce it again.
At that time, once she was a bit slowed down, we noticed how bad the concentration problems were. She was in Kindergarten and her lack of ability to attend to the lessons was causing her to really lag behind. We were happy to keep her from hurting herself, others, or wrecking something - forget about math facts and reading! In the spring we switched her to a different medication, Vyvanse. That medication, administered below the recommended start dose, helped to control both her hyperactivity and poor concentration. She made significant strides in school over the summer.
The 3rd issue we have with her is impulsivity. She never stops talking, loudly, without listening for answers. She is seeing something interesting and running for it without regard to it potentially being dangerous or belonging to someone else. She is ever seeking to pin blame on others and not be found at fault herself. We found that this also improved with the medication change. Today we tried a no-med day to see how much of the improvement is from the meds and how much from the occupational therapy (OT). The main problem from the day was impulsivity again. Constant talking and inability to respect others' boundaries led to many sibling conflicts that we have enjoyed not dealing with as frequently (as in, a good day is perhaps 1 - 2 conflicts an hour).
Those issues are primarily dealt with by the medication. So, you ask, what else is there that the OT could even help? The mornings and bedtime have been the worst times for Grace. She wakes up at the crack of dawn, wakes up her sister who needs more sleep, wakes up the house, and essentially bounces around like Tigger creating chaos before people can even open their eyes. Bedtime usually involves at least 30 minutes of out of control screaming, if not longer, that means that no one else can be going to bed. She doesn't stay in her room (much less her bed) and is verbally and physically out of control. 90% of the time we have to remove her sister and have her sleep in her brother's room (in JJ's bed, which means that JJ is still in out bedroom). Her waking and going to sleep have come to be the most dreaded part of my day.
Grace potty trained very quickly at 21 months (I am glad that was easy lol!) She loves to go to the bathroom...and wash her hands. We only use bar soap (which is healthier anyway:) as she will go through a pump bottle in a day. She is forever playing in dirt, sand, water, anything messy. She spins and spins and spins - preferably upside down. She sits upside down during meals - hitting her head on the table for added drama when told to sit up. Superman has to be placed between Grace and Faith at the table and in the van as he is able to defend Faith better. She picks the drywall mud off of the wall. She is the messiest eater alive as she plays in her food rather than eat it. When told no, well, we say it to her countless times a day but it is almost always a battle. She is smart and uses it to be sneaky. If she sees it, she wants it and she goes for it.
Occupational therapy has reduced most of these issues! She is sleeping at night without screaming! Faith actually gets to sleep in her own bed, and Grace is VERY CAREFUL about not waking her in the morning when she gets up. Just so you really get the effect, I said that Grace was CAREFUL! We have only had to removed Faith from the room 2x in 3 weeks and this was not due to screaming! Grace has always been very fearful of the dark (or, more realistically, she wants the closet light on so she can play with her toys since it takes her awhile to wind down and fall asleep). This has hindered Faith from falling asleep as well. Last week Grace announced to us that she wanted the closet light off and has done this successfully! She has a long history of nightmares, and has only had one in the past 3 weeks! Then, when she came to us she came QUIETLY so as not to wake JJ (it used to be that she would charge into our room numerous times during the night as loud as she could be - she now seems to understand quiet) and was quickly calmed and able to go back to her bed. It is quite amazing!
In my mind I am trying to categorize and conceptualize what is really going on with her. We have nutritional issues with digestion that we are still in the process of correcting. We have a ton of food allergies - that we are dealing with nutritionally and via diet. We have ADHD (hyperactivity, concentration, and impulsivity) that has been adequately controlled with medication at a minimal dose and very watchful eyes of my husband and I who try to ward off any "dangerous" triggers. And now the issues that I thought were part of ADHD that seem to be sensory processing issues are being addressed with the OT.
I am so thankful for being able to wake with the sun and not a child screaming or jostling me or slamming doors or running all over the house waking everyone else. I am SOOOOO thankful for bedtimes that do not include out of control screaming. I am so thankful that the girls are sleeping well in their room...and maybe we can have JJ in he and Superman's room...perhaps by the time he is 3? I am so thankful that there are fewer injuries to siblings from her impulsiveness. I am so thankful for calmer days where she is not nearly as impulsive spiraling out of control where the only intervention is to have her scream in her room until she exhausts herself before we can reengage her. Now she is better communicating to us and having a more quiet spirit. She really likes the interventions (like brushing, being wrapped tightly in a blanket and rolled on a big ball, etc) and will ask for them when she is feeling out of sorts. I dare say that life, at least as far as she is concerned is a bit calmer and..quieter! I know we are only 3 1/2 weeks into the interventions (messy eating issues are next!!!) and we have months and months ahead of us. But, we sure are enjoying what we are seeing so far:)
ADHD and sensory issues are such multi faceted issues. Even though I had read about and had training regarding ADHD I still did not know enough about it until I got to deal with it day in and day out. In 7 days I get to attend a day long training for Psychologists by the world renowned expert on ADHD. I am curious how it will go:)
For so long the primary issue with Grace was hyperactivity. For years we just tried to calm her down enough that she would not be hurting herself or others. We tried all kinds of interventions and finally used Ritalin. We did get effects from other interventions but the Ritalin finally slowed her down to manageable levels:) We did an increase one time, but with dietary and nutritional changes we were able to reduce it again.
At that time, once she was a bit slowed down, we noticed how bad the concentration problems were. She was in Kindergarten and her lack of ability to attend to the lessons was causing her to really lag behind. We were happy to keep her from hurting herself, others, or wrecking something - forget about math facts and reading! In the spring we switched her to a different medication, Vyvanse. That medication, administered below the recommended start dose, helped to control both her hyperactivity and poor concentration. She made significant strides in school over the summer.
The 3rd issue we have with her is impulsivity. She never stops talking, loudly, without listening for answers. She is seeing something interesting and running for it without regard to it potentially being dangerous or belonging to someone else. She is ever seeking to pin blame on others and not be found at fault herself. We found that this also improved with the medication change. Today we tried a no-med day to see how much of the improvement is from the meds and how much from the occupational therapy (OT). The main problem from the day was impulsivity again. Constant talking and inability to respect others' boundaries led to many sibling conflicts that we have enjoyed not dealing with as frequently (as in, a good day is perhaps 1 - 2 conflicts an hour).
Those issues are primarily dealt with by the medication. So, you ask, what else is there that the OT could even help? The mornings and bedtime have been the worst times for Grace. She wakes up at the crack of dawn, wakes up her sister who needs more sleep, wakes up the house, and essentially bounces around like Tigger creating chaos before people can even open their eyes. Bedtime usually involves at least 30 minutes of out of control screaming, if not longer, that means that no one else can be going to bed. She doesn't stay in her room (much less her bed) and is verbally and physically out of control. 90% of the time we have to remove her sister and have her sleep in her brother's room (in JJ's bed, which means that JJ is still in out bedroom). Her waking and going to sleep have come to be the most dreaded part of my day.
Grace potty trained very quickly at 21 months (I am glad that was easy lol!) She loves to go to the bathroom...and wash her hands. We only use bar soap (which is healthier anyway:) as she will go through a pump bottle in a day. She is forever playing in dirt, sand, water, anything messy. She spins and spins and spins - preferably upside down. She sits upside down during meals - hitting her head on the table for added drama when told to sit up. Superman has to be placed between Grace and Faith at the table and in the van as he is able to defend Faith better. She picks the drywall mud off of the wall. She is the messiest eater alive as she plays in her food rather than eat it. When told no, well, we say it to her countless times a day but it is almost always a battle. She is smart and uses it to be sneaky. If she sees it, she wants it and she goes for it.
Occupational therapy has reduced most of these issues! She is sleeping at night without screaming! Faith actually gets to sleep in her own bed, and Grace is VERY CAREFUL about not waking her in the morning when she gets up. Just so you really get the effect, I said that Grace was CAREFUL! We have only had to removed Faith from the room 2x in 3 weeks and this was not due to screaming! Grace has always been very fearful of the dark (or, more realistically, she wants the closet light on so she can play with her toys since it takes her awhile to wind down and fall asleep). This has hindered Faith from falling asleep as well. Last week Grace announced to us that she wanted the closet light off and has done this successfully! She has a long history of nightmares, and has only had one in the past 3 weeks! Then, when she came to us she came QUIETLY so as not to wake JJ (it used to be that she would charge into our room numerous times during the night as loud as she could be - she now seems to understand quiet) and was quickly calmed and able to go back to her bed. It is quite amazing!
In my mind I am trying to categorize and conceptualize what is really going on with her. We have nutritional issues with digestion that we are still in the process of correcting. We have a ton of food allergies - that we are dealing with nutritionally and via diet. We have ADHD (hyperactivity, concentration, and impulsivity) that has been adequately controlled with medication at a minimal dose and very watchful eyes of my husband and I who try to ward off any "dangerous" triggers. And now the issues that I thought were part of ADHD that seem to be sensory processing issues are being addressed with the OT.
I am so thankful for being able to wake with the sun and not a child screaming or jostling me or slamming doors or running all over the house waking everyone else. I am SOOOOO thankful for bedtimes that do not include out of control screaming. I am so thankful that the girls are sleeping well in their room...and maybe we can have JJ in he and Superman's room...perhaps by the time he is 3? I am so thankful that there are fewer injuries to siblings from her impulsiveness. I am so thankful for calmer days where she is not nearly as impulsive spiraling out of control where the only intervention is to have her scream in her room until she exhausts herself before we can reengage her. Now she is better communicating to us and having a more quiet spirit. She really likes the interventions (like brushing, being wrapped tightly in a blanket and rolled on a big ball, etc) and will ask for them when she is feeling out of sorts. I dare say that life, at least as far as she is concerned is a bit calmer and..quieter! I know we are only 3 1/2 weeks into the interventions (messy eating issues are next!!!) and we have months and months ahead of us. But, we sure are enjoying what we are seeing so far:)
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Broken...
There is a point where a person is so broken they have no words. They can only sit and cry. There is a point where they have no plan, they can only cling to the love and perfect plan of the Father. There is a point where they isolate themselves and feel so alone they seek out only those tried and true friends. There is a point where they second guess every decision in their life and question what is even right any more.
So thankful for tried and true friends. So thankful for prayer of others. So thankful for Jesus who is never surprised, never walks away, never gives up, and never changes. So thankful for His power, sovereignty, perfect plan, and perfect timing to work out ALL things for the good of those who love Him. Clinging to His truth and trying to love as He loves. Reminding myself that with humility comes pruning.
Deeply reminded that we have no control. None. Not an ounce. Thankfully, God is good, all of the time. All of the time, God is good. And He has ALL of the control...
So thankful for tried and true friends. So thankful for prayer of others. So thankful for Jesus who is never surprised, never walks away, never gives up, and never changes. So thankful for His power, sovereignty, perfect plan, and perfect timing to work out ALL things for the good of those who love Him. Clinging to His truth and trying to love as He loves. Reminding myself that with humility comes pruning.
Deeply reminded that we have no control. None. Not an ounce. Thankfully, God is good, all of the time. All of the time, God is good. And He has ALL of the control...
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