After I successfully made it through a week without my husband and oldest son, reinforcing my already solid belief that I never ever want be a single mother (I threaten my husband often that he cannot die until they are all graduated lol!), I thought I would continue the challenge. Competition with my brother you know;) So after my brother and I discussed that I probably passed that week with a solid 50% rating of success I decided that I need to keep it up. Raise the bar a bit. Work toward that 60% rate of success.
Between that and my lower back/herniated disk/some other health issues, I decided that some things needed to change. Hence, my new Resolution. I am hoping to hit it with at least a 60% success rate. Time will tell.
1) I started a new exercise program. A program that is supposed to help strengthen my core muscles that support my lower back so that I experience less pain. Just walking on the treadmill 4-5 days a week wasn't doing that for me. I can safely say that after only 2 days of the intensive workout that 1 of 2 things are happening.
Either a) my lower back really is strengthening since I do not have any discernible pain there at all despite the typical constant presence of the pain and the additional working out or
b) The rest of my body is in so much pain that I can't discern any pain from my lower back. Quite honestly, I am thinking it is B. I cannot believe how much my body hurts. JJ had me up for 90 minutes in the middle of the night due to nasty mosquitoes bites itching him AND I am in a lot of pain. So, I took a nap this afternoon. I slept very hard and when I woke I thought it was Saturday. All the way from my bedroom up the stairs (which took a while, because stairs are my nemesis right now...along with sitting...and walking...) I thought it was Saturday. When I finally got to the top of the stairs I almost cried with relief that it is only Friday and I have an extra day to heal before church:) Best.news.today!
2) Healthy clean eating. I am having a harder time with this than the exercising. I normally don't like a lot of junk, but when I now "can't" have it it makes the temptation all that much worse. But, I have committed to 3 months of it (that is how long the program is) so I will prevail. Also, I keep thinking about my husband having diabetes and I really am just eliminating the things that he already cannot have. If he has to do it, I can do it too:)
As a side note, we all know that my cooking is not always...appreciated. Tonight I made homemade mac and cheese for the kids (fruit protein shake for me...yay!). I had given up on making homemade mac and cheese when the now teenagers discovered the boxed stuff when the middles were toddlers and then preferred that. I refuse to make the boxed stuff. But...today I made it homemade for them and...they ALL had second helpings! EVEN BUDDY!!!!! Buddy is my harshest food critic by far. He cooks for himself and I consider it a HUGE success if he eats what I make. So now I can add homemade mac and cheese to homemade pizza, fried eggs, pancakes, waffles, and spaghetti;) Of course he will eat my husband's grilled or fried chicken or steak or burgers - but I don't make those;)
Another side note, JJ must be in a massive growth spurt. He has eaten constantly for 2 days. He has eaten seconds of everything today AND eaten far more frequently than usual. Even HE loved my mac and cheese!!! We will have to measure him again soon:)
3) Family prayers. This tends to get to the back burner. We made a new system and tried it out today. I am hopeful it will work better to get everyone involved. We also started a new devotional method so I hope that will be successful as well.
4) Bible Reading. I have read through the Bible multiple times, and this year I am attempting to get it done in 1 year. I found an accountability partner in January who has been very helpful but always realistic and gracious when I am not on schedule. I do not like that I am behind so I have also resolved to get back on track with the reading schedule.
5) Chores. Since school got out we have been working on expanding the chore list for the Middles. It helps my husband's and my stress levels when we are not the only ones cleaning up after others, etc. When my husband was gone I decided to teach the Middles to clean their bathrooms. I have added doing their own laundry (except Grace...), and other household duties. The girls are being taught how to load and unload the dishwasher, and wash dishes. I am also keeping them by my side when I cook and trying to talk my way through it to teach them the why's and how's. Many of you probably have done that with your kiddos for a long time already. I did with Beautiful and Buddy. But, when we ended up with 3 toddlers at the same time, keeping them in the kitchen with me was not happening. At all. So now I am working to get the kids more involved in the kitchen and being more responsible in that way. I have to cater to their own giftedness (and attitudes) but it has been in place about a month (at least the additions to their previous chore lists) and it has been going ok. Grace likes to ask "why" a lot (e.g. why do we have to do this? what is the point? and "this is boring") which is really just putting voice to the thoughts I can see in the other's faces/body language, but they are coming around.
Things have been going better since school got out (since the Colorado trip and starting EMDR with them around that time). Attitudes and behaviors are less frequent or less difficult to correct. As a whole this has been the calmest our house has been in 10 years since the adoptions began. There is no way I will say it is "calm." But it is the calmest. Therefore, I felt it was the best time to get out of "survival mode" and start herding the family toward some more "life skills training." I hate life stuck in the mindset of "I just have to survive long enough to get to bed again and sleep." I like not cringing when a child walks in the room because it is accompanying a "she said/she said" complaint.
Oh, I forgot to mention that now any time a child comes with a "she said/she said" complaint that they are sat down at the kitchen table and only allowed to speak about themselves and their own sin/role in the conflict. They are not allowed to say a word about what the other person did (unless we ask for the purpose of clarification). They are not allowed to get up until they have both admitted to their roles in the conflict. They then must write down 5 things they like about the sibling. It is significantly cut down on the tattling and I wish I had thought of it a long time ago lol! They are still plenty naughty, but reducing the verbal barrage of hate has helped...it seems.
In a month Grace will head off to Public School and Superman and Faith will head off to the local Christian School. We are excited for this new change in our family. Next I need to get to work on the curriculum for our 2 remaining home schoolers...Buddy and JJ. A Junior and a Kindergartner. It is a good thing that Buddy is self-teaching:)
So, now that I have laid this out here I am accountable publicly as well. I hope that I hit that 60% success rate...We shall know in 3 months which is how long I am resolved to this new plan to give it a chance to become habit and work out the kinks;)
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