Today my husband and I took JJ to eat at his favorite Chinese restaurant. In order to get him to be compliant with doing school (and knowing that it is extra hard for him to learn to read) he gets candy. I have pre-bagged his favorite candy into 20 bags (that are given to him for diligent work) and he was told that when he completed 20 days of school without complaining we would take him out for Chinese. That happened to be today right after his first session of speech therapy with his new Speech Language Pathologist. He completed the evaluation the last 2 sessions and today they started working. She is much different than the last agency we worked with, but we are very excited about the results of the language testing (he scored at or above "average" in all areas except for how he arranges words in sentences - the "Yoda speak" that we joke about). However, Language is different from Speech (I never knew that until I had kids with learning disabilities) and he obviously is very delayed in speech articulation. Despite that, she was very encouraging after even 1 actual speech therapy session today that he picks it up very quickly and will learn fast. She said that since he did not start talking until he was 4 he has to play a lot of "catch up" and if we thought about what we would expect from the speech of a 3 year old (with a child normally beginning to speak at age 1) that he would be on target. Now that we have this evaluation we have started speech therapy again, and will develop a new plan for how to teach him how to read. That will mean more candy...and more Chinese food;) She did agree with the continued diagnosis of Childhood Apraxia of Speech but it is very mild at this time - he has progressed so much!!
My husband and I love to take JJ to the Chinese restaurant because he actually eats a ton of food and, for some reason, that place makes him stop and think - and ask deep questions. Part of me was so proud of him for thinking through issues in a deep way that is outside of the box. He obviously takes time to consider issues and I marvel at the way his brain contemplates things. Another part of me, though, is so sad about the topics that he has to spend time thinking about...
Today part of our conversation sounded like this:
JJ: Dad, why did you choose Mom to marry?
Dad: Because I loved her.
JJ: Oh.
Me: We loved each other so we chose each other to get married to. Just like we loved you so we chose you to be our son.
JJ: No you didn't. God did.
Me: Yes, you are right.
JJ: Why did my mom not raise me?
Me: Well, she didn't have a daddy to help raise you and she didn't feel like she had enough money and people to support raising you the way she wanted you to be raised. She loves you very much so chose our family to raise you the way she wanted you to grow up.
JJ: Why did you keep Beautiful and Buddy? They were in your tummy and you kept them.
Me: Well, I had Dad to help me raise them and we were blessed to be able to have enough money to provide for them.
JJ: And Superman, and Faith, and Grace. That is a lot of people! That must take a lot of money!
Me - laughing: Yes it sure does. You are all gifts from God and we love all of you.
Me: Your mom is married now and I just saw on fb this morning that she has had another baby a couple of weeks ago. So now you have 4 other siblings.
JJ: What is the baby's name?
Me: I don't know, she didn't say.
JJ: You should ask her.
Me: I will.
JJ: When do I get to meet my mom? I know she lives a LONG ways away.
Me: Ummmm, some day we will go and meet her. We would have to fly there so it wouldn't be soon that we could do that.
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Later at home when I showed him the picture of his new baby brother
JJ: Where is a picture of my mom?
I showed it to him, her husband was in the picture too.
JJ: Is that my dad?
Me: Ummm, no. That is her husband and the father of your youngest 2 brothers.
JJ: How is her husband not my dad?
Me: Well, she was not married to him when you were born. You have a different dad. The same as your older sister.
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JJ has asked questions before but not quite like this. And he has never asked to see his mom before. This topic is so complicated. Flying across the country to go see his mom would be a nice experience for him (I would hope). But then there are 3 other kiddos in the house who don't get to see their moms. I often second guess myself on what I am "supposed" to be saying to the kids, because each of their adoption stories are very different and I don't want one to feel worse than another from the story that I tell them. Hard stuff.
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In other news: JJ is doing awesome in math and moving quicker with putting consonants and vowels together than he did learning the sounds in the first place. I am hopeful of his continued progress.
He is still not sleeping well. In fact, since we have gotten back from Disney World it has been much, much worse. It is like he is terrified at night. He barely makes it a few hours in his own bed then he is back in ours with his arms around my neck like he is scared I will not be there. He used to crawl in our bed, warm up (he hates blankets and kicks them off all.the.time. Yet he complains when I make him wear warm clothes to bed in an attempt to keep him warm enough to stay in his own bed longer...) and fall back asleep without touching us at all. It is odd. I just know that I.am.tired lol!
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