My Current Crazy Life

Uggg, so much!

My mother in law is in the hospital again.  She was in for 5 days with pneumonia, then got out for 3 days, and is back in with a blocked/kinked small intestine.  She is in a hospital 90 minutes away this time.  Due to the diabetes, dementia, and sun downers her treatment is very complicated.  She is non-compliant.  She is delusional.  It is sad.  My husband wants to be there with her, but she doesn't know who he is (thinks he is her husband) and that is making her very agitated and it does not help. It is hard to know how to proceed.  We are just agreeing to what the specialists say at this point.  Her veins keep collapsing so they are putting in a picc line right now.  Hopefully she will not pull that tube out too...

So, in addition to that craziness, I had agreed 2 months ago to be the camp Psychologist for Royal Family Kids Camp this week.  That means that my husband won't get the support from me that he needs this week, and I won't be home to help with kids like he is used to W - F.  We got last minute approval that 2 of our kids get to go to Royal Family Kids Camp, a HUGE blessing, and that should help his stress level.

I am stressed about camp.  My idea of being outside is to go hiking for a short period of time, or opening the windows of the house lol!  I am also known, as I have told you before, as the "fun sucker."  So "camp"  well, the idea of it just stretches me beyond any area of comfort.  But, I am excited to teach the counselors/staff about TBRI and how to work with these kiddos differently so I am doing it.

Grace did tolerable for 3 weeks!  And the past 4 days she is dysregulating again.  I am SOOO glad she is going to camp this week...  Even before she was 2 we noticed the cyclical nature of her dysregulation.  I have not found her symptoms to be consistent with bipolar disorder, but we are about ready to try anything...  It is extremely hard to live with her.  I feel terrible for the trauma the other kids go through.  Beautiful is ready to be away from it (in all honesty, we all are).  Very ready.  That breaks my heart.

Right now she is screaming at me such vile and venomous things as she has been put in her bedroom until she calms.  She argues about EVERYTHING.  She threatens.  She is exasperating and exhausting.  We really need prayer for her to be healed and for us to be able to endure her/enjoy her.  There are no words to explain how difficult things are with her.  She can be so precious, and in public she never displays the full extent of her venom.  But then...

JJ is doing AWESOME!  He loved music therapy last week!  He clung to me and did engage as long as I was right there.  He actually yelled out his name right away when they were doing introductions!!!!  He is doing so much better with talking.  In fact, we have had to laugh several times in the past 2 weeks as we have, for the first time, wished that he DIDN'T talk lol!

My husband and I took Beautiful (and JJ) to her wedding dress fitting and then to Red Lobster for lunch.  JJ loudly announced his need to use the restroom (not in those nice words) and has done so several times in other public venues (like church).  We try to keep our mortification to a minimum and just be pleased he is speaking his mind, but sheeesh!  Aside from that we had such a precious and sweet time with Beautiful.  61 more days and she will be married and gone.  I try not to think about it...

There was a car accident next to our house this week and I was getting everyone ready to go to the pool.  JJ went outside and went right up to the police office and talked to him (while the guy was trying to do the police report...).  We have never  taught him to beware of strangers as he is scared of everyone, so when I talked with him afterwards about that he just kept asking "why" he shouldn't go up to strangers and talk to them.  He has been priding himself on waving at everyone on our walks and says every time, "Mom!  I waved at someone!"  It was hard to figure out how to tell a kid who has been terrified of strangers, to be afraid of strangers now that he is getting more bold.  I am still not really sure how to address it that won't put him back into his shell.

JJ loves to move his body to music and get really wild.  Last night we went to a dance and he danced for hours.  It was so fun to see him be that free with strangers!!

He is also getting amazing with articulation and word retrieval!  I am shocked with the words that he is able to retrieve.  For example, twice in the past week I asked him what a bunch of colors were...and he retrieved the words spontaneously and correctly!  Praise God!

With this new found vocabulary explosion (again, he had it receptively, now it is expressive) is also some serious independence asserting itself.  He sees Grace rebel against us 24/7 with words and actions and he emulates her.  He spews the same words at us.  He is too smart and thinks up things to push limits, some of which Grace never even thought of.  Sigh...

For example, as I was typing this Faith came running in and told me that JJ was stuck up in a tree.  I went to him and asked him why he was in the tree, he said he was chasing a snake and got stuck and was scared (impressive word usage!).  But, when I firmly reminded him that it was good he was scared as he was not to climb a tree as he could fall down and get hurt he said, "why Grace climb it?!?!"  I reminded him, again, that Grace is also not supposed to climb the tree.  He doesn't understand why he isn't allowed to do what he sees his 5 siblings do, whether their behavior is due to them being older...or due to their rebellion.

Wedding announcements went out!  That really makes it real...  The guest list was my most stressful part of this process (thus far).  We have so many people on the list that our church will not hold them all.  It was hard to figure that part out hoping not to offend people.  But, it is figured out to the best that we could and we will just trust God with the rest:)

Well, I am off to try to enjoy my last night of rest before the next 5 days of chaos.  I look around and think I should get the bathrooms cleaned, the laundry put away, etc before I am gone.  But then I think...naaaaa.... I will just hunker down with the kiddos and my husband instead;)